My experience this week
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March 23, 2018 - 7:23 am
On Monday of this week, after a night in which I got only four or five hours of sleep, I had to ride an hour on my motorcycle.
I had to go and see a psychiatrist to get a prescription 4 alprazolam which is one of the two agents that helps me to sleep. Even without sleep, I had to go very early in the morning because the psychiatrist only works before 11 a.m..
The ride was very dangerous for me because I was only half awake. At one point I guessed that I was about 70% of asleep, like someone slowly Awakening but drowsy after anesthesia.
My sense of being mostly asleep was confirmed when I put gas in my motorcycle and drove away without putting the cap on the gas tank, but instead leaving the cap connected to the Keys, right in front of me, with the gas tank exposed.
I only noticed I had done this when droplets of gas begin coming toward me and I had no idea from whence they were coming, until I looked down.
Since that day, when I was prevented from sleeping, I have stayed in the house and have not gone out for any reason. Have not ridden my motorcycle in 3 days.
Although I am hungry, I eat what I have in the house instead of going out. I have not seen a friend or gone to the beach or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon. Or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon.
I think that Monday motorcycle ride was actually traumatic for me. Since then, no good reason to leave the house has occurred to me, except for food. And when I get the urge for food, I just eat what I have, including raw peanuts, spaghetti.
When my orange juice ran out, I started drinking water from the cistern instead of looking for more orange juice.
And now, as I lay in my bed, I do not feel anguish or sadness not anxiety or ambition. There is simply nothing outside of my house that attracts me.
When I get out of bed with the idea of doing anything much, a medication-induced voice in my head says, wouldn't you prefer to go back to bed?
Since there is nothing that I really must do outside, the voice in my head is very persuasive. It is not really a voice. It is a vague tiredness, a disinclination toward activity.
This state of mind has its benefits. I do not want for anything and so I will not be disappointed if I do not get it.
Every need I feel to engage with people, I can meet via the Internet.
I am saving money each day by finding no reason to spend any money. I am in my comfort zone. My bed, the birds and trees and a mint lawn outside my window, my cell phone and social media 2 distract and connect me, and enough food to avoid true hunger.
Even as I write this, my eyes closed and my tendency is to go back to sleep. So, that is precisely what I will do.
I had to go and see a psychiatrist to get a prescription 4 alprazolam which is one of the two agents that helps me to sleep. Even without sleep, I had to go very early in the morning because the psychiatrist only works before 11 a.m..
The ride was very dangerous for me because I was only half awake. At one point I guessed that I was about 70% of asleep, like someone slowly Awakening but drowsy after anesthesia.
My sense of being mostly asleep was confirmed when I put gas in my motorcycle and drove away without putting the cap on the gas tank, but instead leaving the cap connected to the Keys, right in front of me, with the gas tank exposed.
I only noticed I had done this when droplets of gas begin coming toward me and I had no idea from whence they were coming, until I looked down.
Since that day, when I was prevented from sleeping, I have stayed in the house and have not gone out for any reason. Have not ridden my motorcycle in 3 days.
Although I am hungry, I eat what I have in the house instead of going out. I have not seen a friend or gone to the beach or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon. Or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon.
I think that Monday motorcycle ride was actually traumatic for me. Since then, no good reason to leave the house has occurred to me, except for food. And when I get the urge for food, I just eat what I have, including raw peanuts, spaghetti.
When my orange juice ran out, I started drinking water from the cistern instead of looking for more orange juice.
And now, as I lay in my bed, I do not feel anguish or sadness not anxiety or ambition. There is simply nothing outside of my house that attracts me.
When I get out of bed with the idea of doing anything much, a medication-induced voice in my head says, wouldn't you prefer to go back to bed?
Since there is nothing that I really must do outside, the voice in my head is very persuasive. It is not really a voice. It is a vague tiredness, a disinclination toward activity.
This state of mind has its benefits. I do not want for anything and so I will not be disappointed if I do not get it.
Every need I feel to engage with people, I can meet via the Internet.
I am saving money each day by finding no reason to spend any money. I am in my comfort zone. My bed, the birds and trees and a mint lawn outside my window, my cell phone and social media 2 distract and connect me, and enough food to avoid true hunger.
Even as I write this, my eyes closed and my tendency is to go back to sleep. So, that is precisely what I will do.
I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle in front of me.
