Was this a manic-type episode?
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January 31, 2017 - 5:02 pm
In the past, I believe i have only been hypomanic and extremely irritable, I had a mixed episode a few years back that put me in the hospital for a short time.
Something different happened last week. I was completely euphoric. I felt so 'high', I was just ecstatic. I think of the scene from titanic, "I'm the king of the world." lol I felt like I was on a roller coaster at high speed. I felt that feeling you feel when you are about to laugh and you are trying to hold back, that feeling for about 2 or 3 days. I felt compelled to write poetry and craft incessantly. I slept a full 7 hours most of those nights, but I woke early and kept feeling compelled to go shopping despite my other responsibilities because I needed to get things to fit the persona I felt I was those days (I felt 17 like a celebrity, although I am in my thirties, over did my makeup and hair and dressed a bit more fashionably than the usual). I bought a domain for a website because I was going to start writing and make money off affiliate ads. Then I felt I needed some designer bags to put my laptop in so I could go write at coffee shops (I don't even drink coffee or go to coffee shops). The compulsion to shop lasted a few days, and the last 3 days I spent a total of about 800 dollars, and my budget was honestly 0. I bought lingerie, which I haven't bought in ages. I went to stores picking up so many things they would fall out of my hands. Salespeople came to help and then I felt a little embarrassed, but ended up going on to check out because I realized maybe it seemed a little bizarre. People usually don't buy multiple designer bags at once I assume. Then when my husband had his friend over, I became really involved in some philosophical debate and spent the whole evening convincing them of my beliefs. I felt at first they were interested and they eventually tuned me out but I kept going. My husband was concerned that I was talking too fast. I went to bed on time, but then I woke up at 3:30 the following morning. I felt fidgety and my husband woke up complaining that I should get some sleep. I laid there wide awake, fidgeting and knowing I should be sleeping. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was ecstatic and full of ideas for the day. They were coming so fast I couldn't catch them. I went downstairs and washed the dishes, came up and cleaned the bathroom, and ironed all my husband's shirts within an hours time. I was amazed at my productivity, and felt invigorated to keep going. So I sewed and mended shirts for a couple hours. Finally my husband woke up and said he was worried. I was offended because I was being so productive and doing no harm. He talked me into going down to have breakfast with him. I was cooking at full speed, chopping and cutting and flipping food lightning fast. Laughing loudly without a reason. Pacing around. I felt like electric currents were running from my shoulders to my fingertips. This happened other days too. Then my teeth began chattering and I began trembling slightly. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, like I was so ecstatic that my body couldn't contain it. I felt compelled to take some anxiety meds because it was getting quite uncomfortable. My husband asked me to do exercise for 20 mins with him, and if it didn't help, then I should take something. Thankfully it did. The shopping continued. I was driving by myself and people kept honking their horns at me. I got really frustrated as I couldn't understand why these idiots wouldn't get out of my way. I now see that they had the right of way. My judgment was off. And the whole time all this was going on I had intrusive thoughts and moments where I felt I was going to 'word vomit' inappropriate things. I could go on but I was just wondering is this just a person being excited? Honestly I don't feel like I was impaired until the spending. But I shop quite a bit when not in this mood. Ok not hundreds though. I don't know, am I over analyzing? would love some input. Thanks.
