Desperate for answers. Sleep problems and mental health

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mommyhudgins
November 2, 2016 - 2:03 am
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mommyhudgins
Total Posts: 2
Joined: 11-02-2016
I am so tired, just awoke after 13hours of sleep, child late for school.....again. I am always late. Its nearly impossible to wake up or wake me up. Alarm clocks are of no help. And I don't remember being awaken or the attempts to wake me. I feel like giving up. I am aware that I have nearly every symptom of bipolar disorder, and depression for sure. I have been on antidepressants since I was 14, I am 28 now. Also a history of childhood abuse, PTSD, thyroid problems, and substance abuse. I am a mess, always have been. I try so very hard with no prevail, then at times I just get tired of being tired and give up. One of my biggest issues recently is waking up in the mornings. I have lost ever job I have had due to not being on time. Currently I am a stay at home wife and mother, and I feel I am failing at that I am scared to go to sleep at night due to the fact I know I will not be able to wake up on time the next morning. So sometimes I don't sleep at all. Sometimes I sleep for a couple days. I have tried many alarms, some will not wake me, some I will turn off then go back to sleep. Yes, turning off the alarm knowing I must wake up and not even remembering doing it. So I ask my husband to wake me up, a question many who know me dread. Then I realized I can carry on conversations, appearing to be awake, then fall back to sleep and never remembering that I had been awoken. Many times waking up late to realize my alarm clocks had been turned off, and I had argued and told my husband I was getting up or awake or just to go away before I hurt him. I hate hearing "I tried waking you up, many times, and nothing worked." and I can't ever recollect a thing. I keep waking up late wondering what went wrong, when what's wrong is me. Obviously I need to see a doctor but I cannot afford to see one very often. And I recently cussed out my family doctor. I don't feel its a good idea to visit a walk in clinic, or new doctor, with a long list of problems like mine, many being mental health issues. They will surely think I'm crazy. This has been progressively getting worse. I am always tired. I dread sleep. I dread waking up. I am never on time, nor is my children. My husband is fed up. People think I'm unreliable or irresponsible. Every day I am feeling more hopeless. I have started staying up at night till my daughter gets to school on time, then letting my baby boy sleep in so I can rest a little. Sometimes not getting any rest, and surely ruining my sons sleep schedule. Sometimes staying up till I'm falling asleep sitting up, then going to sleep so exhausted I dont move for 24hours. This cannot go on, I need help. Can any one give some advice or direction. I'm on the road to self destruction.


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mommyhudgins
mommyhudgins
November 2, 2016 - 2:03 am
I am so tired, just awoke after 13hours of sleep, child late for school.....again. I am always late. Its nearly impossible to wake up or wake me up. Alarm clocks are of no help. And I don't remember being awaken or the attempts to wake me. I feel like giving up. I am aware that I have nearly every symptom of bipolar disorder, and depression for sure. I have been on antidepressants since I was 14, I am 28 now. Also a history of childhood abuse, PTSD, thyroid problems, and substance abuse. I am a mess, always have been. I try so very hard with no prevail, then at times I just get tired of being tired and give up. One of my biggest issues recently is waking up in the mornings. I have lost ever job I have had due to not being on time. Currently I am a stay at home wife and mother, and I feel I am failing at that I am scared to go to sleep at night due to the fact I know I will not be able to wake up on time the next morning. So sometimes I don't sleep at all. Sometimes I sleep for a couple days. I have tried many alarms, some will not wake me, some I will turn off then go back to sleep. Yes, turning off the alarm knowing I must wake up and not even remembering doing it. So I ask my husband to wake me up, a question many who know me dread. Then I realized I can carry on conversations, appearing to be awake, then fall back to sleep and never remembering that I had been awoken. Many times waking up late to realize my alarm clocks had been turned off, and I had argued and told my husband I was getting up or awake or just to go away before I hurt him. I hate hearing "I tried waking you up, many times, and nothing worked." and I can't ever recollect a thing. I keep waking up late wondering what went wrong, when what's wrong is me. Obviously I need to see a doctor but I cannot afford to see one very often. And I recently cussed out my family doctor. I don't feel its a good idea to visit a walk in clinic, or new doctor, with a long list of problems like mine, many being mental health issues. They will surely think I'm crazy. This has been progressively getting worse. I am always tired. I dread sleep. I dread waking up. I am never on time, nor is my children. My husband is fed up. People think I'm unreliable or irresponsible. Every day I am feeling more hopeless. I have started staying up at night till my daughter gets to school on time, then letting my baby boy sleep in so I can rest a little. Sometimes not getting any rest, and surely ruining my sons sleep schedule. Sometimes staying up till I'm falling asleep sitting up, then going to sleep so exhausted I dont move for 24hours. This cannot go on, I need help. Can any one give some advice or direction. I'm on the road to self destruction.


mommyhudgins
November 2, 2016 - 2:36 am
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mommyhudgins
Total Posts: 2
Joined: 11-02-2016
After reading all of that I will be surprised if I get any sort of response. But any honest opinions would be appreciated. I have never asked for help like this nor have i wrote on a forum.


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mommyhudgins
mommyhudgins
November 2, 2016 - 2:36 am
After reading all of that I will be surprised if I get any sort of response. But any honest opinions would be appreciated. I have never asked for help like this nor have i wrote on a forum.


divat9107
November 5, 2016 - 4:39 pm
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divat9107
Total Posts: 3
Joined: 11-05-2016
You need to see a doctor ASAP. I have issues sleeping too and it has gotten me in alot of trouble at jobs. In many places there are therapist and psychiatrist that will do reduced cost (sliding scale) to see patients. There are also clinics, which I know you do not want to go to, but the first thing to realize is that if you are not better yourself, then how can you be for others. Take care of you first! You are important! :) Your family loves you and wants you healthy. Find a free clinic or look for some doctors that have a sliding scale or have pro bono patients.

Most community mental health centers have programs in place to allow for a certain number of dollars to go toward treatment for clients who are unable to pay. Others will have a sliding scale that determines your fee based on your income. Hope this helps. My thoughts are with you. You matter! Do not forget that! :0)


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divat9107
divat9107
November 5, 2016 - 4:39 pm
You need to see a doctor ASAP. I have issues sleeping too and it has gotten me in alot of trouble at jobs. In many places there are therapist and psychiatrist that will do reduced cost (sliding scale) to see patients. There are also clinics, which I know you do not want to go to, but the first thing to realize is that if you are not better yourself, then how can you be for others. Take care of you first! You are important! :) Your family loves you and wants you healthy. Find a free clinic or look for some doctors that have a sliding scale or have pro bono patients.

Most community mental health centers have programs in place to allow for a certain number of dollars to go toward treatment for clients who are unable to pay. Others will have a sliding scale that determines your fee based on your income. Hope this helps. My thoughts are with you. You matter! Do not forget that! :0)


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