Hey guys, I'm new on this site but I recently read about "soft bipolar" and i almost cried at how much it sounded like me.
When I was very young.... starting like age 6 or 7.. i was always soooo anxious... so much that I would get severe stomach pain that made me crawl under tables, curl into a little ball, and cry for hours. By the time I was out of high school, I was suffering severe anxiety and stress so when I was about 20 my doctor actually took me out of work for 2 months and put me on anti depressants. They helped a lot at the time. I've had to switch kinds like 4 times tho because a lot of them were giving me really horrible night terrors. Now I'm on Effexor... BUT the past 6 months have been really hard for me. My moods are just ALL OVER the place. I can be soooo happy one moment but really hyper... like almost out of my body kinda hyper, the next thing, someone drives too slow or looks at me weird, and i'm so mad that I'm actually shaking uncontrollably. Sometimes for no reason I get a fit of anger and i feel like the only way to get the energy out of my body is to hit something like a wall. I even took to biting my arm to get the tension out of my body....! I feel like I'm losing my mind. Then there's the other end where I'm so sad I just wanna sleep and i want everyone to leave me alone. It's been like this for a consistent week or so now.... (it happens a lot but its really bad this time) I'm soo sad and hopeless all the time and feel like such a failure. But then also i sometimes have mixed days where im over joyous one moment, and crying the next. Its scaring the heck outta my mom and me. :( I just dont know what to do. I've also taken to my old habits of restricting food again.... which Im sure isnt helping my mood but still.... i just dont know what to do. I'm scared to go to the doctor cuz I dont even know what to say to them. Help me someone please before i lose my mind.