Something different happened last week. I was completely euphoric. I felt so 'high', I was just ecstatic. I think of the scene from titanic, "I'm the king of the world." lol I felt like I was on a roller coaster at high speed. I felt that feeling you feel when you are about to laugh and you are trying to hold back, that feeling for about 2 or 3 days. I felt compelled to write poetry and craft incessantly. I slept a full 7 hours most of those nights, but I woke early and kept feeling compelled to go shopping despite my other responsibilities because I needed to get things to fit the persona I felt I was those days (I felt 17 like a celebrity, although I am in my thirties, over did my makeup and hair and dressed a bit more fashionably than the usual). I bought a domain for a website because I was going to start writing and make money off affiliate ads. Then I felt I needed some designer bags to put my laptop in so I could go write at coffee shops (I don't even drink coffee or go to coffee shops). The compulsion to shop lasted a few days, and the last 3 days I spent a total of about 800 dollars, and my budget was honestly 0. I bought lingerie, which I haven't bought in ages. I went to stores picking up so many things they would fall out of my hands. Salespeople came to help and then I felt a little embarrassed, but ended up going on to check out because I realized maybe it seemed a little bizarre. People usually don't buy multiple designer bags at once I assume. Then when my husband had his friend over, I became really involved in some philosophical debate and spent the whole evening convincing them of my beliefs. I felt at first they were interested and they eventually tuned me out but I kept going. My husband was concerned that I was talking too fast. I went to bed on time, but then I woke up at 3:30 the following morning. I felt fidgety and my husband woke up complaining that I should get some sleep. I laid there wide awake, fidgeting and knowing I should be sleeping. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was ecstatic and full of ideas for the day. They were coming so fast I couldn't catch them. I went downstairs and washed the dishes, came up and cleaned the bathroom, and ironed all my husband's shirts within an hours time. I was amazed at my productivity, and felt invigorated to keep going. So I sewed and mended shirts for a couple hours. Finally my husband woke up and said he was worried. I was offended because I was being so productive and doing no harm. He talked me into going down to have breakfast with him. I was cooking at full speed, chopping and cutting and flipping food lightning fast. Laughing loudly without a reason. Pacing around. I felt like electric currents were running from my shoulders to my fingertips. This happened other days too. Then my teeth began chattering and I began trembling slightly. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, like I was so ecstatic that my body couldn't contain it. I felt compelled to take some anxiety meds because it was getting quite uncomfortable. My husband asked me to do exercise for 20 mins with him, and if it didn't help, then I should take something. Thankfully it did. The shopping continued. I was driving by myself and people kept honking their horns at me. I got really frustrated as I couldn't understand why these idiots wouldn't get out of my way. I now see that they had the right of way. My judgment was off. And the whole time all this was going on I had intrusive thoughts and moments where I felt I was going to 'word vomit' inappropriate things. I could go on but I was just wondering is this just a person being excited? Honestly I don't feel like I was impaired until the spending. But I shop quite a bit when not in this mood. Ok not hundreds though. I don't know, am I over analyzing? would love some input. Thanks.
In the past, I believe i have only been hypomanic and extremely irritable, I had a mixed episode a few years back that put me in the hospital for a short time.
Something different happened last week. I was completely euphoric. I felt so 'high', I was just ecstatic. I think of the scene from titanic, "I'm the king of the world." lol I felt like I was on a roller coaster at high speed. I felt that feeling you feel when you are about to laugh and you are trying to hold back, that feeling for about 2 or 3 days. I felt compelled to write poetry and craft incessantly. I slept a full 7 hours most of those nights, but I woke early and kept feeling compelled to go shopping despite my other responsibilities because I needed to get things to fit the persona I felt I was those days (I felt 17 like a celebrity, although I am in my thirties, over did my makeup and hair and dressed a bit more fashionably than the usual). I bought a domain for a website because I was going to start writing and make money off affiliate ads. Then I felt I needed some designer bags to put my laptop in so I could go write at coffee shops (I don't even drink coffee or go to coffee shops). The compulsion to shop lasted a few days, and the last 3 days I spent a total of about 800 dollars, and my budget was honestly 0. I bought lingerie, which I haven't bought in ages. I went to stores picking up so many things they would fall out of my hands. Salespeople came to help and then I felt a little embarrassed, but ended up going on to check out because I realized maybe it seemed a little bizarre. People usually don't buy multiple designer bags at once I assume. Then when my husband had his friend over, I became really involved in some philosophical debate and spent the whole evening convincing them of my beliefs. I felt at first they were interested and they eventually tuned me out but I kept going. My husband was concerned that I was talking too fast. I went to bed on time, but then I woke up at 3:30 the following morning. I felt fidgety and my husband woke up complaining that I should get some sleep. I laid there wide awake, fidgeting and knowing I should be sleeping. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was ecstatic and full of ideas for the day. They were coming so fast I couldn't catch them. I went downstairs and washed the dishes, came up and cleaned the bathroom, and ironed all my husband's shirts within an hours time. I was amazed at my productivity, and felt invigorated to keep going. So I sewed and mended shirts for a couple hours. Finally my husband woke up and said he was worried. I was offended because I was being so productive and doing no harm. He talked me into going down to have breakfast with him. I was cooking at full speed, chopping and cutting and flipping food lightning fast. Laughing loudly without a reason. Pacing around. I felt like electric currents were running from my shoulders to my fingertips. This happened other days too. Then my teeth began chattering and I began trembling slightly. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, like I was so ecstatic that my body couldn't contain it. I felt compelled to take some anxiety meds because it was getting quite uncomfortable. My husband asked me to do exercise for 20 mins with him, and if it didn't help, then I should take something. Thankfully it did. The shopping continued. I was driving by myself and people kept honking their horns at me. I got really frustrated as I couldn't understand why these idiots wouldn't get out of my way. I now see that they had the right of way. My judgment was off. And the whole time all this was going on I had intrusive thoughts and moments where I felt I was going to 'word vomit' inappropriate things. I could go on but I was just wondering is this just a person being excited? Honestly I don't feel like I was impaired until the spending. But I shop quite a bit when not in this mood. Ok not hundreds though. I don't know, am I over analyzing? would love some input. Thanks.
