Recognizing before it's too late...

I'm having a big problem recognizing when I'm anxious until it's too late. I take buspar in the am and pm with xanax as needed, but I don't know HOW to recognize when I'm getting anxious until I'm hyperventilating and feel my heart pounding out of my chest.

I just started the Buspar about 3 weeks ago and it's made a HUGE difference in my day to day levels, I'm not lashing out and I'm not in that severe omg whats going to happen next mind state. Today I missed my am dosage... here it is 1pm the kids and I just came inside and I all of a sudden felt incredibly overwhelmed... I just screamed at the top of my lungs and sat on the kitchen floor sobbing. The kids not knowing why mommy is so upset, sat eating their snack in tears, but are now both napping.

When I collected myself, I took a Xanax... and now I feel horrible, I need to be there for my hubby, who is having a very manic period right now, I have therapy tonight so I'm hoping she can help me recognize it before it's just in my face blowing up...

How does everyone else deal with this? I've had attacks for years and never had any medication help until now, I just dealt with it and locked myself in the bathroom.

How do you recognize "hey I need to stop this now before it's out of control"?

What are your coping mechanisms?

Thanks for any responses! Much Love.

Ami,

It is driving me crazy that no one has responded to you when you were feeling so desperate when you wrote. I am sorry you are in such a difficult place yourself on top of needing to show up for your husband and your children. I think you are being much too tough on yourself. I might sit down in the kitchen and scream in the same situation.

Do You think missing that dose of Buspar not only left you open to an attack, but may have made it even worse than it could have been. Have things settled down now that you are back on schedule?

I wish I could give you some really good strategies for Panic and anxiety. I am rarely able to catch it before it begins. Once it does I try to get somewhere quiet (the less external stimuli the better.) I then use a breathing technique called 4-7-8. You breath in for four seconds, hold for seven seconds and breath out for eight seconds. It seems insurmountable in the beginning, but it does get easier, and I am able to relax eventually. Also the anxiolytic you take works quite quickly so I would take that first thing.

I hope you and your husband are feeling a little better by the time you read this post.

Sending positive and peaceful thoughts your way,

Wendy

Things have most definitely gotten better now that I'm back on schedule. It's nice to know it gets easier, I've noticed that it is getting better day by day, I'm not as anxious through out the day as I was 6 months ago. I can think when I need too, but I feel like a train wreck when it comes on so suddenly.

I've also started to notice a time of day that seems a little more overwhelming than others so maybe taking my Xanax a half hour before might help me through to the next dose of Buspar, I'm going to mention it to my p-doc when I go back.

Thanks for getting back to me! It's not always about getting a response for me, sometimes I just have to get it out. To me, this site is a safe place! People don't judge when I say the things I do, because well, we've all been in similiar situations.

Much love wendy!

I want apologize for being so long before responding, Ami. My experience is similar in that anxiety "gets me" before I recognize it. I know you feel bad about how your symptoms impact others--your kids, your hubby. I think you need to "forgive yourself" because you certainly wouldn't "choose" anxiety any more than your hubby "chooses" his manic episodes. I think that sometimes the judgement that you make about your anxiety just increases it or increases your vigilance and makes it more likely that you will be anxious--like a spiral effect. I like Freefawl's advice about breathing 4-7-8. I am going to try to put it into practice. And I, too, want to learn about how to catch it early--before it "gets me." You are not alone, Ami. Positive and peaceful thoughts coming from me as well.

It's ok Terry, like I said to Wendy sometimes I need to just vent it out and as responses come I take the advice for when the situation occurs again. :)

It's good to know that I'm not the only one that gets creeped up on with this. I'm going to start trying the breathing exercises maybe it can help me begin meditating again.

Much love!

Freefawl (Wendy) I lost it this morning; so I tried your 4/7/8 breathing technique. Well it wasn't quite those numbers because I couldn't remember what they were when I needed them. I was probably doing 4/8/6 or something. I was amazed at how helpful it was! Of course, I will have to remember to use it EVERY time; but I am impressed with how quickly I was feeling less anxious and more in control. Thank you for sharing this technique!

