Big question marks, please tell something

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mocagrande
May 18, 2013 - 3:47 pm
Spam? Offensive?
mocagrande
Total Posts: 1
Joined: 05-09-2013
Hi everybody, I´m new here and not sure, what´s going on.
1. I started my first job (in newspapers), first months were terrible, and I often found myself going home in tears (often didn´t know why). It was in autumn.

2. In december, things started to be bright, I thought I´m getting used to the job, but actually I was searching for another driven by some kind of excitement mixed with fear to waste my whole life. I sent some applications for another job and also to Carnival Cruise (I wanted to go to a boat as a photographer) and I was studying about it a couple of nights.

3. In january I met a guy, nothing serious, but it mixed me up somehow. He told me, he is BP, and I spent all nights and days studying it on the internet and in bookstores (I can get quite obsessed with things sometimes, it was same in my childhood). In that time I started Citalopram on my own, curios, if it can help my problems with anxiety and migraines. The guy found a girlfriend, which was painfull for a couple of days. But after that, dark times came again. I was not interested in anything, no boat, no travelling, no new job.

4. I went to a psychiatrist. She switched Citalopram to Magrilan (Fluoxetine), because I have bulimia too. After a month of using it and a three days of not enough sleep I started to feel great. I realised it, when I went shopping. It culminated on one Saturday, when I was overconfident, cheeky, couldn´t stop to smile and laugh and hypersexual like NEVER in my life(usually I´m almost frigid :-/) , I needed to help myself 6 times in one afternoon (but I had my periods too).

5. Good times lasted about three weeks, than I started to hate my job and the whole world, was feeling terrible among people and in the street, crying for every bullsh.t, wanted to stay home with my pet. It culminated last weekend, when I was so hopeless, I got some pills to sleep through the biggest part of the day (you can see the high green top on my chart). But even in these sad weeks I had some elevated, happy hours, so I´m confused.

6. Now it´s quite normal, even if I´m not sure, what is normal :-/ My mother doesn´t beleive, I have any psycho problems except bulimia. She has these "everybody is dealing with problems" talk and it make me feel even worse, that I can´t cope :-/ Maybe I´m just hypersensitive or overreacting or incapable, or I feel more "up and low" then I really am...I don´t believe even myself and my feelings.

My psychiatrist knows only my lightly depressed (2 times, and one time normal) "version" and she is confused, that flouxetine is not helping me to feel better. I mentioned my "great mood and hypersexuality", but she was not really interested.

Is it even possible to feel more depressed on "bad days" with fluoxetine?
How much can daily life trigger the mood changes in cyklothymics?
What do you think? (I´m sorry to write so much, sometimes I can´t desrcibe it shorter). Thank you for any suggestions.

P.S. The red dots are for me migraines, not missing medication.



Medications for April 18, 2013 to May 18, 2013
04-27-2013 - Present:Jeanine, 1 mg.1
04-01-2013 - Present:Magrilan, 20 mg.1
04-01-2013 - Present:Magrilan, 20 mg.1

Spam? Offensive?
mocagrande
mocagrande
May 18, 2013 - 3:47 pm
Hi everybody, I´m new here and not sure, what´s going on.
1. I started my first job (in newspapers), first months were terrible, and I often found myself going home in tears (often didn´t know why). It was in autumn.

2. In december, things started to be bright, I thought I´m getting used to the job, but actually I was searching for another driven by some kind of excitement mixed with fear to waste my whole life. I sent some applications for another job and also to Carnival Cruise (I wanted to go to a boat as a photographer) and I was studying about it a couple of nights.

3. In january I met a guy, nothing serious, but it mixed me up somehow. He told me, he is BP, and I spent all nights and days studying it on the internet and in bookstores (I can get quite obsessed with things sometimes, it was same in my childhood). In that time I started Citalopram on my own, curios, if it can help my problems with anxiety and migraines. The guy found a girlfriend, which was painfull for a couple of days. But after that, dark times came again. I was not interested in anything, no boat, no travelling, no new job.

4. I went to a psychiatrist. She switched Citalopram to Magrilan (Fluoxetine), because I have bulimia too. After a month of using it and a three days of not enough sleep I started to feel great. I realised it, when I went shopping. It culminated on one Saturday, when I was overconfident, cheeky, couldn´t stop to smile and laugh and hypersexual like NEVER in my life(usually I´m almost frigid :-/) , I needed to help myself 6 times in one afternoon (but I had my periods too).

5. Good times lasted about three weeks, than I started to hate my job and the whole world, was feeling terrible among people and in the street, crying for every bullsh.t, wanted to stay home with my pet. It culminated last weekend, when I was so hopeless, I got some pills to sleep through the biggest part of the day (you can see the high green top on my chart). But even in these sad weeks I had some elevated, happy hours, so I´m confused.

6. Now it´s quite normal, even if I´m not sure, what is normal :-/ My mother doesn´t beleive, I have any psycho problems except bulimia. She has these "everybody is dealing with problems" talk and it make me feel even worse, that I can´t cope :-/ Maybe I´m just hypersensitive or overreacting or incapable, or I feel more "up and low" then I really am...I don´t believe even myself and my feelings.

My psychiatrist knows only my lightly depressed (2 times, and one time normal) "version" and she is confused, that flouxetine is not helping me to feel better. I mentioned my "great mood and hypersexuality", but she was not really interested.

Is it even possible to feel more depressed on "bad days" with fluoxetine?
How much can daily life trigger the mood changes in cyklothymics?
What do you think? (I´m sorry to write so much, sometimes I can´t desrcibe it shorter). Thank you for any suggestions.

P.S. The red dots are for me migraines, not missing medication.



Medications for April 18, 2013 to May 18, 2013
04-27-2013 - Present:Jeanine, 1 mg.1
04-01-2013 - Present:Magrilan, 20 mg.1
04-01-2013 - Present:Magrilan, 20 mg.1

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