Something different happened last week. I was completely euphoric. I felt so 'high', I was just ecstatic. I think of the scene from titanic, "I'm the king of the world." lol I felt like I was on a roller coaster at high speed. I felt that feeling you feel when you are about to laugh and you are trying to hold back, that feeling for about 2 or 3 days. I felt compelled to write poetry and craft incessantly. I slept a full 7 hours most of those nights, but I woke early and kept feeling compelled to go shopping despite my other responsibilities because I needed to get things to fit the persona I felt I was those days (I felt 17 like a celebrity, although I am in my thirties, over did my makeup and hair and dressed a bit more fashionably than the usual). I bought a domain for a website because I was going to start writing and make money off affiliate ads. Then I felt I needed some designer bags to put my laptop in so I could go write at coffee shops (I don't even drink coffee or go to coffee shops). The compulsion to shop lasted a few days, and the last 3 days I spent a total of about 800 dollars, and my budget was honestly 0. I bought lingerie, which I haven't bought in ages. I went to stores picking up so many things they would fall out of my hands. Salespeople came to help and then I felt a little embarrassed, but ended up going on to check out because I realized maybe it seemed a little bizarre. People usually don't buy multiple designer bags at once I assume. Then when my husband had his friend over, I became really involved in some philosophical debate and spent the whole evening convincing them of my beliefs. I felt at first they were interested and they eventually tuned me out but I kept going. My husband was concerned that I was talking too fast. I went to bed on time, but then I woke up at 3:30 the following morning. I felt fidgety and my husband woke up complaining that I should get some sleep. I laid there wide awake, fidgeting and knowing I should be sleeping. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was ecstatic and full of ideas for the day. They were coming so fast I couldn't catch them. I went downstairs and washed the dishes, came up and cleaned the bathroom, and ironed all my husband's shirts within an hours time. I was amazed at my productivity, and felt invigorated to keep going. So I sewed and mended shirts for a couple hours. Finally my husband woke up and said he was worried. I was offended because I was being so productive and doing no harm. He talked me into going down to have breakfast with him. I was cooking at full speed, chopping and cutting and flipping food lightning fast. Laughing loudly without a reason. Pacing around. I felt like electric currents were running from my shoulders to my fingertips. This happened other days too. Then my teeth began chattering and I began trembling slightly. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, like I was so ecstatic that my body couldn't contain it. I felt compelled to take some anxiety meds because it was getting quite uncomfortable. My husband asked me to do exercise for 20 mins with him, and if it didn't help, then I should take something. Thankfully it did. The shopping continued. I was driving by myself and people kept honking their horns at me. I got really frustrated as I couldn't understand why these idiots wouldn't get out of my way. I now see that they had the right of way. My judgment was off. And the whole time all this was going on I had intrusive thoughts and moments where I felt I was going to 'word vomit' inappropriate things. I could go on but I was just wondering is this just a person being excited? Honestly I don't feel like I was impaired until the spending. But I shop quite a bit when not in this mood. Ok not hundreds though. I don't know, am I over analyzing? would love some input. Thanks.
January 31, 2017 - 8:45 pm
Total Posts: 868
Joined: 06-12-2011
Joined: 06-12-2011
Gee I could have written your post! Especially the designer bags and gearing up to do something that you don't really do normally, such as writing. :) Definitely you seem to have hypomania or mania. I would call your pdoc before it turns ugly, which it can on a dime. For me I can become quite violent and actually dangerous. So please, get some med evaluation/adjustment and perhaps back it up with a therapy visit too. You can learn to identify mood changes and head them off before disaster strikes.
