prozac was a 4 letter word to me

After I had my baby Kaylin I had a case of the baby blues. I went to my family physician who I've been with for years and is aware of the addiction issue as well. He prescribed for me prozac for the depression and topamax as a mood stabilizer. I only took the prozac not liking what i read about the topamax. In my bipolar career my normal swing was the depression, and I could stay there for unimaginable lengths of time. The prozac sent me into such a manic that I wasnt sleeping or eating for long periods of time. I didnt recognize the feeling nor did I even know anything was wrong. At the same time I was given cipro for a uti. Cipro as well can send bipolar people manic. It also stopped or limited my body from being able to absorb the caffeine I was taking in every day. The combination of the bc powders, fioricet and pepsi everyday Im suprised I was even able to live through it. At the same time I was having a reaction to the cipro. So it was a very confusing time and there is no real reason I should have made it through all of that at the time. Because of the prozac, for the next 3 years or maybe more I will swing to the manic side. I havnt seen anything close to a depression at all. The manic for me is worse because I know what it is now. When I start swinging hard that way I become completely uncomfortable in my own skin. Many things can happen at that point. Relapse is the biggest fear, but I can also work myself into the ground or even maybe in the extremes think I can fly or other dangerous thought processes. Its important to have a psychiatrist treat you and not your family dr. Thats what I learned from all of that. I still find myself arguing some of what she says and trying to be my own dr. Thats when the manic is running a little stronger. I found out today that when I'm done with my drug program that my daughter can come home and I'm looking forward to that but still trying to stay in the day. If everything goes smoothly I should be done may 18, 2009. This time around I can finially be the mother I always wanted to be and wish that I could have been for my boys who are 12 and 9. Thats all I've got for now. I go to Narcotics Anonymous almost every night and I check in with them and let them know where Im at in my life. Now i can check in with you guys and let you know where I came from....whats working for me and ask if i need some help. Thank you for the opportunity for us to help each other get through this disorder because we can live with it and be happy too. Kamy

Hi Kamy--Yes I know what you mean about the SSRIs, I was on them for ten years until they finally figured out I have Bipolar Two. Now I rapid cycle like mad which is a legacy of the SSRIs. I am lucky and have a good pdoc so it will get better--at least thats what I try to keep telling myself. Anyway, keep posting, I know it helps me.

Yup, same here with the SSRIs.

I was prescribed zoloft for 10 years for depression. Never once did my doctor think to assess me for Bipolar. When my anxiety got really bad, they upped the dosage from 50mg to 100mg and my rapid cycling got really bad over the past few months.

Did you ever go back to taking the Topamax? I've heard its supposed to also help with addiction problems. You mentioned being in NA, and I've heard about it being used to treat smoking cessation, cocaine addiction, and alcohol addiction.

No I never did go back to taking the topamax....but oddly enough it did get me ready for the lamictal putting a dead stop to my manic which was running at least 200 M.P.H. at the time. When I was taking the topamax I was on a runaway manic from the prozac. As I started the therapy it did what it was supposed to do and put a dead stop to the manic and scared the hell out of me. I wasnt sure what I was feeling so went to the message boards and saw what others might have been experiencing and ran across a girl named Tammy who in her 4th day of the medication said she was suicidal. I didnt know how I felt so I figured that must be suicidal and 2 days later told the sherriffs officer that was there that I had thought I felt that way. Where here came my first baker act ever. What it did was make the lamictal less scary to me when it did what it was supposed to do. I'm not sure if the topamax helps with the addiction issues. I take revia 50 mg everyday to block my brain from blocking opiates, which is my drug of choice. The general public as a whole would do well adopting the teachings of the 12 step programs in their everyday lives. Its an amazing process not having to control everything. NA has saved my life in so many ways.....not just the drugs. Im a grateful recovering addict today and live with my disorders instead of suffering from them. This process has also allowed me not only to work with other addicts but other bipolar people. I have a great safety network on both axis and use them regularly.

That's good to find out!

There has only been a little research about the Topamax and addiction. I came across it when I was doing research for a psychopharmacology class I'm taking.

Congrats though on feeling better and overcoming everything that you have!