Trust

I had a panic attack at work on wedenday. The first aiders called for an amberlance as i had a mild chest pain when i couldn't breath.

I had thursday off due to that but also i have been suffering from cold. I hardley slept thursday night worring over work.
Any way i got the curriage to go to work on Friday. Only to be told by a friend (who i can trust) that the office busy body had been down to the prodcuct development office that my boss didn;t know about my depression and that in my conadtion i shouldn;t be allowered to have contact with the shops we sell to. This is great as weds - fri i work in the sales office.

Than to top it off, i was asked to check someone's emails, and i found one about me. from someone who i though i could trust to the office busy body, asking if they had heard what had happend.

In two minds know wheather i should start looking for another job. As this company has a history of not sacking people, but making there working days so hard and misable it's impossable for them to work.
And i don;t think i could cope with that.

sorry for the rant, just needed to get it off my chest, but any advice is good

In this economy I wouldn't quit my job unless I knew I had a better one to go to. I just focus on what I can do at my job each day and try not to think about what others might think or say about me. I am fortunate to currently work with a great group of people who know about and are supportive of my circumstances. I find it easier to be the first one to tell my co-workers about my condition so they will talk to me and not about me.

K

i have told my product development boss.
In total there are 3 people who i know i can trust who know, i had to tell 2 of the first aiders as they called the NHS direct. And on Friday afternoon after i "flipped" i did tell 2 others in the sales office who i have known for years. Just hope i have down the right thing.

Thanks for your advice, i guess you must be stonger than me at the moment. I just don;t seem to be able to think straight or foucus on anything at the momet.

Brokendown: Yikes, and I went thru something similar before I left nursing, complete with a new and very unsupportive supervisor. (But she only wanted overtime working, no questions asked drones anyway). It is very hard to work under those conditions.

If you have already told your boss, why not talk to him? If your past reviews have been good, I don't see why your health condition should make any difference unless they just fire people for being sick. Anyone can have a health condition and yours is no different than say a diabetic who could easily go hypoglycemic(have low blood sugar, very life threatening actually) and have all the same symptoms you did.

You say NHS which makes me assume you are not in the USA--we haven't got one of those, unfortunately. So, I don't know what your Civil Rights are, Canada I know is fairly good. But be sure to find out just what your legal rights are if they start hassling you.

Hi

I told both my bosses, i have 2 part jobs for the same company.
Matt my PD poss is ok, It's Brian the Sales office boss i can't talk to. He is really unpleaseant person. All of the sales/marketing team don;t like him.

I've never had a job review or anything like that.
I guess this company just don't do it.

My is diabetic type 1, and i know they understand that when she isn;t well they know what to do. I guess this is becasue theres isn;t the stigma attached to it like there is with mental health. I tend to keep my mouth shut about it at work, allways have, only let those who need to know know.

Just feel so paronid at the moment, Brian is in today and his office over looks the lab where i am today, so i haven;t even opened the blind in case he looks in. Just want to curl up under my desk and get out at 5pm

Brokendown. It sounds to me like you are having a lot of Depression related reactions--feeling paranoid, wanting to hide under your desk, etc. I wonder if maybe you should call your pdoc. A medication adjustment might help. I had one fairly recently (pdoc added a medication) because I was having crying jags, not sleeping and was about one inch away from being suicidal. The adjustment helped a lot.

You are right about the stigma attached to mental health issues, but I have found the best defense against it is to be very sure you are not "buying" into the stigma yourself. Remember, you have an illnes just the same as a diabetic does. Yours just isn't as well understood and is harder to treat.

Your brain chemicals are out of whack--you yourself are not stupid, or weak-willed or anything else along those lines. Whew---can you tell I saw my talk therapist today. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon and that things straighten out at your job. Its funny how those sales types are either the nicest people or the worst SOBs---they don't seem to have much middle ground.

There is a slight problem Lizabeth, I don;t have a Pdoc.....
My GP has got me an appt to see one in April. Which was the ealisest they could get me in as i wasn't classed as an emergency. Even though i have had mood swings, lashing out, self harming and wanting to hide under my desk all the while.

I've been on AD's on and off for years. I'm one of people who when they feel good i stop taking them. But belive me i have learnt my lesson. When i finaly get some that work, i'll keep taking them.

