Introduction/ BP II & Work
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March 5, 2009 - 6:52 am
This may not be the correct forum to post this in, and if it's not, I apologize.
I'm also sorry if it gets long!
I've struggled with intermittent depression since I was 12 years old (I'll be 27 in May). One of my therapists as a teenager suggested I may have been depressed as a young child as well (I have very few memories before 12 or so). I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a teenager and have been through many, many different antidepressants. I had a bit of a breakdown back in August and ended up cutting (something I hadn't done since I was probably 18). I went to my PCP who sent me to a therapist who I saw for a few months and she put me on Luvox, diagnosing me as ADD & OCD. I was stable for a few more months then in January, had a crying fit that lasted for 3 days (I have no idea what triggered it). My therapist suggested I see a psych. I had my initial meeting and was diagnosed as Bipolar II (which the more I read about, makes perfect sense). He started me on Lamictal, which I've been on about two weeks. I know getting on the right dosage will take time, but here's my predicament:
Since the crying fit, I've been in a very unstable depressive mood. It takes me hours to get out of bed in the morning, which has caused me to be late multiple times to work and I sometimes panic or cry at work causing me to leave early. My job is a great job (especially in this economy), but my depression lately has me to the point that I'm hoping to get into an accident on the way to work everyday and I'm crying my eyes out on the drive home. My HR manager came to me this week with FMLA papers and said I needed my psych. to sign them to excuse my tardies, etc. or that I would be let go. I asked if I could take an unpaid leave or cut my hours down but they said not with out the psych's signature on those papers. I'm scared to ask my psych to sign the papers as I've only seen him once and I don't want work to assume that I'm using BP as an excuse to get out of work and judge me more than they already have for being honest with them. I'm pretty tempted to just walk out but am terrified of the consequences. Any suggestions?
I'm also sorry if it gets long!
I've struggled with intermittent depression since I was 12 years old (I'll be 27 in May). One of my therapists as a teenager suggested I may have been depressed as a young child as well (I have very few memories before 12 or so). I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a teenager and have been through many, many different antidepressants. I had a bit of a breakdown back in August and ended up cutting (something I hadn't done since I was probably 18). I went to my PCP who sent me to a therapist who I saw for a few months and she put me on Luvox, diagnosing me as ADD & OCD. I was stable for a few more months then in January, had a crying fit that lasted for 3 days (I have no idea what triggered it). My therapist suggested I see a psych. I had my initial meeting and was diagnosed as Bipolar II (which the more I read about, makes perfect sense). He started me on Lamictal, which I've been on about two weeks. I know getting on the right dosage will take time, but here's my predicament:
Since the crying fit, I've been in a very unstable depressive mood. It takes me hours to get out of bed in the morning, which has caused me to be late multiple times to work and I sometimes panic or cry at work causing me to leave early. My job is a great job (especially in this economy), but my depression lately has me to the point that I'm hoping to get into an accident on the way to work everyday and I'm crying my eyes out on the drive home. My HR manager came to me this week with FMLA papers and said I needed my psych. to sign them to excuse my tardies, etc. or that I would be let go. I asked if I could take an unpaid leave or cut my hours down but they said not with out the psych's signature on those papers. I'm scared to ask my psych to sign the papers as I've only seen him once and I don't want work to assume that I'm using BP as an excuse to get out of work and judge me more than they already have for being honest with them. I'm pretty tempted to just walk out but am terrified of the consequences. Any suggestions?
This may not be the correct forum to post this in, and if it's not, I apologize.
I'm also sorry if it gets long!
I've struggled with intermittent depression since I was 12 years old (I'll be 27 in May). One of my therapists as a teenager suggested I may have been depressed as a young child as well (I have very few memories before 12 or so). I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a teenager and have been through many, many different antidepressants. I had a bit of a breakdown back in August and ended up cutting (something I hadn't done since I was probably 18). I went to my PCP who sent me to a therapist who I saw for a few months and she put me on Luvox, diagnosing me as ADD & OCD. I was stable for a few more months then in January, had a crying fit that lasted for 3 days (I have no idea what triggered it). My therapist suggested I see a psych. I had my initial meeting and was diagnosed as Bipolar II (which the more I read about, makes perfect sense). He started me on Lamictal, which I've been on about two weeks. I know getting on the right dosage will take time, but here's my predicament:
Since the crying fit, I've been in a very unstable depressive mood. It takes me hours to get out of bed in the morning, which has caused me to be late multiple times to work and I sometimes panic or cry at work causing me to leave early. My job is a great job (especially in this economy), but my depression lately has me to the point that I'm hoping to get into an accident on the way to work everyday and I'm crying my eyes out on the drive home. My HR manager came to me this week with FMLA papers and said I needed my psych. to sign them to excuse my tardies, etc. or that I would be let go. I asked if I could take an unpaid leave or cut my hours down but they said not with out the psych's signature on those papers. I'm scared to ask my psych to sign the papers as I've only seen him once and I don't want work to assume that I'm using BP as an excuse to get out of work and judge me more than they already have for being honest with them. I'm pretty tempted to just walk out but am terrified of the consequences. Any suggestions?