Do you have a pdoc and tdoc? Cannot tell from your post.
Do you have a pdoc and tdoc? Cannot tell from your post.
Gee I could have written your post! Especially the designer bags and gearing up to do something that you don't really do normally, such as writing. :) Definitely you seem to have hypomania or mania. I would call your pdoc before it turns ugly, which it can on a dime. For me I can become quite violent and actually dangerous. So please, get some med evaluation/adjustment and perhaps back it up with a therapy visit too. You can learn to identify mood changes and head them off before disaster strikes.
Do you have a pdoc and tdoc? Cannot tell from your post.
Do you have a pdoc and tdoc? Cannot tell from your post.
February 1, 2017 - 5:50 am
Total Posts: 110
Joined: 08-02-2011
Joined: 08-02-2011
Artista,
Thanks for the feedback. Yes I have both. I called my pdoc after I spent all the money and my husband helped me return it and encouraged me to call. They adjusted my med right away and I am scheduled to see her soon. I see the tdoc today after a 7 month hiatus. Feeling a lil nervous to reveal the info because the last time I went it was for anxiety, so this may be embarassing lol.
Thanks for the feedback. Yes I have both. I called my pdoc after I spent all the money and my husband helped me return it and encouraged me to call. They adjusted my med right away and I am scheduled to see her soon. I see the tdoc today after a 7 month hiatus. Feeling a lil nervous to reveal the info because the last time I went it was for anxiety, so this may be embarassing lol.
Artista,
Thanks for the feedback. Yes I have both. I called my pdoc after I spent all the money and my husband helped me return it and encouraged me to call. They adjusted my med right away and I am scheduled to see her soon. I see the tdoc today after a 7 month hiatus. Feeling a lil nervous to reveal the info because the last time I went it was for anxiety, so this may be embarassing lol.
Thanks for the feedback. Yes I have both. I called my pdoc after I spent all the money and my husband helped me return it and encouraged me to call. They adjusted my med right away and I am scheduled to see her soon. I see the tdoc today after a 7 month hiatus. Feeling a lil nervous to reveal the info because the last time I went it was for anxiety, so this may be embarassing lol.
February 2, 2017 - 7:41 pm
Total Posts: 868
Joined: 06-12-2011
Joined: 06-12-2011
Your husband sounds like a nice guy. Like mine, he seems to be the voice of reason for you.
I hope you are feeling better with a med change. I bet your tdoc won't be shocked. But I know I get embarrassed about mood swings with my pdoc or tdoc. I hate to come off as neurotic.
I hope you are feeling better with a med change. I bet your tdoc won't be shocked. But I know I get embarrassed about mood swings with my pdoc or tdoc. I hate to come off as neurotic.
Your husband sounds like a nice guy. Like mine, he seems to be the voice of reason for you.
I hope you are feeling better with a med change. I bet your tdoc won't be shocked. But I know I get embarrassed about mood swings with my pdoc or tdoc. I hate to come off as neurotic.
I hope you are feeling better with a med change. I bet your tdoc won't be shocked. But I know I get embarrassed about mood swings with my pdoc or tdoc. I hate to come off as neurotic.
February 3, 2017 - 2:18 pm
Total Posts: 110
Joined: 08-02-2011
Joined: 08-02-2011
Yes, where would we be without them? I don't know where I'd be without God leading me, and my husband's patience and love. I feel for him so much. Sometimes I feel guilty that he is stuck with me. :( I haven't been able to have a child and may not ever be able to. And then he deals with the unpredictability of me: which wife will be there when he gets home? :( I am immensely undeserving.....
Anyway, I am starting to feel better. I did have two days after the med change where I believe I was experiencing some dysphoric mania. I woke up at 3 AM pacing around the house in the dark, having intrusive homicidal thoughts, and then sobbing because they wouldn't go away. Thankfully, it resolved itself in a day or so. Definitely reported that to the tdoc.
When I went to see him, I reported everything and didn't hold back, although I also mentioned I felt ridiculously embarrassed telling him all those things! YOU WERE RIGHT...he wasn't shocked. Or judgmental. Just 100% empathetic.
Experiencing the comfort I feel in therapy is exactly why I am working on my own counseling degree.
