ARE THESE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

I go and see my Pdoc tomorrow and I was just wondering if I tell him that I am wondering which I am if I were to die would it devastate my husband and son would they miss me, am I needed in their lives. I have asked my son if I died from one of my medical conditions would he be able to handle it and he said he would really really be sad if either of his parents died so I better not die. I am wondering if my Pdoc thinks I am suicidal will he call the police and have me put in the hospital plz advise asap before I open my big mouth

Hi there!
Yes - what you're experiencing would be classed as suicidal ideation.
It depends on the doc - he will perform a risk assessment (like have you planned anything) and in cases where you may be deemed high risk (so likely to engage in suicidal behaviour) he may notify someone.
It is better off telling someone so that you can get the best support you need during these times.
Suicidal ideation can range from thinking vaguely about wanting to die...to planning out a specific time and date to suicide. It is better to let someone know just incase the thoughts get worse.
:o) Keep us updated for support. It sounds like you're going through quite a rough patch...

I have just lost my father in May the 14th and I was a daddy's girl big time and yes I am 44 yrs old but that never changes. I have not worked except subbing here and there at local highschools because your allowed to make so much while you are on SSA under the radar and I do it to get me out of the house and help out financially since I feel worthless now since the job I used to have I brought in double what I am getting on disability SSA. I just feel like they can do much better without me with all these mood changes and I don't want my son to remember me as the crazy mom even though he is 18yrs old I want him to remember me in a wonderful way. I feel my husband is working his butt off which he is and its a very physical job and all I do is keep the household stuff running like paying the bills and keeping the house clean and making doctors appts etc and watching tv while I stare at this memorial of my father I made in my chaise room I miss him soooo much I just want to hear his voice one last time .... I don't want to die in order to do it though, what do I do I don't want to tell my pdoc and then he not let me leave that would be really really embarrasing

I told my pdoc that i had thoughts in my head- "i want to die i want to die i want to die", but that I didn't have a plan. That it was literally a thought that just interrupts my daily activities for no reason. He didn't admit me; i've fairly certain because he did a thorough exam and found that i wasn't at risk.

There are certain things that indicate the severity of suicidalness. I can say that for the most part, you are likely to not be hospitalized. I have been much worse, and not been.

Saying that, you need to mention it to your dr. Tell him/her everything. That way, an accurate assessment can be done, and then if things change for better or worse, there is something to go off of.

If you tell your pdoc they will ask if you want to hurt yourself right now. What ever
you tell them will decide if they Admit. you or not. Don't play around with it unless you want to be taken into custody by a police officer and then be put on 24/7 suicide watch.

Yes I do believe you are having suicidal ideations, and in all reality it would devastate your son, that's the only thing that really has kept me here when I've felt that way. But I ALWAYS tell someone, usually my husband who watches me til my dr appt. these two times in OCT I had a dr appt 2 days away so I held on til then.

In my case I was at my therapists office two days after I had thoughts of taking a bunch of pills and then running my car off the bridge. ok, that was just a bit too detailed for her and she was afraid I'd do it on impulse, not because I had a date or time. she didn't admit me anywhere, but she told me she wanted me to go to the hospital and I did, I chose which hospital I wanted to go to.I didn't go by police or ambulance or any of that. I went home got my stuff together and my husband drove me there. I had my own blanket and pillow, I wore my own clothes and spent everyday with a structured group or meal time.
I was however released too soon the first time, a week later I was back but then I got much better that time and am doing ok, not great, but not suicidal either.

I think you should take the initiative yourself to go in. That way you can get help without the stigma of having to be put in. The S.I. is there and I think you should tell whomever. I think we all put a stigma lens on ourselves when it comes time for such drastic help, but you have to think about it like this... If you were a diabetic and you knew your oral meds weren't helping any more and you may need to be reassessed, woukd you keep putting that off? Our mental problems are a disease just like any other. And instead of say waiting to go in a diabetic coma, like in my diabetes analogy, you need to see that your S.I. needs addressed so you don't become worse. I've heard that the more crises we put ourselves into the more it damages our brain pathways.

You're a good person and you need to be around. Please consider getting the help.

Lorilei

I totally agree with what others are saying. I've felt suicidal and have said something to my prior pdoc and never got admitted to the hospital. Now, unfortunately, we don't have a psychiatric hospital close by.

With me, I wanted to jump in front of a moving vehicle, preferrably a big one like a bus or big rig. I heard voices telling me to. I was able to keep it together enough not to untii I saw my pdoc.

Hey HoneyB.

In this post and many others you mention your father's recent death and how much you miss him ~ you have a great love for him and the pain of his loss seems like it will never go away ~ and, oddly enough, you may even be hangng on to your grief because to let some o it go lets go of some of your father. At least that is what happened to me when I Dad died 10 years ago. Please talk to you therapist about the pain you are in because of your loss.

It is easy to understand why you believe your family would be better off without you ~ you are not well at the moment. Please let you hubby and pdoc k ow what you are feeling as you need help and they will help you receive that help.

Regarding your son missing you ~ HE WILL MISS YOU and he will not understand that you didn't love him enough to stay ~ trust me, a child (no matter the age) cannot just say goodbye, weep, and just get on with his lives.

I hope you can get the help you need to find peace and recovery from the death of your father for then you will discover the memories held so deep within you that the pain of his loss is overshadowed by the joy of your memories.

Let us know how you are doing and love yourself like your Daddy loved his little girl.

I've been to the psych ward in handcuffs and out of handcuffs. I can safely tell you that having vague suicidal ideation is usually not enough to hospitalize people on. A good many depressed people have suicidal ideation. Hell, even on a good day I have suicidal ideation. I've just learned to cope with it. There's also a real difference between occasionally contemplating suicide and having active plans. It's where you fall on the spectrum that will determine if you get hospitalized. But most doctors would much rather have you go to the hospital of your own volition. It's a hassle to get the cops involved, and quite frankly, wearing handcuffs is not the most comfortable thing in the world. And for some people it can be embarassing.