Lonely

I feel like nobody loves me. Every time I reach out, they shun me, push me away. And then everyone else makes fun of me for not having a boyfriend. They think I think it's funny, meanwhile, I cry myself to sleep and contemplate suicide. I even tell them, and they just think I'm kidding.
If I do attempt (which I am not planning on any time soon), I know that everyone will tell me how much they love me. They take me for granted. It pisses me off.
I'm too scared to tell my friends how I feel. I think they would be mad at me or they would pity me. I don't want to hurt their feelings. That is the last thing I would ever do. But I feel like they hate me because they make fun of me all the time for being shy and single. I'm lonely and my friends aren't helping.

Cheesepuff.

If I didn't know better I'd have thought that I had written your post when I was younger.
I was teased all the time and was suicidal from age 6.
Being taken for granted and teased is not nice.
I found that instead of telling ppl how I felt I did things that they couldn't help but notice and appreciate. I turned into an enabler which I wouldn't recommend.
In truth it didn't always work but sometimes it did. Those kind of "friends" aren't friends at all.
I was 20 and had never been out on what I would call a real date.
I was fat, socially awkward, bipolar, played a tuba, too smart for most of my peers...You know; the nerd of the school even in college.
What turned it around for me was finding my first REAL friend. Someone that wouldn't take me for granted, who was there with a shoulder to cry on and still didn't pity me.
Please don't give up. There are good people out there. You just need to find the right one for you.
As for a boyfriend... That will happen when it happens. I found that trying to go out on a date just because I wanted a boyfriend or because people thought i should was a sure way to mess me up. If they tease you about not having one tell them that you are looking but haven't found any guy that can live up to your standards.


Now I am a happily married mother of 2 wonderful children. The friends I have now know that I am important just as I know they are important. We help each other not just me helping my friends the way it was in school.

I guess what I'm trying to say is to please hold on. Keep a few tissues handy and wait. Somewhere, someday you will find a true friend. Then things will start looking up better.

I wish you well.

A kindred spirit

Thank you so much. It's hard to wait because I just feel so alone. I know that one day I'll find a great guy, just like everyone else, but I hate waiting. I try so hard to hold on each day, just living one day at a time. I do have just enough hope to keep me holding on. I feel that none of my friends really actually KNOW me, and I'm afraid that if I open up to them, they'll tease me even more. At least I know that others feel the same way. Thank you.

Cheesepuff,

Mooks is so right... everything that she said to you. She's a smart lady, and I give her lots of credit.

I know what it is like to feel alone. I also know what it is like to be teased and misunderstood by those around me.

My mother taught me something that really sticks with me. She suffered from major depression and often felt left out and alone. One day she was at church dinner, feeling alone and it came to her that she maybe she was looking at it wrong. She thought, "I'm so worried about not having anyone to sit with, what if someone else needs a friend? What if someone else needs company?" So, she looked for someone who was eating alone and asked them if she could join them.

I want you to know that she never ate alone again. She always found someone who "needed" HER company. And she loved making a difference, all the while not feeling lonely, herself. When my mother passed away two months ago, there were over 200 people who came to our home in her last few days to make sure that they told her how much she meant to them.

Now, that's a success story. That's a legacy of a depressed woman who turned it around.

So, maybe "they" don't want to be friends, or "they" tease you. But, there are lots more people than "they" out there. Who is out there that needs a friend? So what if they're not one of the beautiful people? I bet they may need a friend at least as much as you do.

I dunno.... just an idea.

As for the guy thing.... Guys are WAY over rated. When they're young, they don't know what they're missing. I hear your pain. I was a fat kid who never had a boyfriend until I went away to college. I was over 30 when I married. But, it was WELL worth the wait. Now I have a man who loves me more than I could have ever hoped to be loved. He's a keeper.

Hang in there puff, girl! You can do this. You have a lot to share... and better yet, you have a gift to give to the world. I can't wait to see what it might be.

Be well,
Jules

Thanks. And that is like what I live by: the golden rule, treat others how you would like to be treated. Because I know what it feels like to be lonely and sad, I empathize with those who do also. I do have quite a bit of social anxiety, especially when I'm depressed, but I try really hard to be kind to those who need it most. I learned this valuable lesson about two years ago when I was going through a hard time and saw someone going through something worse, but he still helped out his friends who were sad, and they helped him in return. I would love to be a friend like that, and I would love to HAVE a friend like that. I know my friends that tease me don't really understand what I'm going through, and even though I try so hard to cheer them up when they are down, they never return the favor. I hate to sound selfish, because that goes against everything I stand for, but it would be nice if I didn't have to wait for years in order to find a good friend. Thanks for the advice, and I'll take it. :)