Over the last two years I let a vile addiction ruin my life and I did nothing but stand by and watch it happen. I lost my partner and almost lost my son and my home recently until I started to try and get help.
Accepting the reality of what I had done and not being stubborn anymore, listening to how I was making people feel and not thinking I was right about everything.
I may never get back what I've lost, but I just want to be a good dad to my son, as I don't want to be like my own dad and be entirely absent.
Does the pain of loving someone who you lost because of your own stupid actions ever go away? Will there ever be a time I no longer hate myself for what I've done.
Nothing is making me feel better the way I want it to, I just wish that I had listened to what I was being told almost every day for the last few years