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Living with Major Depressive Disorder

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kerner24
February 21, 2012 - 7:44 pm
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kerner24
Total Posts: 1
Joined: 02-20-2012
Hi,
I am new to the site, and never participated in any online forum. I just want to see if anyone out there is in a similar predicament. I am a 38 yo male, first diagnosed with Major Dep. in 1998, so it's been quite a while. I lived with this thing knowing I will always use medication and doctors/therapists as a crutch but it never occurred to me it could be this bad. 15 months ago, my marriage failed, I gave up my job and my life spiraled out of my control. I find that I cannot work, I ceased contact with my friends and I prefer that my family stay away. I've been denied disability benefits (I'm appealing) and the savings I am living on is running out. I have no insurance and self-paying for doctor and meds. In 14 years I have tried almost every SSRI. My doc put me on Nortriptyline which is a tricyclic drug, but it's not really working. Between constant crying spells, anxiety esp going outside my appartment, restlessness and total inability to enjoy anything at all, life is pretty bleak. I'm pretty desperate, but my doc is a "slow and steady" approach kind of guy. I guess all I can do is hope for the best....
peace, luv


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kerner24
kerner24
February 21, 2012 - 7:44 pm
Hi,
I am new to the site, and never participated in any online forum. I just want to see if anyone out there is in a similar predicament. I am a 38 yo male, first diagnosed with Major Dep. in 1998, so it's been quite a while. I lived with this thing knowing I will always use medication and doctors/therapists as a crutch but it never occurred to me it could be this bad. 15 months ago, my marriage failed, I gave up my job and my life spiraled out of my control. I find that I cannot work, I ceased contact with my friends and I prefer that my family stay away. I've been denied disability benefits (I'm appealing) and the savings I am living on is running out. I have no insurance and self-paying for doctor and meds. In 14 years I have tried almost every SSRI. My doc put me on Nortriptyline which is a tricyclic drug, but it's not really working. Between constant crying spells, anxiety esp going outside my appartment, restlessness and total inability to enjoy anything at all, life is pretty bleak. I'm pretty desperate, but my doc is a "slow and steady" approach kind of guy. I guess all I can do is hope for the best....
peace, luv


Anneinside
February 27, 2012 - 2:16 pm
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Anneinside
Total Posts: 217
Joined: 07-23-2011
I have tried several SSRIs and SNRIs without much long term success. I have never tried a tricyclic but am currently on an MAOI. It is a patch with the brand name Emsam and chemical name of selegiline. You have to follow a fairly strict diet but it seems to be working. The only side effect I have had is dry, red, sometimes itchy skin where the patches have been. I am putting them on different places (I had only put them on my upper arms but now I am putting them on my back also) and am healing.

I don't have any solutions for your life problems but I would suggest a couple of things. See if you can apply for medical assistance from your state since you have no income. If you don't have one, get a therapist/psychologist to help you through your life crises.


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Anneinside
Anneinside
February 27, 2012 - 2:16 pm
I have tried several SSRIs and SNRIs without much long term success. I have never tried a tricyclic but am currently on an MAOI. It is a patch with the brand name Emsam and chemical name of selegiline. You have to follow a fairly strict diet but it seems to be working. The only side effect I have had is dry, red, sometimes itchy skin where the patches have been. I am putting them on different places (I had only put them on my upper arms but now I am putting them on my back also) and am healing.

I don't have any solutions for your life problems but I would suggest a couple of things. See if you can apply for medical assistance from your state since you have no income. If you don't have one, get a therapist/psychologist to help you through your life crises.


okhope
February 27, 2012 - 8:13 pm
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okhope
Total Posts: 110
Joined: 11-12-2011
Hi kerner24,

Sorry to hear about your loses. I managed to get by with my mental health condition until a couple of years ago... I've lost a lot but i've gained some too (like, in awareness, i was in denial about the impact my mental health had on my everyday life...).

Like Annneinside suggested, i'd look into resources at the local level. Before i got on disability i had county insurance, i could see a pdoc and get my meds for $20 a month based on my low income. Not all meds were covered but many were. There are also emergency aide programs and food stamps. Maybe to ease your mind, you could check out your local county offices to ask about these things or do online searches?

I really relate to isolating. When i'm depressed i don't feel like being around anyone, doing anything or having anyone see me. Thing is, isolation and depression feed off each other. It's something i'm still struggling with but i'd encourage you to make some contact with your friends. You don't have to tell them how depressed you are, unless you want to ;) Just catching a movie is a good way to be social without too much talking...

Welcome aboard
Peace & Ease




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okhope
okhope
February 27, 2012 - 8:13 pm
Hi kerner24,

Sorry to hear about your loses. I managed to get by with my mental health condition until a couple of years ago... I've lost a lot but i've gained some too (like, in awareness, i was in denial about the impact my mental health had on my everyday life...).

Like Annneinside suggested, i'd look into resources at the local level. Before i got on disability i had county insurance, i could see a pdoc and get my meds for $20 a month based on my low income. Not all meds were covered but many were. There are also emergency aide programs and food stamps. Maybe to ease your mind, you could check out your local county offices to ask about these things or do online searches?

I really relate to isolating. When i'm depressed i don't feel like being around anyone, doing anything or having anyone see me. Thing is, isolation and depression feed off each other. It's something i'm still struggling with but i'd encourage you to make some contact with your friends. You don't have to tell them how depressed you are, unless you want to ;) Just catching a movie is a good way to be social without too much talking...

Welcome aboard
Peace & Ease




00570123
February 28, 2012 - 8:10 pm
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00570123
Total Posts: 2
Joined: 02-28-2012
Dear kerner24,

An inpatient unit of a hospital where I was treated for Major Depression suggested books by Dr. David D. Burns, M.D. They are widely read and often available at used bookstores and secondhand stores. I recently worked my way through Ten Days to Self-Esteem, also following the suggestions for suggested readings from The Feeling Good Handbook, and Feeling Good. Research has indicated that our feelings and moods are caused by our thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs. Dr. Burns offers many pencil and paper Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exercises to become aware of them and make them more positive. If you work exercises from his books each day, you may begin to see improvement within 4-6 weeks and significant improvement in 4-6 months. One tip: If you just read his books it won't be very effective -- you have to work the exercises with pencil and paper.


Spam? Offensive?
00570123
00570123
February 28, 2012 - 8:10 pm
Dear kerner24,

An inpatient unit of a hospital where I was treated for Major Depression suggested books by Dr. David D. Burns, M.D. They are widely read and often available at used bookstores and secondhand stores. I recently worked my way through Ten Days to Self-Esteem, also following the suggestions for suggested readings from The Feeling Good Handbook, and Feeling Good. Research has indicated that our feelings and moods are caused by our thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs. Dr. Burns offers many pencil and paper Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exercises to become aware of them and make them more positive. If you work exercises from his books each day, you may begin to see improvement within 4-6 weeks and significant improvement in 4-6 months. One tip: If you just read his books it won't be very effective -- you have to work the exercises with pencil and paper.