Not sure if anyone can help. Getting really desperate to be honest. Sorry about the essay.
I’ve been diagnosed with postnatal depression in June last year. Was put on sertraline. Dose was upped. Kept at the max for over 6 weeks. No effect. Quetiapine was added at 50 mg - 75mg to help with the sleep. Didn’t really do much neither, so got stopped at some stage in October.
On October they’ve tried the combi mirtazepine/ Venlafaxine and mirtazepine / duloxetine. Never got over the initial dose with these.
Both SNRI meds got stopped as I developed serious agitation. Stayed on the highest dose of mirtazepine for 4 weeks. No effect whatsoever.
Psychiatrist tapered me off mirtazepine and put me onto lofepramine. That was the end of November. Now something really has been happening since then.
Approx half a week after she started me on this tricycle one my energy levels started to rise. Agitation again. But at least no aggression. I HAD to do things. Can’t sit still. Really restless. I was very irritated (not as bad as in the SNRIs though). Started to paint furniture. Organise thongs. Sleep went completely out of the window. Mood was still on the very low side.
This lasted 7 days.
Then I literally “crashed”.
No other word to describe it.
Energy levels down. Can’t move. Low mood. No motivation whatsoever. This “phase” lasted around 9-10 days. Then the agitation started again.
Since the beginning of December this has been going on.
Somewhere in between the quietiapine was added again. But from previously 75mg it’s now at 200mg. Well. This dose works with sleep. It literally knocks me out for 3 - 7 hours.
Unfortunately in one of these “high” level phases I kinda “lost” it and was about to commit suicide. Fortunately (or unfortunately - I’m still kinda racing I was stopped - sorry, but that’s how I see it hahaha) the police found me and I’ve been admitted to hospital. At this stage I’ve only slept one out of four nights. Yep. I was awake three days and was still going.
Psychiatrist started me on lithium as an augmentation therapy to the lofepramine.
Still waiting for the lithium levels to get to therapeutic level, so we don’t know if it helps.
She’s can’t explain these weird ups and downs and is insisting she’s never seen this in any of her patients.
My partner and I are convinced it’s the meds which make me go like that.
She is saying if there was something like it, it was for the whole period and not up and down.
Now she’s saying it’s something psychological.
Psychological? Really? Up to the stage when she tried the SNRIs I’ve been lethargic, no energy, no motivation. Typical depression.
Then suddenly these meds are introduced and I start getting agitated and having these energy swings. Not even mood swings.
So. This means before that it wasn’t psychological? Just suddenly?
I’ve started seeing the psychologist and he’s kinda taking about childhood trauma and attachment issues.
Ok. And these “issues” started only to affect me 5 months into treatment?
I don’t know. My gut instinct tells me no.
It’s not that I don’t have problems. Who hasn’t? But everything in me screams no way.
My head is wrecked. I’m confused and don’t know what to think. Which doesn’t really help getting me out of his horrible spiral of depression.
I’ve tried to get the medication stopped. But she won’t have any of neither. It would be catastrophic. Ok.
At the end of the day I don’t care what’s causing it. Psychological. Trauma. Mood disorder. Whatever. I just want to know how to fix it again. Get an idea about the diagnose. Know what’s going on and why, so I can start dealing with it.
Does anyone have an idea what’s going on?