Hypomania

hey, another question.. what are some symptoms you've had while hypomanic? how does it manifest itself in you? i kno the official symptoms, but i'm curious as to how it actually pops up in real life.

When I'm hypomanic I talk very fast, change subject in mid sentence, get irritable then suddenly stop being that way with no reason. Can't sleep well because my mind races a hundred miles and hour and I become obsessive. I'm a writer and will write my books nonstop for a week or more. There is also a fairly famous man I tend to obsess about and I listen to his music non stop or will lay in bed daydreaming about him.
The world seems to be going very slow around me sometimes and I don't understand why.
I also become the best writer in the world in my own eyes and am easily hurt by the smallest slight.
I actually have a hard time noticing that these things are happening to me so I've asked my daughter, she's very observant, to let me know when I'm hypomanic.

i get really active in planning things. last time i was insanely hypomanic, i had about 3 or 4 books i was planning on writing, i was starting a jewelry business, and opening an art/dance studio lol.. i even looked at spaces to rent. i didnt actually go thru with anything, of course, because i was too busy planning.. i dont kno if i talk alot, i really only remember once or twice where i talked really fast.. sometimes it was just like i stumbled over my words bc i would be halfway thru speaking one sentence and my brain was already on the next, so it got confusing lol. one major thing was i was extreemeely hypersexual. i wanted to do prettyyy much everyone.. i also drank a LOT which made things worse.

I only get the 'negative' hypomania. Crotchedy, cranky, problems sleeping and motor mouth, difficulty concentrating on any one thing--but constantly feeling I should be "doing something", no fun at all. I am much more creative when I am not hypomanic, or only mildly hypomanic.

thats what i got most recently.. insane irritability, hard to concentrate. ill have trouble sleeping and be too tired to do anything but feeling like theres so much i should do, or so much i have to do, or so much that i can do. another thing that happens is i get these random SURGES of euphoric energy.. is that weird? does anyone else get this? its almost like a sudden high, a nervousness-butterfly type feeling where everythings great.

ive bin like that recently, like, find it really really hard to get to sleep, then am too tired to think for like half the day then really full off energy the other half
i plan everything really over optimistically as iff i can do eeverything
and i feel the need to dance and jump around
im writing a book in silly hours of the morning most nights, like 2/3 o'clock
and cannot concentrate on anything at once for more than like 20 minutes
completelly and utterlly sexually obssessed
in fact, if when i was feeling quite down i started to accept this as who i am, i would be loving it, most of the time anyway, but wenever im feeling really energetic and start jumping round and singingin ect. i now choose to calm myself down instead of before i just let the energy rush take its due course. thinking about it has made me muh more concious of how the world sees me while before i took a much more, im who i am, love me or leave me approach
thinking off all the charcteristics i have, everything i think of as being me, comes from these complete extremes, and it scares me that thats a bad thing
when oscar wilde talked of sorrow in deprufundis, i kindoff took it as part of my life, and to just accpet it, normally when im suicidal, its a more lethargic, i would like to die, rather than a im actually going to do it think, and the manic sides off my personality are what people love about me/ irritates the hell out of them- close line
and im just confused as to whether to accept being me as a problem, because its all i am, something i previously looked on as very very extreme individuality till my last bout of depression
and im thinking off seeing someone to get sleeping help, or i will actually fail my gcse's in 3 weeks, but... i dont know
my usual outlet is my sport, which has a high dare devil element , and which i normally do almost every day for a few hours, but im injured so no longer have that way of controlling things and fing myself craving danger, and anything exciting
at night i hear ladders outside my window, and cant turn off the light to try to sleep untill the curtains stop moving and its completely and utterly silent

im really confused as to what to do- and this obssession with my every emotion is scarring me a little