How do you feel today

Perosally, i feel dreadfull.

Woke up this monring after 10 kips, and got a sore throat, and a cough, all i want to do is go back to bed

I don't know.
I can't make my mind up!
Went to a party last night and drank for the first time in months.
Got to bed at 4am.
It's weird - keep trying to figure out how I feel - which is weird in itself!

I just feel genrally unwell again, seem to have a lot on my mind at the moment, but i can't pin point it to anything
Guess i'm just worriered about b/f, luckly he's comming to the end of his tour..
All i want to do is sleep, even had a bath last night to see if that would help, but it just seemed to wake me up

edit, 12.06pm gmt

All i want to do is cry, and cut my self,not sure how much longer i can carry on like this

brokendown,

Do you journal? It really helps me when I'm in my dark place. It helps me challenge my thinking and realize that my extreme moods are only temporary. I also write on days that I feel "normal". Then I read about those days when I'm having a bad day. It remnds me that I am actually capable of enjoying life and I will feel good again. Maybe tomorrow will be the best day of my life .... or at least it might be a good one.

K

Hi Kef

I have never been able to keep a diary.
I have been keeping a paper version of the mood diary as well so i can show it to my GP.
But it's a suggle even for me to keep that updated.

Been in this black mood for so long, i can't rember what a good feel like any more.
Even crying writing this

Hi brokendown. I know what you mean. I had a diagnosis change a little while ago which means I am in a medication change which means, right now, I have no medication on board to help with depression.

There are days when it feels like I am hauling a thousand ton weight around. Today was one of those days. I made it out of bed but just barely. The other day I had a crying jag that lasted for many hours and I am still exhausted just from that, never mind the other stuff.

When I get in this kind of depression it actually HURTS. It also hurts when I try to do things to help myself out of the black mood. It isn't a physical pain that I can pin down to a location, but it is a real hurt just the same.

The only thing I can sometimes do that helps is do something anyway. Today I managed to take a walk (15 minutes) and take one of my prn Clonazepam. Clonazepam isn't for depression,but it at least keeps anxiety out of the picture.

Anyway, after the walk and the med I was able to get some creative things done. If I can just divert the black hole energy circuit in my brain to give the energy to something else, it helps--at least for a bit. But it is hard, I have to be both patient and gentle with myself--and that is hard for me to do.

Journaling, both here and on paper helps too. It lets me depersonalize the illness a bit and seperate it from myself. I have bipolar II, I am NOT bipolar II.

This is a good site, I hope we help you hang on until you find a way to feel better. You didn't say if you have any treatment help, if you are feeling like hurting yourself, please call your local hotline. There will be one in your yellow pages. I called mine one night when my hypomania got so bad I could hardly stand myself. They helped me stay calm until my meds worked--then I talked to my pdoc (medication prescriber) the next day and she told me what to do if I ever felt that bad again.

I feel on top of the world!

Go, go brokendown. Some of my new meds are kicking in at last, so I feel better too.

Lizabeth, i'm so glad your feeling better.

I actually had a good day too. The weather is quite nice here today and I think that put everyone in a good mood. I work as a restorative CNA and the residents I worked with today all were in good moods and did quite well. Every now and then everything goes just right!

K