Been BP for 30 years and still suffer from this disorder

Since I was 14 yars old I was suffering from BP disorder. Still have my down days and my manic high days. Still suffer through mixed states in between and still taking way too many meds.

Does this madness ever stop?

Stop? no. Get better? It can.
I haven't known about my BP for as long as you have but I did spend a bit over twenty years doing the BP dance. (As my friend used to call it.) I changed meds, checked into mental wards when it got too bad and basiclly felt out of control.
Then, last December, I was put on Tegretal and everything changed.
I'm more stable, My family are much more relaxed around me. They say I'm the most "normal" I've ever been.
I'm not saying this to brag. I do have a day or two here and there where my BP acts up and it's hard to learn how not to be guided by emotions but at least that problem is easier to work on. I'm telling you this to let you know that there is hope.
Keep on your meds, tell your PDOC and TDOC what's happening, let them know that you don't feel your current meds are right for you and hang in there.
The light at the end of the tunnel isn't always an on coming train.

Jazlafem: Mooky is right, check with your pdoc about meds. As to length of time, I had a diagnosis of Major Depression for ten years, then this January I finally got symptoms bad enough to report to my pdoc and it was changed to Bipolar II. We are still working to get my meds straight because most BPIIs can't tolerate SSRIs which I was on for ten years. Even tho I've only been diagnosed with mental illness problems for 11 years, when I look back I can see symptoms before I knew what they were.

But getting on the correct meds and having a good pdoc and tdoc will help. We are still working on mine, but even tho I am still having problems with anxiety (a fairly major problem in BPII) in other ways I am doing better than I have for a long time with better meds.

I don't really think there is such a thing as "too many meds" as long as they work for you and help you find yourself. If they aren't doing that, as I said, I think Mooky is right and you need to talk with your pdoc. Don't do what I did for ten years and under-report problems.

I take abilify,seroquel,trazodone,ritalin,valium,zolpiden and lexapro. I have been on meds for literally most of my life.

: - (

I wonder the same thing sometimes, I've been bipolar most of my life. Change Dr's, that's what I did anyway. I had gone to a Dr that is a Psychiatry Proffesor at a major university here and has even written books on the disease. I went to him for over 10 years. I took about the same amount of meds as you, I would tell him they weren't working so he would add more. I finally changed Drs a few months ago after trying to hurt myself. It was either me or this disease and I managed to have the strength to choose me. My new Dr is a mood specialist . He started from scratch and I am guardedly optomistic., But you know how these meds lure you into thinking your okay and then here comes that brick wall. He is telling me that this is a managable disease, I am only on three meds now and crossing my fingers. Try and find a Dr that specializes in mood disorders, not just a regular Doc. I think that's what saved my life. Good luck

Ive been going to the same Pdoc for 9 years. She is a mood specialist and a good one at that. She is also a psychiatrist.

There are just some of us that muddle through the meds and therapy ( as she is my therapist too ) and never reallly find ourselves. I feel like a lost soul. No real family and have isolated myself from my friends. Lonely but content in the lonliness. Agoraphobic except when I go to my pdoc every other week.

I'm thinking of telling her that I want to ween myself off my meds. I don't know. I'm very far from reality right now. I will probably regret writing this later.

PEACE BE ON TO YOU

jazzlafem
I see your struggle. I can't emphasize enough how important it is for all of us to be educated about the illness. The more you read and ask questions the better.

Do you ever challenge your pdocs thinking or rationale for having you on so many meds? What are the chances that some of them are conflicting with the other? All of our bodies are different and our reactions are different.

You may find you are more stable with a different combo. You are on a lot of meds and I DO NOT recommend you quitting, but I do recommend studying very closely each med, possible side effects, compare your moods to when you were taking other combos, mood chart.

One of the things that comes to mind is that a lot of BP people can not take an anti depressant. Lexapro sent me into mania and then dark hole of depression. That could be part of what is destabilizing you. I'm not doc for sure, but I highly recommend you look into all these possibilites and challenge the thinking. Lamictal was my life saver.

It surprises me how many BP patients take meds for ADD. I can't help but think that ADD mimics some BP symptoms and I have a hard time seeing a need for both meds. Luckily I don't have that diagnosis, but again, I say look into it and challenge the thinking. Multiple thoughts at once and lack of concentration are present in BP and ADD.

One thing for sure. If you want to go down this road, please only work on one med at a time. If you change more then one you don't have any way of knowing which med is working or not. And PLEASE do not do any of this without the advice of a doc.

Most of us tend to give our power over to the dr.'s and we forget that they work for us. If you are unhappy, challenge until you feel better. That may require changing docs, but don't give up.

So many PDocs seem to want to just prescribe more meds instead of finding a combo of just two with an add of an anxiety pill as needed or a sleeping pill.

I wish you luck. I encourage you to be empowered, but don't give up, don't stop the meds, and don't make changes without consulting the PDoc, and change docs if you aren't getting what you need.

That is my 2 cents anyways.