I'm also sorry if it gets long!
I've struggled with intermittent depression since I was 12 years old (I'll be 27 in May). One of my therapists as a teenager suggested I may have been depressed as a young child as well (I have very few memories before 12 or so). I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a teenager and have been through many, many different antidepressants. I had a bit of a breakdown back in August and ended up cutting (something I hadn't done since I was probably 18). I went to my PCP who sent me to a therapist who I saw for a few months and she put me on Luvox, diagnosing me as ADD & OCD. I was stable for a few more months then in January, had a crying fit that lasted for 3 days (I have no idea what triggered it). My therapist suggested I see a psych. I had my initial meeting and was diagnosed as Bipolar II (which the more I read about, makes perfect sense). He started me on Lamictal, which I've been on about two weeks. I know getting on the right dosage will take time, but here's my predicament:
Since the crying fit, I've been in a very unstable depressive mood. It takes me hours to get out of bed in the morning, which has caused me to be late multiple times to work and I sometimes panic or cry at work causing me to leave early. My job is a great job (especially in this economy), but my depression lately has me to the point that I'm hoping to get into an accident on the way to work everyday and I'm crying my eyes out on the drive home. My HR manager came to me this week with FMLA papers and said I needed my psych. to sign them to excuse my tardies, etc. or that I would be let go. I asked if I could take an unpaid leave or cut my hours down but they said not with out the psych's signature on those papers. I'm scared to ask my psych to sign the papers as I've only seen him once and I don't want work to assume that I'm using BP as an excuse to get out of work and judge me more than they already have for being honest with them. I'm pretty tempted to just walk out but am terrified of the consequences. Any suggestions?
March 5, 2009 - 7:44 am
Total Posts: 265
Joined: 08-30-2008
Joined: 08-30-2008
Welcome Emuko!
Please ask the pdoc to sign the paper! You need the time to get better! You don't need the stress of worrying about finding a new job. I had to do the same thing this past summer with a new pdoc. I'm sure he will quite happily sign it so you can focus on getting stable.
K
Please ask the pdoc to sign the paper! You need the time to get better! You don't need the stress of worrying about finding a new job. I had to do the same thing this past summer with a new pdoc. I'm sure he will quite happily sign it so you can focus on getting stable.
K
Isaiah 65:17
Welcome Emuko!
Please ask the pdoc to sign the paper! You need the time to get better! You don't need the stress of worrying about finding a new job. I had to do the same thing this past summer with a new pdoc. I'm sure he will quite happily sign it so you can focus on getting stable.
K
Please ask the pdoc to sign the paper! You need the time to get better! You don't need the stress of worrying about finding a new job. I had to do the same thing this past summer with a new pdoc. I'm sure he will quite happily sign it so you can focus on getting stable.
K
Isaiah 65:17
March 5, 2009 - 8:41 am
Total Posts: 55
Joined: 03-02-2009
Joined: 03-02-2009
Yeah, I was lucky the last time I needed to get off work for BP, it was actually just before being diagnosed. I took time off to go into a hospital. There they dx me with BP 1. But the doctor there was happy to fill out the necessary paperwork so that I would be covered by my work's short term disability program. Plus its in the dr's best interest for you to be employed...so I'd think he/she would be fine with filling out the papers that need to be filled out.
Yeah, I was lucky the last time I needed to get off work for BP, it was actually just before being diagnosed. I took time off to go into a hospital. There they dx me with BP 1. But the doctor there was happy to fill out the necessary paperwork so that I would be covered by my work's short term disability program. Plus its in the dr's best interest for you to be employed...so I'd think he/she would be fine with filling out the papers that need to be filled out.
