Dialetical Behaviour Therapy

I have suffered all my life with BPD and other emotional issues. I decided not to take medication anymore but I agreed to take courses in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. If this is offered in any mental health facility in your area, I highly recommend it. It is a lengthy process but well worth the investment of time and energy. It will not cure your illness but it will help you change the way you think, speak and act about other things going on in your live. It adds just one more coping tool to your tool box.
For starters read the book by Marsha Linehan.

I fully agree. It was the best thing in conjunction to therapy and meds I ever have ever done to help facilitate real positive change in my life. I am done now after 5 years of class because my insurance won't pay but when I went into class I viewed it from day one as a gift and a blessing. I learned how to understand and APPLY the skills to my life.. and I am still working at it everyday and will continue.

I still struggle with non judgemental stance but am actively working on it with my therapist who knows DBT. I find I am fairly good at mindfulness and distress tolerance. I have certain emotions I regulate very well now but others I still need to learn to apply emotion regulation skills to. Of course interpersonal effectiveness is the hardest but I actually have applied many of the skills in all of the areas. I mainly apply these skills to my family and daughter. I have to learn to work on intensity with my daughter since I have used yelling when she won't listen. I need to use GIVE and DEAR MAN with her more. I have to learn to let go of the outcome with her and stay mindful in the moment. It is very hard to use these skills as a mother but I am doing it better than before. It is easier for me to use these skills in the outside world with people I don't know very well.

DBT is a life saver when a person takes it seriously and applies it. I feel I have a wise mind now and that is always something I wanted.

Thanks for bringing DBT up. More people need to get on board.

Excellent! Yes, it's hard to apply these things sometimes - especially with family. And as the saying goes...if you don't use it, you lose it. Sometimes, I have to pull out my manuals and remind myself that I can handle life and the things it throws at me. For example, today I had body pains and a little anxiety and the first thing I did was head back to bed. Then, the DBT alarm went off in my head. "Get up, shower and because there is more happiness in giving than recieving, go out with a friend that is in need of encouragement"!
So, that's exactly what I'm going to do. But, we are a work in progress aren't we? LOL
All the best and continue on your path to healing.
Donna

Yes we are a work in progress! So glad that there are others out there who are using their wise minds and doing the best they know how!

Have a great day and be mindful!

I also am involved in DBT...it has quite literally changed my life. What I am wondering is if anyone knows of an on-line DBT study group. I began DBT when I went for treatment at the Menninger Clinic two summers ago and I currently work with an individual therapist who is trained in DBT, but where I live, there are no groups at all. I was hoping that maybe there'd be an on-line group I could join!

:) Laura

I'm not sure about DBT on Line - just keep checking. There are however, many workbooks available that aren't too costly - check Amazon. One purchase could be Masha Linehans Book..Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Handbook. She has published other books on Mindfullness.
I don't know what country you live in but I live in Ontario Canada and our mental health departments of the hospitals have extensive DBT and CBT Courses. You could check there. There is usually a long wait time but it's worth it. The bottom line is that you can do this from home on your own - just be consistent and determined to get well and 'live in the moment' - believe me it works and will give you back a 'life worth living". All the best to you.
http://www.amazon.com/Dialecti...

An easy user friendly book from amazon "The Dialectical Therapy Book for Bipolar Disorder" by Sheri Van Dijk for$15.00. This is a very simple and easy to understand book for someone new to DBT. It has the same skills but explained a bit different..again easy to understand and to apply to bipolar.

Marsha Linehan's book is the original..then there is the Moonshine book that has many great creative style DBT handouts that are very helpful to people in the class/ or have taken the class.

Westwind,

Thank you for beginning this thread. I started DBT 10 weeks ago and don't have anyone to talk to about it outside of group. Well, at least no one who knows the terminology and how to use the skills. It's nice to know how helpful it is from people who are going through it now or who have finished the program. You've all given me hope and made me realize that starting the program really was a way for my old therapist to help me get the skills I need to make a happy life. For awhile at the beginning, I thought she just sent me to the program to get rid of me. I'm happy to know that it is worthwhile. Thank you all!

~JD

I'm so happy for you. Trust me you will see the benefits. At first, DBT may not seem like it's anything life-changing but it's all about baby steps. It's about not letting the anxieties of life weigh you down. They will always be there but it's how we face the challenges and rise to them that really counts.
I think the main points that I took away from DBT is 1) ONLY YOU are responsible for your happiness - you are responsible for the energy that you bring into peoples lives and you are responsible on how you receive the energy from others. 2) It doesn't matter what happened in the past (our bad childhood, failed marriage or other tragedies). All we have is today. That's not to say that we don't plan for the future to some degree but don't put too much energy worrying about tomorrow or next week. All that counts is NOW - and what you will do today to find joy in your life and bring joy to others. I'm going to refer to the "Good Book" where it says "there is more happiness in giving than receiving". I can't stress how much truth there is to this. Give of yourself to others in small ways. A kind word, a compliment and friendly smile.
Finally, if you need to take medication - take it. It is part of your healing process and last but not least just BREATHE! All the best in your future.

