Frustrated- recent cyclothymia diagnosis

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turtlehappy4
May 17, 2009 - 1:53 pm
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turtlehappy4
Total Posts: 2
Joined: 04-15-2009
Ok- so, about a month and a half ago, my therapist and family doc collaborated, and they seem to believe that I may have Cyclothymia. I have been taking Klonopin 0.5mg (as needed 2-3 x p/day), and Buspar 5mg (2 x p/day) to help with this. I have a history of depression, and anxiety with "normal" times mixed in here and there, and some times more elevated moods (but those seem to happen less and less lately). In my teens I got pretty involved with drugs, and was pretty permiscuos (spelling-?). -I messed with drugs back then, because they let me "become someone else".. this new, talkative, brave person, who I WANT to be so very badly.. I cleaned up 10 years ago, and have not touched anything since, and would experience some "ups and downs", but I felt like I could manage them. (during this time, the downs might last for 3 or 4 days, and then would get better.)
I lost my father whom I was very close to about 7 months ago, and I have been up and down ever since... I recently graduated from college with an associates degree, and I should be happy right now, but I find myself feeling like I wish I weren't here... I'm not thinking about suicide or anything- I think that's WRONG, BUT, I just wish I could leave everything, and go......... somewhere..... and start a new life or something.. I feel like I can't hardly breathe at times... When will these feelings get better? I am SO frustrated with feeling like this, and I am disgusted with my stupidity..
I don't know what to do at this point.. Any suggestions?



Current medications as of 05-17-2009
04-10-2009 - Present: Klonopin, 0.5. TID PRN
04-15-2009 - Present: Buspar, 10 mg. twice daily

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turtlehappy4
turtlehappy4
May 17, 2009 - 1:53 pm
Ok- so, about a month and a half ago, my therapist and family doc collaborated, and they seem to believe that I may have Cyclothymia. I have been taking Klonopin 0.5mg (as needed 2-3 x p/day), and Buspar 5mg (2 x p/day) to help with this. I have a history of depression, and anxiety with "normal" times mixed in here and there, and some times more elevated moods (but those seem to happen less and less lately). In my teens I got pretty involved with drugs, and was pretty permiscuos (spelling-?). -I messed with drugs back then, because they let me "become someone else".. this new, talkative, brave person, who I WANT to be so very badly.. I cleaned up 10 years ago, and have not touched anything since, and would experience some "ups and downs", but I felt like I could manage them. (during this time, the downs might last for 3 or 4 days, and then would get better.)
I lost my father whom I was very close to about 7 months ago, and I have been up and down ever since... I recently graduated from college with an associates degree, and I should be happy right now, but I find myself feeling like I wish I weren't here... I'm not thinking about suicide or anything- I think that's WRONG, BUT, I just wish I could leave everything, and go......... somewhere..... and start a new life or something.. I feel like I can't hardly breathe at times... When will these feelings get better? I am SO frustrated with feeling like this, and I am disgusted with my stupidity..
I don't know what to do at this point.. Any suggestions?



Current medications as of 05-17-2009
04-10-2009 - Present: Klonopin, 0.5. TID PRN
04-15-2009 - Present: Buspar, 10 mg. twice daily

Mooky
May 17, 2009 - 8:16 pm
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Mooky
Total Posts: 203
Joined: 01-27-2009
Hey turtle.

I'm afraid there is no quick fix. The answer is to be patient. Keep in touch with your PDOC and TDOC, let them know what you think is helping and what you want more help with then just hang on.

Mental illness isn't an easy thing to treat. You can't just put a cast on it and take some tylenol.
It will take a while before your doctors are able to find the right medications for you.
Until then there are some things that could help.

I know this sounds cliche but eating right and getting good exercise really can help. Getting good, consistent sleep helps to.

Beyond those try, during one of your "normal" times, to make up a plan for what you can do when feeling anxious. It could be to write it out. It could be to take a bath with music playing and just forget the world for a while. It could be to take a walk. What ever you can find that can calm you down is good so the anxiety doesn't get worse and worse.

Same for the depression. See if you can spot triggers for you depressions. Not all are triggered events but most of us have some depressions that are triggered.
For me it's talking to my oldest sister or the smell of ginger (long story)

By noticing these kinds of things you not only learn what to avoid but you can start to feel more in control of things even in a world that isn't totally in your control.

I'm not a psych or anything. I don't even play one on T,V, but I do know that when I've done these things it's helped.
I hope they will help you.