Anyway, he diagnosed me (provisionally) with bipolar 2. All the other times I would see pdoc/tdoc they would just say 'well probably bipolar spectrum in some form.' Nice to finally be heard and have some clarity. He said that once we work on things it should become more predictable/manageable....I'm still a little skeptical about that. Thoughts?
And....I think I am still a little hypomanic. I had that intensely euphoric feeling again last night, which I have experienced very rarely in life, despite last week and last night. Maybe this rare bliss will become the new baseline. hahahahaha I can dream...
And I just realized I have a lot of tangents in my post.
But seriously, hypomanic is good if we aren't harming anyone, right? I haven't gone shopping because I know what happened last time. Maybe I'm doing better!? Hopeful!
Anyway, I am starting to feel better. I did have two days after the med change where I believe I was experiencing some dysphoric mania. I woke up at 3 AM pacing around the house in the dark, having intrusive homicidal thoughts, and then sobbing because they wouldn't go away. Thankfully, it resolved itself in a day or so. Definitely reported that to the tdoc.
When I went to see him, I reported everything and didn't hold back, although I also mentioned I felt ridiculously embarrassed telling him all those things! YOU WERE RIGHT...he wasn't shocked. Or judgmental. Just 100% empathetic.
Experiencing the comfort I feel in therapy is exactly why I am working on my own counseling degree.
Anyway, he diagnosed me (provisionally) with bipolar 2. All the other times I would see pdoc/tdoc they would just say 'well probably bipolar spectrum in some form.' Nice to finally be heard and have some clarity. He said that once we work on things it should become more predictable/manageable....I'm still a little skeptical about that. Thoughts?
And....I think I am still a little hypomanic. I had that intensely euphoric feeling again last night, which I have experienced very rarely in life, despite last week and last night. Maybe this rare bliss will become the new baseline. hahahahaha I can dream...
And I just realized I have a lot of tangents in my post.
But seriously, hypomanic is good if we aren't harming anyone, right? I haven't gone shopping because I know what happened last time. Maybe I'm doing better!? Hopeful!
Yes, where would we be without them? I don't know where I'd be without God leading me, and my husband's patience and love. I feel for him so much. Sometimes I feel guilty that he is stuck with me. :( I haven't been able to have a child and may not ever be able to. And then he deals with the unpredictability of me: which wife will be there when he gets home? :( I am immensely undeserving.....
Anyway, I am starting to feel better. I did have two days after the med change where I believe I was experiencing some dysphoric mania. I woke up at 3 AM pacing around the house in the dark, having intrusive homicidal thoughts, and then sobbing because they wouldn't go away. Thankfully, it resolved itself in a day or so. Definitely reported that to the tdoc.
When I went to see him, I reported everything and didn't hold back, although I also mentioned I felt ridiculously embarrassed telling him all those things! YOU WERE RIGHT...he wasn't shocked. Or judgmental. Just 100% empathetic.
Experiencing the comfort I feel in therapy is exactly why I am working on my own counseling degree.
Anyway, he diagnosed me (provisionally) with bipolar 2. All the other times I would see pdoc/tdoc they would just say 'well probably bipolar spectrum in some form.' Nice to finally be heard and have some clarity. He said that once we work on things it should become more predictable/manageable....I'm still a little skeptical about that. Thoughts?
And....I think I am still a little hypomanic. I had that intensely euphoric feeling again last night, which I have experienced very rarely in life, despite last week and last night. Maybe this rare bliss will become the new baseline. hahahahaha I can dream...
And I just realized I have a lot of tangents in my post.
But seriously, hypomanic is good if we aren't harming anyone, right? I haven't gone shopping because I know what happened last time. Maybe I'm doing better!? Hopeful!
Anyway, I am starting to feel better. I did have two days after the med change where I believe I was experiencing some dysphoric mania. I woke up at 3 AM pacing around the house in the dark, having intrusive homicidal thoughts, and then sobbing because they wouldn't go away. Thankfully, it resolved itself in a day or so. Definitely reported that to the tdoc.
When I went to see him, I reported everything and didn't hold back, although I also mentioned I felt ridiculously embarrassed telling him all those things! YOU WERE RIGHT...he wasn't shocked. Or judgmental. Just 100% empathetic.
Experiencing the comfort I feel in therapy is exactly why I am working on my own counseling degree.
