Acceptance.
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March 30, 2017 - 6:25 pm
Hello everyone,
My name is Emily. I am 28 years old and I was just diagnosed with being bipolar about two months ago. I had my first hospital stay in the pshyc ward in February of this year bc I was 28 years old and tired of "waking up depressed" everyday. I had a really traumatizing childhood, but as I got in my early 20s I always told myself that "I couldn't use my childhood wounds to justify my adult failures". Infact, I was a store manager for Verizon Wireless at 28, in which I worked my ass off for!
After my hospital visit, I came to terms that they had diagnosed me with being bipolar. I was freaked out! Everything they mentioned about the manic episodes then turning into drowining in my sorrows made sense. I went back to the hospital a few weeks ago thinking that since they had put me on a cocktail of medications, that those are the things that made me "crazy". I just was not accepting the fact that I need these medication to stabilize me and make me "normal".
Now a few weeks later I am able to notice when I am having a manic episode. Like today for example...I woke up at 730 this morning in a BAD mood. In addition to that, I looked up and realized the sun wasn't coming out today. Needless to say, I literally let that ruin my mood ALL day. I did reach out to a few people throught the day, but then during one telephone conversation, I realize I was pacing back and fourth while I was talking. That's when I realize one of my first signs of being manic. I also realized that anyone who was talking to me, I wasn't listening. They thought I was listening, but I was really listening to the overpowering negativity and overthinking by my own thoughts. The people talking were just background noise.
I came home viciously looking for articles and ways to come down when I start being manic. Around 5pm I was SO EXHAUSTED that I felt like I had been competing in a 10 hour tennis tournament, on a hot summer day, with no water breaks in between. All because I has wasted SO much energy in my own thoughts today!
The worst part of all of this is....is that I know I am going to wake up tomorrow beating myself for wasting a whole day. Or...maybe Ill wake up tomorrow feeling worse???
Can anyone give me advice on how to cope with these issues?
My name is Emily. I am 28 years old and I was just diagnosed with being bipolar about two months ago. I had my first hospital stay in the pshyc ward in February of this year bc I was 28 years old and tired of "waking up depressed" everyday. I had a really traumatizing childhood, but as I got in my early 20s I always told myself that "I couldn't use my childhood wounds to justify my adult failures". Infact, I was a store manager for Verizon Wireless at 28, in which I worked my ass off for!
After my hospital visit, I came to terms that they had diagnosed me with being bipolar. I was freaked out! Everything they mentioned about the manic episodes then turning into drowining in my sorrows made sense. I went back to the hospital a few weeks ago thinking that since they had put me on a cocktail of medications, that those are the things that made me "crazy". I just was not accepting the fact that I need these medication to stabilize me and make me "normal".
Now a few weeks later I am able to notice when I am having a manic episode. Like today for example...I woke up at 730 this morning in a BAD mood. In addition to that, I looked up and realized the sun wasn't coming out today. Needless to say, I literally let that ruin my mood ALL day. I did reach out to a few people throught the day, but then during one telephone conversation, I realize I was pacing back and fourth while I was talking. That's when I realize one of my first signs of being manic. I also realized that anyone who was talking to me, I wasn't listening. They thought I was listening, but I was really listening to the overpowering negativity and overthinking by my own thoughts. The people talking were just background noise.
I came home viciously looking for articles and ways to come down when I start being manic. Around 5pm I was SO EXHAUSTED that I felt like I had been competing in a 10 hour tennis tournament, on a hot summer day, with no water breaks in between. All because I has wasted SO much energy in my own thoughts today!
The worst part of all of this is....is that I know I am going to wake up tomorrow beating myself for wasting a whole day. Or...maybe Ill wake up tomorrow feeling worse???
Can anyone give me advice on how to cope with these issues?
Current medications as of 03-30-2017
| 02-15-2017 - Present: | seroquel, 25mg. twice at bedtime |
| 02-15-2017 - Present: | trileptal, 150mg. 4 at night 2 in the morning |
| 02-15-2017 - Present: | welbutrin, 75mg. once in the morning |
Hello everyone,
My name is Emily. I am 28 years old and I was just diagnosed with being bipolar about two months ago. I had my first hospital stay in the pshyc ward in February of this year bc I was 28 years old and tired of "waking up depressed" everyday. I had a really traumatizing childhood, but as I got in my early 20s I always told myself that "I couldn't use my childhood wounds to justify my adult failures". Infact, I was a store manager for Verizon Wireless at 28, in which I worked my ass off for!
After my hospital visit, I came to terms that they had diagnosed me with being bipolar. I was freaked out! Everything they mentioned about the manic episodes then turning into drowining in my sorrows made sense. I went back to the hospital a few weeks ago thinking that since they had put me on a cocktail of medications, that those are the things that made me "crazy". I just was not accepting the fact that I need these medication to stabilize me and make me "normal".
