I am in a bit of a conundrum because I am in between pdocs. My last doctor, as I posted, was crazy, and after my last appointment, I do not trust him or respect him enough to ever see him again.
My new pdoc, who I am hoping will be very good, has me scheduled for 7-15. I am sure you are all familiar with this -- the hoops you have to jump through, and the waiting for pdocs.
I am still on the mood stabilizer I have been on for about three years (lamictal). Over the last six months, things have been added and taken away. The thing that worked best seemed to be a low dose of prozac, but it quit working about 3 or 4 months in. At this point, I moved, got a new doctor (crazy doctor). He was the doc who pulled me off the prozac and is against prescribing ad's to people with bipolar.
The latest med I was taken off of was saphris. It gave me anxiety every night, and I was getting depressed. I felt way better for a couple weeks, but now I have that creeping depression feeling.
Don't know if it is like this for others, but it's almost like an ache I feel in my arms, chest, neck. It is like a slow, dripping, creeping dread. It's a bleak outlook in general. I know I should get out and do things, but I have to make myself get out of the house.
I decided it was time for me to get back out and get a job, so I went and put in an application today. The manager is out of town for 1 wk. Instead of being proud of myself for overcoming fear and just DOING it, I just feel a bubble of dread in my chest, like nothing is going to turn out right, and I am never going to meet friends in this town.
I ran a couple of errands afterward, and I forced myself to talk to a few more people I saw out and about. It feels so unnatural.
I am trying to do things like eat right, take my vitamins, get out, get sunshine and exercise, but does any of that pull y'all out of a depression at all? Or is it just the meds? Sometimes I think I should just quit trying and just sit on the couch all day and watch netflix.
Carrie
Joined: 08-06-2012