intrusive thoughts

Can anyone relate to feeling fairly okay but having really intrusive thoughts about dying? it is really scary and makes me feel crazy.

first off- thanks for ur response about my mixed state question. =)

now- i dont kno if its bipolar or just.. us lol. but i have random thoughts about death. not about killing myself or someone else, just these thoughts that come to me about people i love dying. or about me dying. ill be in the car and if i forget to put on my seatbelt, ill get paranoid that im gunna die if i dont do it. when i leave for work in the morning, if my boyfriend is still home and i kiss him goodbye, sometimes i get completely crazy wondering if its the last time ill see him. i feel so morbid and paranoid and crazy to have these thoughts.. i wonder if anyone else gets them too

I know I've gotten those feeling from time to time.
It hasn't happened in a while, thank goodness, but it used to drive me crazy.
I'd start thinking about someone and think about the last thing I had said to them then wonder if that would be the last thing I would EVER say to them.
Sometimes I'd get to thinking about someone dieing so much that I'd just have to call them and talk to them so I'd make sure to say something positive before i hung up.

In truth i haven't had those problems since i got on Tegratol It has been wonderful.

All I can say is to let your docs know about the problem. According to my doc it was a sign of anxiety that pointed to a need for adjustment in my meds.

My intrusive thoughts can include people dying but I usually don't linger on those too much. The ones that really get to me are thoughts of jealousy. It seems overwhelming sometimes and if I ride it out without discussing it with my wife then the ride can seem indefinite. Once I speak openly about my issues, my wife has an opportunity to make me feel more comfortable and often checks in with me more often just to let me know she's thinking of me. I hate that I am jealous and I hate that I am overly needy and insecure, especially during depression cycles, it makes me feel like such a burden. In closing, I expect that paranoid thoughts go hand in hand with racing thoughts and seems very common among BP victims.

I used to have these thought ALL the time.
I think the Lamictal has helped some. I still have them, but i find it easier to push them out of my mind.

I've talked about this before on the board, but I think this is a very important topic. This is one of the things that make us feel so crazy that I think we HAVE to talk about it.

I have what I decided to call "snap shots." They are very intrusive "pictures" of me hurting myself (committing suicide) in a very specific way. They just POP into my head for a split second. Depending upon my state of mind, I see more or less of the scene that ranges from mildly graphic to completely horrible.

These snap shots do not have any connection, at all, to reality. I do not have the means to harm myself in the way that my Polaroids depicts, nor do I have the inclination to harm myself in that way. I have never seen this particular picture in any way in real life, and they show up quite often when I am not the least bit suicidal.

When I finally opened up about them and talked to my Pdoc and my therapist about them... I thought is was because I was suicidal. It scared me to death. Everyone went onto high alert, and I almost ended up in the hospital (I was wickedly depressed at the time, too). But, I FINALLY identified that they had no rhyme nor reason. They showed up at the darnedest times... times that would make NO sense if they were truly a suicidal thought.

Together, my therapist and I identified them as an anxiety response. I would have these snap shots when I was startled, when I was angry, when I was frustrated, AND when I was depressed. They are a sort of "brain tick." They truly have no other possible explanation. What a relief that was for me to find out.

I have since "re-written" my snap shots. I have consciously changed the picture. They still happen... but, I have made them into a sort of cartoon that is harmless to me. I choose to. It is a conscious choice. I'm not always successful at seeing the edited version of my snap-shots.... but, the improvement is amazing. And, the most important part is that I no longer see it as a sign that I'm suicidal, or potentially suicidal. It's a great relief.

Be well,
Jules

I too have very intrusive thoughts and i have found that that is my anxiety, instead of a physical response i get these images. sometimes of me and depending on the percived threat to me.or its on someone else.

I've had a lot of these kind of thoughts for all my life. It's worse when it's about my kids, who are now grown up, but still my kids. I used to feel that any time I had an inexplicable anxiety, that something terrible was happening to one of my boys. Since being treated for the past 4 yrs, both with meds and therapy, I'm beginning to recognize that the anxieties are just that- not a psychic warning of doom.

Unfortunately, I do sometimes intuit something accurately, and that makes for uncertainty and confusion. But recognizing the extent of my problems with anxiety has actually helped.