Anyway, he diagnosed me (provisionally) with bipolar 2. All the other times I would see pdoc/tdoc they would just say 'well probably bipolar spectrum in some form.' Nice to finally be heard and have some clarity. He said that once we work on things it should become more predictable/manageable....I'm still a little skeptical about that. Thoughts?
And....I think I am still a little hypomanic. I had that intensely euphoric feeling again last night, which I have experienced very rarely in life, despite last week and last night. Maybe this rare bliss will become the new baseline. hahahahaha I can dream...
And I just realized I have a lot of tangents in my post.
But seriously, hypomanic is good if we aren't harming anyone, right? I haven't gone shopping because I know what happened last time. Maybe I'm doing better!? Hopeful!
February 3, 2017 - 11:07 pm
Total Posts: 868
Joined: 06-12-2011
Joined: 06-12-2011
My poor husband used to cancel plans or not solidify plans because of my moods. He never knew what the day would bring. We both feel bad that we were so ignorant about mental illness and that it was years before I was diagnosed. We did not have children because my temper was so unpredictable. The concern was that I could lose patience too easily and hurt a child. Little did we know there was a solution--meds and therapy. But, I had to become psychotic before I would consent to going to a doctor. Again, my husband is a saint.
Glad to hear you didn't hold back. I bet your experience in therapy will make you a great counselor some day. You can definitely learn skills to help you become more predictable and manageable. Meds help a great deal too. I think keeping a mood chart is really helpful and I have yet to find one I like better than moodtracker.
Unfortunately hypomania is not good even if you aren't harming anyone. Mania and depression harm your brain long term. At least that is how my pdoc explained it. So you want to prevent cycling as much as you can. You can learn to spot prodromal symptoms and head off big mood swings before they get out of hand. Though in the mean time, enjoy the euphoria while you can! I haven't felt that way in years. My manias, which I never let get past hypomania, are now typically dysphoric. Rats!
God bless!
Glad to hear you didn't hold back. I bet your experience in therapy will make you a great counselor some day. You can definitely learn skills to help you become more predictable and manageable. Meds help a great deal too. I think keeping a mood chart is really helpful and I have yet to find one I like better than moodtracker.
Unfortunately hypomania is not good even if you aren't harming anyone. Mania and depression harm your brain long term. At least that is how my pdoc explained it. So you want to prevent cycling as much as you can. You can learn to spot prodromal symptoms and head off big mood swings before they get out of hand. Though in the mean time, enjoy the euphoria while you can! I haven't felt that way in years. My manias, which I never let get past hypomania, are now typically dysphoric. Rats!
God bless!
My poor husband used to cancel plans or not solidify plans because of my moods. He never knew what the day would bring. We both feel bad that we were so ignorant about mental illness and that it was years before I was diagnosed. We did not have children because my temper was so unpredictable. The concern was that I could lose patience too easily and hurt a child. Little did we know there was a solution--meds and therapy. But, I had to become psychotic before I would consent to going to a doctor. Again, my husband is a saint.
Glad to hear you didn't hold back. I bet your experience in therapy will make you a great counselor some day. You can definitely learn skills to help you become more predictable and manageable. Meds help a great deal too. I think keeping a mood chart is really helpful and I have yet to find one I like better than moodtracker.
Unfortunately hypomania is not good even if you aren't harming anyone. Mania and depression harm your brain long term. At least that is how my pdoc explained it. So you want to prevent cycling as much as you can. You can learn to spot prodromal symptoms and head off big mood swings before they get out of hand. Though in the mean time, enjoy the euphoria while you can! I haven't felt that way in years. My manias, which I never let get past hypomania, are now typically dysphoric. Rats!
God bless!
Glad to hear you didn't hold back. I bet your experience in therapy will make you a great counselor some day. You can definitely learn skills to help you become more predictable and manageable. Meds help a great deal too. I think keeping a mood chart is really helpful and I have yet to find one I like better than moodtracker.
Unfortunately hypomania is not good even if you aren't harming anyone. Mania and depression harm your brain long term. At least that is how my pdoc explained it. So you want to prevent cycling as much as you can. You can learn to spot prodromal symptoms and head off big mood swings before they get out of hand. Though in the mean time, enjoy the euphoria while you can! I haven't felt that way in years. My manias, which I never let get past hypomania, are now typically dysphoric. Rats!
God bless!
Joined: 08-02-2011