Parenting

I am the mother of a 4 year old and I regretfully have missed the majority of his young life due to my illness. I am just now getting on my feet and able to control my emotions. I would like to hear from other parents on how they cope and handle the pressures of parenting and strategies that you use.

You absolutely need to check out this awesome book called "Love and Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay (see Amazon link below):

http://www.amazon.com/Parentin...

My wife and I use the principles in this book and it sure does make our lives MUCH easier and less stressful. Of all the parenting books out there, this one's the best we've read. It's definitely worth a look.

My oldest is 4. I cry sometimes just thinking what her early years before my diagnosis must have been like.

I explain my condition to her as much as I can. Especially if I'm having a bad day. I find it helps to explain that sometimes mummy gets mad or sad because of her illness but mummy doesn't want to be mad or sad and most of all she doesn't want to make her sad.

Have a look at the seroquel website. There are a lot of bipolar resources there.

I am lucky that I have supportive family who take the kids out of my way when I;m not myself.

I have a 13 year old teenager. She is going thru adolescence, I am single on my own witn no support (other than phone calls to friends abroad).

I am going thru a bad depressive patch and finding it very hard to handle.The dynamics between us have changed and she is less tolerant of me than previously. I am stuck in bed alot, crying for no reason, binge drinking. I manage to hide most but not all of this from my daughter, but the little she does see is disturbing her. I have increased my meds but they don't seem to be kicking in yet.

Any advice appreciated.

Now that I am kind of stabilized, my 4 year old is driving me NUTS. I really need to know if this is "normal" 4 year old behavior or is he just acting out now that I am lucid. He is beginning to throw very violent tantrums kicking, hitting, and screaming when it is bath time or he needs to brush his teeth. Other than that he is a perfectly well behaved child. I have tried all forms of positive "punishment". Talking to him, taking toys away, time out, eliminating play time, etc.

I am also concerned with the fact that bi-polar can be genetic. Both of my parents were bi-polar.

Amberlynn, my 3.5 yr old sounds like your 4yo. It's interesting, he seems to be acting out more now that I just started feeling better. It makes sense to me, I figure he's feeling safer to act out now that I'm stable, I'm sure there's a lot of pent-up emotion from when I wasn't feeling well.

I'd recommend the book Parenting Your Strong-willed Child. I've found a lot of good tips, none that come to mind right now, heh, sorry. We're also at the stage of time outs, taking toys, sending to the room is not working. My IL's say it's because I allowed bad behavior for so long (which I did), it's going to take a while to correct, and it may get worse before it gets better. I just try to stay strong, unemotional when he's tantruming, and remember that only one person can rule our house and it better be me and not the 3-year-old!

I have been diagnosed for over ten years. During the early years before I was medicated, it was hard on all of us. Through their growing up I have had many ups and downs and have been hospitalized (outpatient) a few times. I was even in a life-threatening car accident. I can't afford to feel guilty and I would not be a good parent if I were. I do the best that I can on a daily basis and let them know how much I love them each day. They are growing into maturity with the gift of compassion. They know that mom suffers from depression. I have not been able to tell them about the bipolar -- but that will come in time if necessary. For the most part, the medications have kept me out of the highs, but the depression is debilitating. I get frustrated at times, but I know that I have to keep doing what I am doing to have hope. Your kids will be alright because you love and care for them.
Maria

To Amberlynn and others concerned about the genetic component risk to our children,

I just became aware of this excellant site today: www.bpkids.org/site/PageServer...

Just over halfway through the article are sections titled "How can I help my child?" and "Finding the right doctor".

Thank you for that website... it really gave a lot of insight.

I have a 7 month old daughter, and although her dad is in our lives he isn't very helpful. It sucks. It's hard to hold myself together, sometimes I want to cry or stay in bed all day. But somehow I manage...

Have you read the article here at www.moodtracker.com/nutrition.... by Dr. Scott Shannon a pediatric psychiatrist and former president of American Holistic Medical Association. There is a link to his website at the bottom of the article.

K

I know I'm late to this topic but I feel really chatty with no one to chat with right now so please bear with me. I have three chidlren, ages 15, 13 and 6, so I have raised kids in all kinds of situations. I have never talked tot he 13 year old about my illness, because I am worried about him. I have talked to the 15 year old but I also did not mention the bipolar word. I agree with one of the posters above who said she couldn't let herself be weighed down by guilt. I think if I let myself I coudl be guilty about a lot of things with raising my kids. But I have had a supportive partner for the last 12 years, and she helps when things seem to be getting out of control for me. Otehr than that I am always telling my kids how much i love them and am hugging them all the time. I am doing the best I can and just hope that they will all realize that. I know my oldest does realize it, she is wise beyond her years.