I guess a some people, and i do include my own parents and family into this class, are from the old school way of thinking. They don;t belive in what they can't see.
Unlike Diabetics, who have a medication that keep there illness under control. (please don't moan at mean for this comment, my sister has type 1), people seem to understand this illness more than mental health.

Thanks for your comment about not being stupid, but i do feel it, i'm the brains of the family and i know i never will be. My parents have all treated me and my sister very differeent., I guess as a child she had a lot of medical probelms when she was born. me they just left me to my self. So i tend not to talk to people, i play my cards very close to my chest, i even feel like i can't trust my self most of the time never mind other peopl.

Trust me, never trust any one in sales, i've worked in sales for the last 10 years!

Just going to crawl back under my desk and shut the lab door until my doc appt this afternoon. God i hate my life

Brokendown: I really, really hope you see this before your doctors appointment. This is a "sling the lingo or talk the talk" lesson from a former RN.

When you see your doctor, you need to tell her, IN THE BLUNTEST AND MOST GRAPHIC terms how you are feeling. Especially the self-harming.
Especially if the self harming is still going on.

If you don't see this ahead of time, you can always call your doctor and talk to her again.

To me, it sounds like you need a professional pdoc and a diagnosis as soon as possible. Your general doctor can probably give you some meds to tide you over until they get you in but I really believe you need the kind of medication prescribing for the long haul that only a mental health professional can give you. And, to me you sound like an emergency.

When you do get a pdoc, again be blunt and graphic. Don't let shame and embarrassment hold you back. I promise there is nothing you can tell them that they haven't heard and helped someone else with. Actually, you sound a lot like I did when I started treatment this time around.
Please, call a helpline or ER if you feel at all like harming yourself, stay safe and keep posting so we know how you are doing.

Thanks Chuck, pleae don;t worry about me.
My doc has sigbed mee of work for a week due to depsresion/anexity.

Just burst into tears at the beauty salon! just had my eys brows waxed, and booked my self in for a massage tomorrow.

Way to go--now thats an idea, must book massage with next paycheck arrival.

Brokendown,

I am so relieved you were able to get a break from the situation.

My advice is when you get your PDoc to diagnose you, clear you for work or whatever, meet with your Director of Human Resources. This is why they are there to help mediate these types of situations. You do not have to go into details, just let them know you have a MEDICAL condition and make sure it is documented in your file.

You are correct when you compare this disease to diabetes. They both require medication and there are distinct signs that occur when the medication is not working. I have had to work both sides of this as a manager and an employee and it is the only way to make sure you protect yourself going forward.

We have office in the US and Canada and from what I understand, Canada provides better protection than the US, but this isn't my specialty so you really need to call them.

(Don't worry it's not you, all Sales people are the spawn from hell)

I would talk to the Hr department, but it's a small company and they don;t have one.

Only got 2 weeks before i see my pdo for the first time. just got to keep going for 2 weeks,

2 weeks, seems like a life time

Have you tried Journaling. I do journal everyday and it helps me a lot. I write about some of the things I am feeling which both helps me get rid of the negative emotions and I can look at my journal before I go to my pdoc so I don't forget anything I want to tell/ask her.

And for some unkown reason, it also makes time seem to pass as it really is, the bad stuff doesn't feel like its lasting as long.

Sort off, i have the mood diary on here, also one on paper. But i have started to write down bits that happen though out the day in a note book. just little things like my "boyfriend called at lunch yersterday nice to here is voice" whioch is was, can't wait to see himon friday..

just little bits like that, but i even nocited that my sister isn't talking to me much now at the minute, she works for the same company as me. So theres problery gossips flying around.

dear brokendown, I have experienced that in my work also. I found that stepping op to the plate in a joking way WORKS...I would go to the person and in a very kind, funny way say OH! I had no idea you were concerned about me. Thank You for caring. They get the message loud and clear.I also was asked by my co workers as to how much money i was making..I answered that as Not as much as I would like..Life is hard some times, smile and walked away. By thinking of come backs gives me lest time to focus on me.. I hope this will help you. If anything you will laugh at there respond. africanrose

I'v been signed work for another 2 weeks, and i've been up on beta blockers.
Which seem to be ok at the moment. Have't heard a dickie bird from work. My sister who also works for the same company is still hardley saying thing to me, but i really passed careing it know.

Lizabeth, i've just had a another back massege, go and get one booked!