Check this out: The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side,
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.


Christian D. Larson, 1912

ps: To JD
Also, I wanted to make mention of the comment you made about your doctor wanting to get rid of you. Actually, DBT is a very select program and if you were recommended for it, I think, it actually meant that she saw a great potential in you to want to heal and want to do better in your life. If she didn't think you would take it seriously or benefit from it, then she wouldn't have wasted your time or the facilitators time. So, you need to view yourself as priviledged and as someone who is worthwhile and ready to be on the road that will lead you to a healthier life.

Westwind,

I like your posting of The Optimist Creed. I copied and pasted it so I could bring it to my next group session. Thank you for viewing my entrance into the DBT program in a different way. I think about moving on from my old therapist as a positive change now. It's become easier to start over with a new therapist and the transition went much better than I thought. I tend to cave in to unnecessary anxiety about things in life that turn out fine or at least manageable. Even still, I don't make appts. w/my pdoc on Mondays b/c that's the day that my old therapist is in the office.

Yes, I understand what you are saying. Not every therapist "'gets it". Sometimes, it takes awhile to find what is right and who is right for you.
I know with DBT classes you sometimes get assigned a different therapist who solely focuses on your progress with DBT. Hang in there - life will never be perfect but we can always improve in our viewpoints and coping skills. All the best

There is a Yahoo group called Borderline_dbt. The people there are very supportive. Also the moderators give assignments of sorts each day, strictly adhering to the principles of DBT. It is a really great resource.

I just finished DBT in March of this year - I spent 2 years in the program. Fortunately my individual therapist is also one of the DBT instructors/coaches. Now that I am finished we are going to do trauma work. Frightens me a little bit.

Just like everyone said - it can be overwhelming at first. The terms are foreign and the concepts seem ridiculous (half-smile for instance), but relax and be gentle with yourself. It will come. If you in DBT then you obviously have the will and determination to change your life for the better.

I commend you all!

trugem,

Thank you for the info. about the Yahoo group. Can you give me the exact link? I would really like to join, but it didn't come up when I did a search.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com...

This is the link that was at the top of my screen when I entered the group page. You do have to be approved to join. Just checked. If you go to yahoo groups and type in DBT it is about the fourth group down the page.

Let me know if this doesn't work and I'll investigate further.

trugem,

The link worked and I have requested membership. I'm hoping to be a part of this group shortly. Thank you for telling me about it. :-)

~JD

I just read an comment on another blog that said that they were a health practitioner and DBT does not work for all BPD people, because the hypersensitivity and shame force the emotions into dangerous repression and BPD use DBT to try harder to pretend there is nothing wrong, because we are suggestible and senstive to the opinions of others, and many of us would rather die than let anyone know what is really going on. So we are desperate for a fix and to appear presentable to people, so we use DBT as a further kind of false-hope scenario that leaves us feeling broken.
This happened to me it was awful, because my "friends" who knew I was in the program kept telling me "oh you aren't using it correctly." What am I? I have BPD, my ability to process experiences properly is never going to be perfect.
At least for me, right now, I am realizing that I used the DBT incorrectly without also having an adequate support network. I am really down today I am sorry, so I don't mean to be a detractor to something that IS absolutely beautiful as a tool, but for me, I cannot proceed without getting over my need to hide my feelings and use DBT to show a "false front" to people and "think myself" into being ok. That's not going to happen. The problem is all of my friends and co-workers have no tolerance to my needs and my view of myself as a BPD sufferer is absolutely intolerant to them. And yes I wouldn't be alive if I wasn't an optimist at heart and in fact I have been practicing mindfulness for years. I'm just saying I think people with BPD need to be careful using DBT without a a good support network and safe place to/way of vent and admitting the magnitude to the pain that we suffer. DBT is too cold and its false that we can ever "think away" our sensitivities and emotional irregularities with positive thinking. I went overboard myself trying to pretend that mindfulness was all I needed, and it was really terrible that other people were putting me down for not using the DBT enough. So then I absolutely bottomed when I still messed up and my emotions were still red-letter obvious to everyone. They still are, I'm BPD its not going to go away, hopefully DBT can keep me alive that's all its good for it seems, but like I said, its also a way we can shame ourselves or others or think its a magical fix. Which is really something BPD people fall for a lot it seems.

Thanks for the info....
Great!!!
I am going to suscribe, if I can. I will try.
Thanks again,
Lycaste

I am currently in DBT. I also find it very helpful, although honestly, it is not easy, not only do you have to memorize what is taught, you also have to remember to try using it in your everyday life. My biggest struggle with it is actually attending group, since I suffer from anxiety sometimes I am just too afraid to go. Also, I live in the next county from my group, so I cannot have a carpool buddy or anything like that to motivate me to improve my attendance.
Also, although Linehan originally developed this therapy with for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. The majority of the people in my group are not diagnosed with it. We have diagnoses spreading from depressive disorder to PTSD to ADD to multiple personality disorder.
I was worried when I first joined the group that they had suggested it to me because they thought I was Borderline, but that wasn't the case. DBT can help anyone be more successful and overcome the obstacles in their life.