calling all wise ones

okay county clerks office. its a lot easier said than done. You're right Bee, i guess im not getting the fulfilment i need..Mostly when i hit the lows. i think i may be a rapid cycler now, and its pretty dizzying.. i thank you all for your input.

PLEASE go to your county mental health agency and get the help you need. They don't care if you have medical insurance or not. Good Luck

I suppose that regardless of what advise any "wise one" will offer up, the reality is that it will be meaningless unless you make the choice to be different and to choose differently. You can choose to continue riding the roller coaster or you can choose to get off and find a new ride. Clearly, the roller coaster ride is not giving you the fulfillment you are looking for - otherwise you wouldnt have asked for advise.

So where do you begin? 17 years ago when I was 23yrs old I wish I had had the access to information that I have now. I would have taken control of my "condition", seen the right specialists, asked the right questions and insisted on being a partner in my health and not a spectator. So my advise to you is take the opportunity to educate yourself on all aspects of your illness. Make notes and write down those questions that pop up in your mind. Once you feel you know as much as you can learn about your illness, find a specialist that will take you to the next level. I know you say you are not on medical but there are always state hospitals and doctors. Make use of them. Armed with your notes and questions, go to you 1st appointment with the objective of learning more. You wont get the miracle cure in the 1st visit. More than likely you wont get the miracle cure with the 1st lot of meds you take but keep pushing the boundaries. You want maximum health with minimum side effects. Insist on being a partner in your health. You have the right to make informed choices (prolife is not just about getting rid of unwanted babies).

It will never be perfect but once you've reached this point, you will probably feel the best you ever have. You will be ready to start building a life that you deserve. You will have the right relationship, the right job and the right friends. Unless you treat the illness you will never know the real life that is waiting for you to live.

Take courage and start to make a difference to yourself. You can choose to be a reed that succumbs to the lighest breeze and exists at the mercy of the elements or you can choose to be an oak tree that stands strong and withstands the lashings of violent storms. You can choose to be a victim of your circumstances or the master of your own destiny. So whether or not my contribution has any value to you, will ultimately be your choice .......

gab..
DEFINITELY check the county health office, don't pass on any help avail.
I was 23.. for a year or few.. STILL think I'll live forever. Most of my "wild stories" aren't family friendly, but if that where you want to go. contact me @ one of my blogs (Google sirkayem) and I'll spin some good yarns. I can tell you my dx was well received (by me) and quite reassuring (to me) and.. yeah.. getting the right meds @ the right time prob'ly saved my life.
BEFORE the dx.. well, let's JUST say that I knew there was some odd brain chemistry @ work but.. well, you KNOW how it is.. after lotsa years of recreational drug use I guess y''sorta EXPECT some lingering weirdness. I can tell you that I took 15 years to get thru' my BSed, did the "poor student" thing.. in more ways than one. Did the food stamp and county medical thing.. my daughter was born while the sweet wife and I were both unemplyed and on all the assistance we could muster.
And that was a DECADE before my dx.
Like you, (and everyone w/a choice I'd expect) I love the mania.. my "low" periods are mercifully brief.. hours or days. I've had times when I thought my meds did no good.. took a year OFF the med trail , about 10 months longer than my pdoc thought I'd manage w/out 'em..
AH.. the stories I don't mind telling...

I agree. Definitely find yourself a county or other non profit mental health agency.

There are so many programs out there for people who do not have insurance that there is no excuse to not go and get help. We've all been where you are and can say we...

well I don't know where I was going with that, but its not making sense.