Ami- I haven't been on here in months so I apologize too that you were so miserable before anyone got to you. I understand how that goes- on some other boards I left I was really, really bad and posted and NOBODY responded....

I am going to try the 4-7-8 breathing technique as my anxiety is RIDUCLOUS as well. I'm Bipolar as well, and have an appt with my pdoc Tuesday so I will be asking for not only a mood stabilizer but also an anti-anxiety. There are times when I have no clue WHAT to do about my anxiety- it feels like I'm going to throw up and my heart is racing and I'm crying and I want to run away...even home doesn't feel safe sometimes. I am a self-injurer as well and that doesn't help as a coping mechanism.

I really hope that you improve, Ami..I wish I had better things to say for you but I don't, as I'm in somewhat of the same boat that you are- knowing you're anxiety is out of control before you even knew it started. Maybe trying to figure out your triggers (ie: certian situations, environments, people, etc) and managing those would help, meds are my big huurah but you are already there ;) I will try the breathing technnique with you and see how that goes. I workout regularly so I would also recommend trying that- sometimes that helps reduce my anxiety.

Dear Ami, I just joined this board but I want to share my story because I am so glad to know that I am not alone.

I had no idea what I was experiencing was anxiety for years and years. People would write off my isolating and erratic behavior as selfish and manipulative and that I was "weak". I thought my depression and my freakish responses to seemingly insignificant daily let downs was simply my inability to control my impulses due to what various people thought the best sounding label was at the time (BPD, Anit-social, etc) It wasn't until someone told me that I might have PTSD (as well as bipolar) that my entire life changed. When I started taking Lamictal (Ativan) it literally changed my life and enabled me to do my work without thinking I was about to die and minimized the terror that comes to me every day. These thoughts that I was about to die was something I confused with me wanting suicide. Instead I realize now it was my brain trying to tell my how intolerant it was to certain stimuli due to my PTSD. I have been undergoing counseling and spiritual practices now based on helping my body feel relaxed even when I am terrified. If you don't mind, I would like to share some of my personal coping strategies. I used to be a cross country athlete and also a practicing high school coach. The ways I would instruct my students to heal and prevent injuries I realize I could apply to my own recoveries.

When I was a coach there was a phrase we used to describe treating injury, it is called RICE. Rest Ice Compress Elevate. Strangely I apply this to emotional trauma like so:

Rest - keep your body in a restful state as much as possible in day to day life. Including minimizing daily stress. When you do not rest between stressors, you increase the chance of a muscular (or mental) tear. Feel the calm in your body as much as you can. Train your muscles to relax by practicing tension release (such as clenching fist into balls, then relaxing them, or tapping oneself) Stretch your body and your mind if you can, between daily chores or errands. When a stressful event occurs, plan to take time to recover. When you do not do the things to keep your body rested you body will react and cause you to have a mental or physical (or both) breakdown. Avoid foods that increase cortisol or encourage fast changes in blood-sugar levels or mental state. Caffiene, raw sugar, and any allergens are too be avoided and or if ingested, sparingly so. Eat at regular intervals, and enough to feel full. Never feel hungry for more than an hour. This is hard for me, as I am currently stuck with a really bad sugar addiction, and when I am stressed, I involuntarily starve myself.

Ice - When I stressful reaction occurs. Freeze yourself. Do not make any major decisions, nor move your location, drive, cook, or operate anything that is dangerous. If you are in a place that is a trigger, move, however once you are in a safe place, do nothing. Cancel all appointments. Do not work. Do not talk either, unless to communicate an absolute need. Find yourself the most comfortable position and stay there. Call for help. If you have to communicate, do so slowly, as if you are under anesthetic. (This works I am serious!!!) Tell someone immediately that you must rest. Do your best to also freeze any negative thoughts about yourself or others. THIS IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT. I HAVE LITERALLY PUT MY HEAD IN THE FREEZER AT MY HOME TO REMEMBER THIS POINT. FREEZE YOUR MIND!!