Now a few weeks later I am able to notice when I am having a manic episode. Like today for example...I woke up at 730 this morning in a BAD mood. In addition to that, I looked up and realized the sun wasn't coming out today. Needless to say, I literally let that ruin my mood ALL day. I did reach out to a few people throught the day, but then during one telephone conversation, I realize I was pacing back and fourth while I was talking. That's when I realize one of my first signs of being manic. I also realized that anyone who was talking to me, I wasn't listening. They thought I was listening, but I was really listening to the overpowering negativity and overthinking by my own thoughts. The people talking were just background noise.
I came home viciously looking for articles and ways to come down when I start being manic. Around 5pm I was SO EXHAUSTED that I felt like I had been competing in a 10 hour tennis tournament, on a hot summer day, with no water breaks in between. All because I has wasted SO much energy in my own thoughts today!
The worst part of all of this is....is that I know I am going to wake up tomorrow beating myself for wasting a whole day. Or...maybe Ill wake up tomorrow feeling worse???
Can anyone give me advice on how to cope with these issues?
My name is Emily. I am 28 years old and I was just diagnosed with being bipolar about two months ago. I had my first hospital stay in the pshyc ward in February of this year bc I was 28 years old and tired of "waking up depressed" everyday. I had a really traumatizing childhood, but as I got in my early 20s I always told myself that "I couldn't use my childhood wounds to justify my adult failures". Infact, I was a store manager for Verizon Wireless at 28, in which I worked my ass off for!
After my hospital visit, I came to terms that they had diagnosed me with being bipolar. I was freaked out! Everything they mentioned about the manic episodes then turning into drowining in my sorrows made sense. I went back to the hospital a few weeks ago thinking that since they had put me on a cocktail of medications, that those are the things that made me "crazy". I just was not accepting the fact that I need these medication to stabilize me and make me "normal".
Now a few weeks later I am able to notice when I am having a manic episode. Like today for example...I woke up at 730 this morning in a BAD mood. In addition to that, I looked up and realized the sun wasn't coming out today. Needless to say, I literally let that ruin my mood ALL day. I did reach out to a few people throught the day, but then during one telephone conversation, I realize I was pacing back and fourth while I was talking. That's when I realize one of my first signs of being manic. I also realized that anyone who was talking to me, I wasn't listening. They thought I was listening, but I was really listening to the overpowering negativity and overthinking by my own thoughts. The people talking were just background noise.
I came home viciously looking for articles and ways to come down when I start being manic. Around 5pm I was SO EXHAUSTED that I felt like I had been competing in a 10 hour tennis tournament, on a hot summer day, with no water breaks in between. All because I has wasted SO much energy in my own thoughts today!
The worst part of all of this is....is that I know I am going to wake up tomorrow beating myself for wasting a whole day. Or...maybe Ill wake up tomorrow feeling worse???
Can anyone give me advice on how to cope with these issues?
Current medications as of 03-30-2017
| 02-15-2017 - Present: | seroquel, 25mg. twice at bedtime |
| 02-15-2017 - Present: | trileptal, 150mg. 4 at night 2 in the morning |
| 02-15-2017 - Present: | welbutrin, 75mg. once in the morning |
March 31, 2017 - 8:23 pm
Total Posts: 4
Joined: 02-12-2017
Joined: 02-12-2017
Hi! I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. I too have bipolar disorder and have experienced mania and depression. One thing I would say is: don't beat yourself up for this. As much as you can. Sometimes my bipolar brain does all the beating up for me. I'm learning how to recognize my illness for what it is (not a reflection of me), and cope as best I can. It's a learning experience and I am still learning! Take deep breaths, it will pass.
Hi! I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. I too have bipolar disorder and have experienced mania and depression. One thing I would say is: don't beat yourself up for this. As much as you can. Sometimes my bipolar brain does all the beating up for me. I'm learning how to recognize my illness for what it is (not a reflection of me), and cope as best I can. It's a learning experience and I am still learning! Take deep breaths, it will pass.
April 3, 2017 - 10:41 am
Total Posts: 658
Joined: 10-21-2012
Joined: 10-21-2012
Hi!
Sorry you're feeling so bad. You might go to your nearest book store. There are lots of books out there about Bipolar Disorder and they are so helpful. Please go check them out. They can give you info on why your brain is acting "weird" and give you info on how to deal.
Sorry you're feeling so bad. You might go to your nearest book store. There are lots of books out there about Bipolar Disorder and they are so helpful. Please go check them out. They can give you info on why your brain is acting "weird" and give you info on how to deal.
Hi!
Sorry you're feeling so bad. You might go to your nearest book store. There are lots of books out there about Bipolar Disorder and they are so helpful. Please go check them out. They can give you info on why your brain is acting "weird" and give you info on how to deal.
Sorry you're feeling so bad. You might go to your nearest book store. There are lots of books out there about Bipolar Disorder and they are so helpful. Please go check them out. They can give you info on why your brain is acting "weird" and give you info on how to deal.