On Monday of this week, after a night in which I got only four or five hours of sleep, I had to ride an hour on my motorcycle.
I had to go and see a psychiatrist to get a prescription 4 alprazolam which is one of the two agents that helps me to sleep. Even without sleep, I had to go very early in the morning because the psychiatrist only works before 11 a.m..
The ride was very dangerous for me because I was only half awake. At one point I guessed that I was about 70% of asleep, like someone slowly Awakening but drowsy after anesthesia.
My sense of being mostly asleep was confirmed when I put gas in my motorcycle and drove away without putting the cap on the gas tank, but instead leaving the cap connected to the Keys, right in front of me, with the gas tank exposed.
I only noticed I had done this when droplets of gas begin coming toward me and I had no idea from whence they were coming, until I looked down.
Since that day, when I was prevented from sleeping, I have stayed in the house and have not gone out for any reason. Have not ridden my motorcycle in 3 days.
Although I am hungry, I eat what I have in the house instead of going out. I have not seen a friend or gone to the beach or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon. Or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon.
I think that Monday motorcycle ride was actually traumatic for me. Since then, no good reason to leave the house has occurred to me, except for food. And when I get the urge for food, I just eat what I have, including raw peanuts, spaghetti.
When my orange juice ran out, I started drinking water from the cistern instead of looking for more orange juice.
And now, as I lay in my bed, I do not feel anguish or sadness not anxiety or ambition. There is simply nothing outside of my house that attracts me.
When I get out of bed with the idea of doing anything much, a medication-induced voice in my head says, wouldn't you prefer to go back to bed?
Since there is nothing that I really must do outside, the voice in my head is very persuasive. It is not really a voice. It is a vague tiredness, a disinclination toward activity.
This state of mind has its benefits. I do not want for anything and so I will not be disappointed if I do not get it.
Every need I feel to engage with people, I can meet via the Internet.
I am saving money each day by finding no reason to spend any money. I am in my comfort zone. My bed, the birds and trees and a mint lawn outside my window, my cell phone and social media 2 distract and connect me, and enough food to avoid true hunger.
Even as I write this, my eyes closed and my tendency is to go back to sleep. So, that is precisely what I will do.
I had to go and see a psychiatrist to get a prescription 4 alprazolam which is one of the two agents that helps me to sleep. Even without sleep, I had to go very early in the morning because the psychiatrist only works before 11 a.m..
The ride was very dangerous for me because I was only half awake. At one point I guessed that I was about 70% of asleep, like someone slowly Awakening but drowsy after anesthesia.
My sense of being mostly asleep was confirmed when I put gas in my motorcycle and drove away without putting the cap on the gas tank, but instead leaving the cap connected to the Keys, right in front of me, with the gas tank exposed.
I only noticed I had done this when droplets of gas begin coming toward me and I had no idea from whence they were coming, until I looked down.
Since that day, when I was prevented from sleeping, I have stayed in the house and have not gone out for any reason. Have not ridden my motorcycle in 3 days.
Although I am hungry, I eat what I have in the house instead of going out. I have not seen a friend or gone to the beach or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon. Or done any outside activity since Monday afternoon.
I think that Monday motorcycle ride was actually traumatic for me. Since then, no good reason to leave the house has occurred to me, except for food. And when I get the urge for food, I just eat what I have, including raw peanuts, spaghetti.
When my orange juice ran out, I started drinking water from the cistern instead of looking for more orange juice.
And now, as I lay in my bed, I do not feel anguish or sadness not anxiety or ambition. There is simply nothing outside of my house that attracts me.
When I get out of bed with the idea of doing anything much, a medication-induced voice in my head says, wouldn't you prefer to go back to bed?
Since there is nothing that I really must do outside, the voice in my head is very persuasive. It is not really a voice. It is a vague tiredness, a disinclination toward activity.
This state of mind has its benefits. I do not want for anything and so I will not be disappointed if I do not get it.
Every need I feel to engage with people, I can meet via the Internet.
I am saving money each day by finding no reason to spend any money. I am in my comfort zone. My bed, the birds and trees and a mint lawn outside my window, my cell phone and social media 2 distract and connect me, and enough food to avoid true hunger.
Even as I write this, my eyes closed and my tendency is to go back to sleep. So, that is precisely what I will do.
I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle in front of me.
Joined: 08-11-2012