Hello!

I hope that by joining this community and utilizing the resources I can become more aware of myself and my disorder. I would love any advice you may have in dealing with depression/mania, taking medication regularly, or other major bipolar topics.
My name is Amanda. I am 23.
I'm in the midst of denial even though its been two years since my diagnosis. I journal about my existential battle daily.
I detest pills. I've been on a variety that I am on no more that includes Amibilfy, Equetro, Xanax, Ambien, Lithium SR (I'm on ER now), Zyprexa, Wellbutrin, Trazadone, Seroquel. I have trouble regularly taking my Lamictal because it produces a HORRID metallic after-taste. I often try to reflect on days past and pretend I was better without medication.
Work has suffered. I exhausted all FMLA until October when I start accruing it back and I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my job. Oversleeping, eating healthy, exercise, and a strong support team has kept me afloat.
I have regular talk therapy every week to every two weeks depending on the severity of my symptoms.
I don't know how many other websites you may use , but I'm also involved with facingus.com and dbsalliance.org.
I'm thinking about going to group therapy with DBSA. Any thoughts on group therapy?
Also, I was thinking about providing some "Crisis Planning" to my family and close friends and giving a Medical POA to my mother or boyfriend.
I want to be safe, but I know that no matter where we turn, bipolar will be there.
Any thoughts, well wishes, advice would be much appreciated.
Thank you :)

hi, i don't realy talk out much but i read everything. the drugs once you find the right combo will really help keep you sane. group are good also but don't fall into the trap that they lead your life. i have been dealing with bi-polar for almost 2o yrs. on and off meds and in and out of therapy. the one thing i stress the most is to keep trying to get it right. not everything works for everyone. my med list may look small but i really have had to work on it and
i have almost died 3 times just to get here. people who love me and god see to it eveyday that i get up, mostly god though. most people put the dx on it and feel trapped because of the label. it may mark you but it doesn't say who you are and what you are made of. you here your talking thats the biggest step.
Good Luck

I got my diagnosis "only" four years ago after what I lightly refer to as"my very public meltdown." Right away my psychaiatrist (the first I'd ever seen) discarded the prescrition my primary had wriiten and started me on Depakote which I still feel probably saved my lfe. I journal extensively and I look over the stuff I wrote when I first started "down the med trail" and see that I greatly appreciated the change and progress I made. Nevertheless, after a year, I bailed on all the meds. I'd always had trouble getting my head around the idea that I'd be taking these.. chemicals.. for the rest of my life. Frankly, that was scaring me to death. I made it about ten months before I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I really DID need to be taking the meds because I could NOT function (especially in my job as a HS teacher) with the psychotic mood swings. I'm okay, now, with the concept of fighting for (or against) my own mental health but I find considerable "resistance" from friends and family who insist that I don't NEED to be taking "those drugs." Support groups ARE good, for the role they're supposed to fill, but like what you'll find here, the advice you get must be taken with a grain of salt. Here's MY grain.. go check out CrazyMeds dot org. The drug info is the best (I think) and there's a TON of stuff to read that always gives me a grin. Grins are good.

thanks so much :D