April 4, 2017 - 9:36 am
Total Posts: 4
Joined: 04-04-2017
Joined: 04-04-2017
Do you think that your irritability could be a side effect of any of the medication you are on?
Have you tried meditating? It has made such a huge difference in my life (I'm your age and I have Bipolar Disorder Type II). The thing about meditating is that you start to develop a sense of the present moment and what that means. By focusing on your breath and using it as an anchor to come back to the present moment, you recognize just how many thoughts enter your head even within a few minutes. Instead of having a thought and running with that thought or letting it consume you, you learn to acknowledge it and let is pass just as fast as it came- without judgment. It's just a thought- it's not a part of who we are.
There is an app I use called Insight Timer and it's a community of millions of people around the world who meditate. You can see who is meditating the same exact moment as you and it's very encouraging, it has forums and thousands of FREE meditations- you don't have to pay or subscribe to anything. If you stick with it you can see how your life starts transforming. :)
Have you tried meditating? It has made such a huge difference in my life (I'm your age and I have Bipolar Disorder Type II). The thing about meditating is that you start to develop a sense of the present moment and what that means. By focusing on your breath and using it as an anchor to come back to the present moment, you recognize just how many thoughts enter your head even within a few minutes. Instead of having a thought and running with that thought or letting it consume you, you learn to acknowledge it and let is pass just as fast as it came- without judgment. It's just a thought- it's not a part of who we are.
There is an app I use called Insight Timer and it's a community of millions of people around the world who meditate. You can see who is meditating the same exact moment as you and it's very encouraging, it has forums and thousands of FREE meditations- you don't have to pay or subscribe to anything. If you stick with it you can see how your life starts transforming. :)
Do you think that your irritability could be a side effect of any of the medication you are on?
Have you tried meditating? It has made such a huge difference in my life (I'm your age and I have Bipolar Disorder Type II). The thing about meditating is that you start to develop a sense of the present moment and what that means. By focusing on your breath and using it as an anchor to come back to the present moment, you recognize just how many thoughts enter your head even within a few minutes. Instead of having a thought and running with that thought or letting it consume you, you learn to acknowledge it and let is pass just as fast as it came- without judgment. It's just a thought- it's not a part of who we are.
There is an app I use called Insight Timer and it's a community of millions of people around the world who meditate. You can see who is meditating the same exact moment as you and it's very encouraging, it has forums and thousands of FREE meditations- you don't have to pay or subscribe to anything. If you stick with it you can see how your life starts transforming. :)
Have you tried meditating? It has made such a huge difference in my life (I'm your age and I have Bipolar Disorder Type II). The thing about meditating is that you start to develop a sense of the present moment and what that means. By focusing on your breath and using it as an anchor to come back to the present moment, you recognize just how many thoughts enter your head even within a few minutes. Instead of having a thought and running with that thought or letting it consume you, you learn to acknowledge it and let is pass just as fast as it came- without judgment. It's just a thought- it's not a part of who we are.
There is an app I use called Insight Timer and it's a community of millions of people around the world who meditate. You can see who is meditating the same exact moment as you and it's very encouraging, it has forums and thousands of FREE meditations- you don't have to pay or subscribe to anything. If you stick with it you can see how your life starts transforming. :)
April 4, 2017 - 10:00 pm
Total Posts: 178
Joined: 05-17-2009
Joined: 05-17-2009
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2001, I tried to do as much research as I could on it. In fact, I still try to look online to see what else is out there, if there's anything new. Give that a try as well. There is a bit of information out there.
"Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get." Forrest Gump
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2001, I tried to do as much research as I could on it. In fact, I still try to look online to see what else is out there, if there's anything new. Give that a try as well. There is a bit of information out there.
"Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get." Forrest Gump
April 10, 2017 - 1:13 pm
Total Posts: 3
Joined: 04-10-2017
Joined: 04-10-2017
i actualy legitimetly know what you feel because i am currently in these specific days am being diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and well im past the part of them making me crazy or stopping them
i was hospitalised for a major depressive episode in the beggining of last month for my 3rd time in the hospital.. so im way past the part of oh maybe i can control this on my own because i accept that i cant. some others may can but i cant.
i was hospitalised for a major depressive episode in the beggining of last month for my 3rd time in the hospital.. so im way past the part of oh maybe i can control this on my own because i accept that i cant. some others may can but i cant.
i actualy legitimetly know what you feel because i am currently in these specific days am being diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and well im past the part of them making me crazy or stopping them
i was hospitalised for a major depressive episode in the beggining of last month for my 3rd time in the hospital.. so im way past the part of oh maybe i can control this on my own because i accept that i cant. some others may can but i cant.
i was hospitalised for a major depressive episode in the beggining of last month for my 3rd time in the hospital.. so im way past the part of oh maybe i can control this on my own because i accept that i cant. some others may can but i cant.
Joined: 03-30-2017