Medications for May 2009
01-27-2009 - Present:Seroquel, 100 mg. 5 per day
01-27-2009 - Present:Synthroid, 200 mcg. once a day 9 am
03-08-2009 - Present:Tegratol, 200mg. 5 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Celexa, 20 mg. 1 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Misc vitamins and minerals, 1 mg. 4 per day
01-27-2009 - Present:Seroquel, 100 mg. 5 per day
01-27-2009 - Present:Synthroid, 200 mcg. once a day 9 am
03-08-2009 - Present:Tegratol, 200mg. 5 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Celexa, 20 mg. 1 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Misc vitamins and minerals, 1 mg. 4 per day
05-13-2009 - Present:Ambian CR, 25.5. PRN

Mooky
Spam? Offensive?
Mooky
Mooky
May 17, 2009 - 8:16 pm
Hey turtle.

I'm afraid there is no quick fix. The answer is to be patient. Keep in touch with your PDOC and TDOC, let them know what you think is helping and what you want more help with then just hang on.

Mental illness isn't an easy thing to treat. You can't just put a cast on it and take some tylenol.
It will take a while before your doctors are able to find the right medications for you.
Until then there are some things that could help.

I know this sounds cliche but eating right and getting good exercise really can help. Getting good, consistent sleep helps to.

Beyond those try, during one of your "normal" times, to make up a plan for what you can do when feeling anxious. It could be to write it out. It could be to take a bath with music playing and just forget the world for a while. It could be to take a walk. What ever you can find that can calm you down is good so the anxiety doesn't get worse and worse.

Same for the depression. See if you can spot triggers for you depressions. Not all are triggered events but most of us have some depressions that are triggered.
For me it's talking to my oldest sister or the smell of ginger (long story)

By noticing these kinds of things you not only learn what to avoid but you can start to feel more in control of things even in a world that isn't totally in your control.

I'm not a psych or anything. I don't even play one on T,V, but I do know that when I've done these things it's helped.
I hope they will help you.



Medications for May 2009
01-27-2009 - Present:Seroquel, 100 mg. 5 per day
01-27-2009 - Present:Synthroid, 200 mcg. once a day 9 am
03-08-2009 - Present:Tegratol, 200mg. 5 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Celexa, 20 mg. 1 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Misc vitamins and minerals, 1 mg. 4 per day
01-27-2009 - Present:Seroquel, 100 mg. 5 per day
01-27-2009 - Present:Synthroid, 200 mcg. once a day 9 am
03-08-2009 - Present:Tegratol, 200mg. 5 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Celexa, 20 mg. 1 per day
04-15-2009 - Present:Misc vitamins and minerals, 1 mg. 4 per day
05-13-2009 - Present:Ambian CR, 25.5. PRN

Mooky
turtlehappy4
May 18, 2009 - 10:01 pm
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turtlehappy4
Total Posts: 2
Joined: 04-15-2009
Hi Mook-
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. It took a lot for me to actually "put my junk out there", so to speak.. I am determined to figure out how to fight this "thing" with all my might. I have 2 little girls and a husband who need me to "get my stuff straight". (too bad there's not a quick fix.. :-)
The thing about the triggers.. you see, social situations (as in being in large crowds) freak me out, but I can't avoid them. (I'm in school, and I also go to a pretty large church, which I love, it's just the # of people all at one time that's my problem.) Then, there's the issue of just feeling like I wish I were someone else.. I just feel like I am doing a crappy job at my life. (great grammar, I know.)
Anyway, thanks for your kind words and advice. I will definately keep trying. The eating and exercise thing I need to work on for sure. (It's one of those things where you know better, you just let other things get in the way.)
God bless.


Spam? Offensive?
turtlehappy4
turtlehappy4
May 18, 2009 - 10:01 pm
Hi Mook-
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. It took a lot for me to actually "put my junk out there", so to speak.. I am determined to figure out how to fight this "thing" with all my might. I have 2 little girls and a husband who need me to "get my stuff straight". (too bad there's not a quick fix.. :-)
The thing about the triggers.. you see, social situations (as in being in large crowds) freak me out, but I can't avoid them. (I'm in school, and I also go to a pretty large church, which I love, it's just the # of people all at one time that's my problem.) Then, there's the issue of just feeling like I wish I were someone else.. I just feel like I am doing a crappy job at my life. (great grammar, I know.)
Anyway, thanks for your kind words and advice. I will definately keep trying. The eating and exercise thing I need to work on for sure. (It's one of those things where you know better, you just let other things get in the way.)
God bless.


Mooky
May 19, 2009 - 8:51 am
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Mooky
Total Posts: 203
Joined: 01-27-2009
Just a quick reply.
Check out your church. Many have a small room in the back for mothers with small children.
I don't know if being around kids is a problem for you but it might let you get away from the large crowd.



Mooky
Spam? Offensive?
Mooky
Mooky
May 19, 2009 - 8:51 am
Just a quick reply.
Check out your church. Many have a small room in the back for mothers with small children.
I don't know if being around kids is a problem for you but it might let you get away from the large crowd.



Mooky
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