March 5, 2009 - 10:48 am
Total Posts: 59
Joined: 02-27-2009
Joined: 02-27-2009
Emuko, welcome to the site! I was just recently disgnosed to. I was just the my pdoc today and I goimng to a smilar situation, I have being very unproductive at work and I'm afrraid they will have that talk with me anytime now. My doctor wants me to take a coule weeks off and I'm affraid cause I do sales and I needs the money. She said If I dont do it I might have a na nervous break down because the situation here is very stresfull and they are being very ahrd on us and I'm also staring on new meds and I'm a complete mess crying all the time and I cannot focus at all, sometimes I just stare at my computer and make no phone calls and I'm so affraid of losing my job. I love my job and I work for a great company and I ake really good money. I guess we both need to do the same thing take some time off untill we can be ourselfs and be productive again and dont burn our reputation at work, even though we want to be here and do good we are just not capable right now. Good luck to you on your meds.
Medications for March 2009
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Emuko, welcome to the site! I was just recently disgnosed to. I was just the my pdoc today and I goimng to a smilar situation, I have being very unproductive at work and I'm afrraid they will have that talk with me anytime now. My doctor wants me to take a coule weeks off and I'm affraid cause I do sales and I needs the money. She said If I dont do it I might have a na nervous break down because the situation here is very stresfull and they are being very ahrd on us and I'm also staring on new meds and I'm a complete mess crying all the time and I cannot focus at all, sometimes I just stare at my computer and make no phone calls and I'm so affraid of losing my job. I love my job and I work for a great company and I ake really good money. I guess we both need to do the same thing take some time off untill we can be ourselfs and be productive again and dont burn our reputation at work, even though we want to be here and do good we are just not capable right now. Good luck to you on your meds.
Medications for March 2009
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March 10, 2009 - 10:46 am
Total Posts: 7
Joined: 02-25-2009
Joined: 02-25-2009
Thanks for the support.
I'm going through something very similar to you, chrsitty. I put off tasks and spend what seems like hours just zoning out and staring through my computer. I'll cry occasionally but I can usually contain it until the end of the day (and end up bawling my eyes out almost every day on the long drive home).
I've thought a lot about diet and exercise because I know it would help but I can hardly remember to eat one meal a day and by the time I'm home from work, I'm so exhausted that physical activity seems like the most daunting task I've ever heard of.
I'm going to see my pdoc this afternoon. I hope I remember all the things I have to talk about.
I'm going through something very similar to you, chrsitty. I put off tasks and spend what seems like hours just zoning out and staring through my computer. I'll cry occasionally but I can usually contain it until the end of the day (and end up bawling my eyes out almost every day on the long drive home).
I've thought a lot about diet and exercise because I know it would help but I can hardly remember to eat one meal a day and by the time I'm home from work, I'm so exhausted that physical activity seems like the most daunting task I've ever heard of.
I'm going to see my pdoc this afternoon. I hope I remember all the things I have to talk about.
Thanks for the support.
I'm going through something very similar to you, chrsitty. I put off tasks and spend what seems like hours just zoning out and staring through my computer. I'll cry occasionally but I can usually contain it until the end of the day (and end up bawling my eyes out almost every day on the long drive home).
I've thought a lot about diet and exercise because I know it would help but I can hardly remember to eat one meal a day and by the time I'm home from work, I'm so exhausted that physical activity seems like the most daunting task I've ever heard of.
I'm going to see my pdoc this afternoon. I hope I remember all the things I have to talk about.
I'm going through something very similar to you, chrsitty. I put off tasks and spend what seems like hours just zoning out and staring through my computer. I'll cry occasionally but I can usually contain it until the end of the day (and end up bawling my eyes out almost every day on the long drive home).
I've thought a lot about diet and exercise because I know it would help but I can hardly remember to eat one meal a day and by the time I'm home from work, I'm so exhausted that physical activity seems like the most daunting task I've ever heard of.
I'm going to see my pdoc this afternoon. I hope I remember all the things I have to talk about.
March 10, 2009 - 1:08 pm
Total Posts: 55
Joined: 03-02-2009
Joined: 03-02-2009
That was why I signed up on this site, so I coudl keep track of moods and so I could journal along with that so I can remember what to tell my doctor. The dr either ends up thinking I'm fine when I'm not, or over reacting and thinking I am worse off than I am. I never feellike I can give her an accurate picture of me in 15 minutes.
That was why I signed up on this site, so I coudl keep track of moods and so I could journal along with that so I can remember what to tell my doctor. The dr either ends up thinking I'm fine when I'm not, or over reacting and thinking I am worse off than I am. I never feellike I can give her an accurate picture of me in 15 minutes.