3) Compress. You must force yourself to stay immobile in thought and deed. When you feel something coming out of you like a panic attack coming on, treat it like being sick with the flu. You must avoid over-stimulation of the area that is now in "panic" must be treated like a bruise or a cut. Don't poke it, move it excessively or rub it in someones face (haha). Don't expect it to be healed in one day. Don't think you must perform perfectly right away. Restrict yourself to keeping things simple. These are silly analogies but they work for me! Its sad we have a gung-ho culture, but if you want a full recovery it is absolutely critcal you restrict yourself during the healing process. Do not think that while you are healing and creating new "mental or emotional" "tissue" that you can immediately go about your life with all guns blazing, or without some pain in your movement.

4) Elevate. This one is the most beautiful analogy for me and the one I like to use the most. I take it as bringing the mind to something higher (however its true for muscles as well). Whether you believe in a higher power or not, or whether it makes you feel better to think of a flower, or a loved one, or just your own sense of integrity, or some beautiful memory. I have litterally used this idea to hold my loved one's face as if they are hovering above me and filling me with warmth. I have had to do these things for minutes and hours depending on the severity of my many many attacks. Sometimes, while I am in a depression, it is the hardest thing in the world, and all I was able to think of was a beautiful memory years and years ago. (Which was why I was so depressed, but if you can HOLD IT for as long as you can, that is a great success, I have literally tried to recall the exact smell of the ground and the sound of the wind during really bad attacks) When I was in a very distressed time in my life (read: homeless) I am getting teary just talking about this, but trust in the higher power of a loved one from my past really saved me when I thought my life was over (PS I'm an agnostic/pantheist/universalist so I think of memories and loved ones, but I do believe in a higher power, i just don't have as clear of a picture of it/her/him yet)

None of these 4 things: Rest Ice Compress Elevate are a guarantee to complete recovery, however, (as I learned when I was getting my coaching certificate, litterally this is right out of the National High School Interscholastic Federation Handbook) when you combine these things together you have a much higher chance of returning to complete functionality in whatever part of you is damaged and avoid any future injury as you apply these to your daily life. This is something they made us repeat to our students as well.

Rest is the best way to avoid any injury at all, when an athlete or worker does not rest, that is usually how they get injured (if its not purely an accident) I think of this from a counselors standpoint as how important it is to realize many of us with anxiety disorders simply do not know how to rest. We were not taught, or some trauma made us forget, or its just something we have less ability to do. So. . . practice resting if you can as the number one deterrent.

Ice is the second best way to avoid "serious" injury. When I was a coach, I gave athletes this advice all the time, if anything hurt enough to tell me about it, I told them to ice it when they got home no matter what, and 7 x out of 10 they were fine the next day. So, its similar to STOPPING before causing any more harm. When an athlete or worker is Icing, then a Physical Therapist would at that point tell them to reduce their work load. Icing reduces swelling.

The other one, compression is very good for serious injury and its also the same as restriction of movement. Its the hardest to do, as I am one of those people who likes to pick my scabs etc etc . . (eww . . .sorry) and I am also a motormouth, so in my times of anxiety I can just dig myself into a huge pit of negative self talk. . . .

Lastly, elevate is something that really helps too, but its one of those things that depends on ones own commitment too it. Some coaches I knew in high school said do not elevate, others said yes, do. So before this analogy drives me any crazier with how weirdly it fits into everything, I hope this can help you in a little way.

I used to go "panic-blind" my anxieties were so bad, just so you know, that means I would literally go blind for a few minutes at a time. Now I do these kinds of short mantras for myself. Like RICE RICE RICE or FREEZE FREEZE FREEZE and over time, they trigger the correct behavior that minimizes the damage and the level of crisis.

God bless and good luck.

Sorry ami, your very first question, regarding how to notice, is something that will happen as you begin to implement more prevention strategies in your life as I suggested above. If you do not follow RICE follow some other plan. You should keep a journal or recall as best you can, the events leading up to and during an attack. Counseling is good however, counselors are/should be like the vehicles, you are the driver who is the only one who can discover what is really going on inside you. The more you pay attention to how your body feels throughout the day, and how the tension builds to the breaking point then you can stop it. If you aren't at a baseline and you are in an injury mode- then I highly highly suggest RICE (REST ICE COMPRESS ELEVATE) until you are calm enough and rested enough in your mind to begin to recall the events that occurred. I highly highly recommend you write down or talk to a counselor about how your panic attacks start. I just also realized now that Elevate can also refer to finding a person with higher credentials to help you discover your triggers, allergies (food allergies are a huge hidden trigger BTW, I had a friend with celiacs disease who was psychotic until he found out about his allergies), and past traumas. Love!

