racing/ intrusive thoughts and self harm

I noticed that when i have racing/ intrusive thoughts my head feels packed and heavy and buzzing and some how i figured out that self harm relieves this.. Had anyone else been this way? what else can i do to stop them? how do i slow/ clear my head of my thoughts?

I really dont like resorting to self harm and im afraid to tell my pdoc because im afraid hes going to call me attention getting and its not like telling him would do anything...

Were not doing anything to my meds for now because he says i have to tough it out until they work because theyre supposed to help that and everything else when they start to work.. So medication is out of the question.

what can i do while i wait for my meds to start working?

PS- over all ive been on lamictal since july

July and you're still not seeing anything? Oy, I started in October and am wondering the same thing. How can I have the patience to wait for this? I don't have much going for me right now and I've been counting on my treatment (meds, behavioral therapy, counseling) to be the positive thing to get me through. It is slooow going and I'm still searching.

I feel like if I had one good thing in my life, I could tough it out. Alas, no family, no money, crappy job, no partner. Counseling is the only relief. I told my counselor that she is the highlight of my week. Sad huh?

I keep trying to get back into my hobbies (art, writing, volunteering) but who has the energy? Church is really the only family I have around but my stupid job keeps scheduling me on Sundays. I've been isolating lately anyhow.

There are times in therapy I will mention things just for the sake of knowing. If I feel it isn't relavent, I say so and I won't waste my time discussing it.

I believe being in treatment requires full disclosure to get the most out of it. However, it sounds like you don't fully trust him. From the way you describe him, I'm not sure I would either.

You really need to be up front about the self harm. That is symptomatic of something other than bipolar. If your meds are not working, perhaps you have a different issue or an additional issue. Don't hold back.

Madog could be on to something here. Most mental illnesses don't travel alone and a few people I know with bipolar are also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which has self harm as a hallmark symptom among others. It is hard having both problems together, having a good psychiatrist and therapist is really important.

BPD wouldnt be surprising to me.
my pdoc told me one time that many bipolar people are self centered and thats made me scared to say anything. i never tell anyone when i resort to that, except after (a few months) i try to stop, and sometimes they find out because of the clothes i wear by accident.
I was even afraid to post sonething on here.

Seroquel helped for about 2 months, but i gained 20 lbs and other stuff. abilify i was on for 4 months ( around this time last year) and alone it didnt help stabilize my mood at all ( it helped with hallucinations though) but i was also on welbutrin (didnt work) .
So im not sure how much medicine helps..

But again, BPD wouldnt surprise me.
But, can you develop it or is it genetic? im just wondering..

I am BPD as well as BP. The jury is out as to the cause of BPD. It used to be thought that a bad upbringing was the sole cause. Now it is thought that there might be more of biological cause, though many podcs even today would not buy that. It is just not as bad to be BPD as once thought, and it is something that can be cured. I am really surprised by your pdoc's comment about self centeredness. Gee, I did not think our lot was that bad!

Im still young and im not having a bad upbringing i dont think, actually, its going quite well other than my moods. No traumatic expiriences. ive acted the same as i always have since i was a small child. So i dont think they can diagnose me with a personality disorder until im an adult...

my pdoc said it in a light tone, but just hearing things like that gets to me no matter how its spoken.

I've read that self-harm is common with BPD but i've also read that teenagers are the most common group to do it.

Because i was doing a lot of self-harm and was suicidal at one point (in my late 30's) i asked my dr about BPD and he said that i didn't exhibit the other symptoms that would go along with that diagnosis. I think the self-harm was a phase for me... did it as a teen then not at all then for a bout a year and now i feel over it...

To stop i had to remind myself that it was temporary and i didn't want more scars. I focused on what happens after to remember why it wasn't such a great idea, really...

Also, i have chronic pain and worried that inducing pain was messing with my already overactive pain signals.
Maybe, run around the block, do jumping jacks or put some loud music on and dance!!!... any kind of exercise that will give your body a quick rush/outlet.

Another thing that can help is breaking something but in a controlled way. I knew a guy who got a bunch of dishes from the thrift store and would break them.
I've torn up paper before but it's good to have what you want to mess-up chosen before hand because i've torn up my journals and address book.

I also use progressive relaxation techniques, naming the parts of my body from toe to head and focusing on relaxing them.

It may take some time but i bet you can find something that replaces self-harm and the urge will fade. Sort of like an addiction, the longer you can hold off from doing it the more the urges will likely fade away.

Good luck ;)

p.s. i agree with others, to get the best meds/therapy for you, telling dr is good.

okhope- youve helped me in that one comment more than my therapist has in the past 7 months. thank you for your advice. Im now in a particularly good mood (= ..

I really like okhope's idea of "breaking something in a controlled way." Reminds me of a time when I used to smash aluminum soda cans with a deadblow hammer on top of a piece of wood so as not to damage the kitchen floor. Once I also smashed an old broken VCR machine to smithereens with a hammer on the living room rug. What an awesome outlet that was for the harsh "destroy yourself" feelings that I was normally used to aiming inwardly at myself.

Hey Owl, glad i could be of help!
Sometimes, there's nothing like peer support, sharing our experiences... I wish i had a therapist right now (and will eventually!) but it's good to remember how much i too get out of being here ;)

Jadyn, sounds like some fun, hehe.