March 10, 2009 - 3:05 pm
Total Posts: 146
Joined: 01-04-2009
Joined: 01-04-2009
Emoko: Please ask you doctor to sign the papers. You are surely not the first person to be in that level of distress and need the first time you see your pdoc. I know this is true because the same thing happened to me. It was a case of see the pdoc for an hour intake interview, get sent to my human resources department for the paperwork, bring it back for pdoc to sign and then I got to go home. This is normal, not unusual at all for pdocs to deal with. They will most likely take it as a good sign becasue it means you are taking your treatment seriously and will work to get better. And sometimes taking a leave from work and staying home is the hardest work you'll do.
Ok--I get to throw in a blurb here for talk therapists. They can see you usually for about 50 minutes to an hour. (Longer for their initial interview with you) Generally, they cannot do anything about your meds but they can "sling the lingo" and translate your problems into something your med pdoc can deal with when sometimes you just can't find the words to explain it in the15 minutes YOU get with your pdoc.
Can anyone tell I have a good talk therapist right now. Seriously, i credit her with having one hand on my sanity as I go thru this med transition I am on.
Sometimes it takes a while to find a talk person you can work with--in my current geographical location I went thru two duds before I got my current lady. Its not that the duds were bad people, its just their personalities and specialization (chemical addiction only) did not mesh well with my strictly non adddiction issues. I kept thinking they were hoping I would start using something because then they would know what to do.
But my current lady made it worth all the frustration. Real help is worth hunting for.
Ok--I get to throw in a blurb here for talk therapists. They can see you usually for about 50 minutes to an hour. (Longer for their initial interview with you) Generally, they cannot do anything about your meds but they can "sling the lingo" and translate your problems into something your med pdoc can deal with when sometimes you just can't find the words to explain it in the15 minutes YOU get with your pdoc.
Can anyone tell I have a good talk therapist right now. Seriously, i credit her with having one hand on my sanity as I go thru this med transition I am on.
Sometimes it takes a while to find a talk person you can work with--in my current geographical location I went thru two duds before I got my current lady. Its not that the duds were bad people, its just their personalities and specialization (chemical addiction only) did not mesh well with my strictly non adddiction issues. I kept thinking they were hoping I would start using something because then they would know what to do.
But my current lady made it worth all the frustration. Real help is worth hunting for.
Emoko: Please ask you doctor to sign the papers. You are surely not the first person to be in that level of distress and need the first time you see your pdoc. I know this is true because the same thing happened to me. It was a case of see the pdoc for an hour intake interview, get sent to my human resources department for the paperwork, bring it back for pdoc to sign and then I got to go home. This is normal, not unusual at all for pdocs to deal with. They will most likely take it as a good sign becasue it means you are taking your treatment seriously and will work to get better. And sometimes taking a leave from work and staying home is the hardest work you'll do.
Ok--I get to throw in a blurb here for talk therapists. They can see you usually for about 50 minutes to an hour. (Longer for their initial interview with you) Generally, they cannot do anything about your meds but they can "sling the lingo" and translate your problems into something your med pdoc can deal with when sometimes you just can't find the words to explain it in the15 minutes YOU get with your pdoc.
Can anyone tell I have a good talk therapist right now. Seriously, i credit her with having one hand on my sanity as I go thru this med transition I am on.
Sometimes it takes a while to find a talk person you can work with--in my current geographical location I went thru two duds before I got my current lady. Its not that the duds were bad people, its just their personalities and specialization (chemical addiction only) did not mesh well with my strictly non adddiction issues. I kept thinking they were hoping I would start using something because then they would know what to do.
But my current lady made it worth all the frustration. Real help is worth hunting for.
Ok--I get to throw in a blurb here for talk therapists. They can see you usually for about 50 minutes to an hour. (Longer for their initial interview with you) Generally, they cannot do anything about your meds but they can "sling the lingo" and translate your problems into something your med pdoc can deal with when sometimes you just can't find the words to explain it in the15 minutes YOU get with your pdoc.
Can anyone tell I have a good talk therapist right now. Seriously, i credit her with having one hand on my sanity as I go thru this med transition I am on.
Sometimes it takes a while to find a talk person you can work with--in my current geographical location I went thru two duds before I got my current lady. Its not that the duds were bad people, its just their personalities and specialization (chemical addiction only) did not mesh well with my strictly non adddiction issues. I kept thinking they were hoping I would start using something because then they would know what to do.
But my current lady made it worth all the frustration. Real help is worth hunting for.
Joined: 02-25-2009