And lastly, and for heavens sake this is it, but I have to write this to you because I sense that you are very similar to me in that you are very high-functioning most of the time, and then you are like a burning candle that burns itself out.

Your stressors (and that means the work you do in your daily life, because all actions are stressors that tear muscles and build strength) sort of add up but you are frightened of stopping, also you possibly just don't feel the pain in your body because as a child you were taught not to acknowledge those feelings and like me that if you do that is "wrong" and "weak"

So, acknowledge the pain you feel most of all, and lower your expectations or ambitions or they will eat you and turn you inside out.

My mom, for example, is bipolar 2 with other problems including BPD, she has really poor ability to acknowledge she is in pain at all, even when she needs stitches and she's gushing blood right in front of me. She was very high functionin in her job until last year, she was hospitalized 4 times and it was like the bubble finally burst, I don't want that to happen to me EVER. So this matches the Rest and Compress analogy. In order to apply these skills, you have to look at yourself and your life, and as you do, you will discover what you need and so forth . . . Best of luck!!

Oh my, Stormyrain! That group of postings left me with my mouth hanging open. Incredible story and very useful analogies. I continue to be amazed by the commonality I have with others on this site. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom here. Rice rice rice rice.
I have tried Freefawl's breathing technique and found it to be helpful, also--another strategy in this bouquet of help from those truly in the know about what we are going through. Peace to you. Peace to all of us.

So, I've been trying Wendy's breathing technique and depending on the situation at hand it does work, when I'm able to escape and take myself out of the situation.

I'm still processing everything Stormy has written, my ADD goes nuts trying to read and think at the same time, lol.

I had a p-doc appointment yesterday and they increased my buspar to 10mg twice a day and my lexapro to 20mg daily. he said hopefully once i start to level out he cant cut back on my xanax (he's keeping me at .5 three times a day as needed). I have noticed that things are beginning to balance out.

Last evening, for no reason I am able to recognize, I found myself headed into a near panic attack. My heart was beating like crazy, and all of the uncomfortable stuff that comes along with an adrenaline rush started in my body. My mind was jumping around from thought to thought--trying to figure out what was happening and why. Then I remembered freefawl's breathing technique. I forced myself to focus on my breathing--drawing in a slow breath, holding it for a few seconds, and breathing slowly out--making sure to make the outflow slower and longer than the intake. It took me somewhere between 7 and 10 breaths to feel like I was calming down--and then another 7-10 breaths to feel like I was in control again. Not too shabby, all-in-all. So, I didn't really get out ahead of it; but closer to the beginning. And once again I am amazed at the influence of breathing on the way I feel. I am not trained in meditation; but I think that focus on breathing is an important part. If you really struggle with anxiety, this technique is really worth a try. In to the count of 7, hold for the count of 4, out to the count of 8. I am not sure these numbers are absolutely correct; but they worked for me.

Stormyrain23, I just read your post again, too. Sadly, I did not think of it last night. Re-reading it today was a good reminder, though. I am going to RICE it starting now.

I really appreciate the help the postings in this forum give me. Thank you all. Terry

Hi Ami,

I realised that you original post is nearly a month old but I've just joined tonight and have been exploring the forum section.

Have you tried the technique of mindfulness?

It's an Eastern technique being embraced more and more by Western psychology. Dr Russ Harris wrote a book called The Happiness Trap which prominently features mindfulness. The idea is being aware of the Now and in particularly how you are feeling Now. I've applied this quite successfully. When I sense a looming mood downswing I apply strategies to lessen the effects of even arrest the swing before it fully takes hold. My strategies might be "no-news-week" where I avoid reading newspapers and watching the news on TV. This is usually combined with favourite-movie-week where I watch old favourite movies particularly comedy to elevate my moods. It works for me.

Anyway, this is my 2 cents worth. Take care.

Gavin