Depression, Anxiety, the circler of it all

Hi, I just got on this site. Quite informative...

Anyways I am going to a new doc on the 24th. Man am i anxious, I spend most of the time i am awake researching all the different types of mental problems i might have. (oh i was diagnosed with major depressive for the 2nd time back in November)

Well now i am completely convinced that i have bipolar 2 with ultradian cycling. and i am then in turn crying everytime i think about going back on all the different types of meds.

--I am on wellbutrin sr now.... the smallest dose, but because i am depressed and sleep all of the time i often do not take it at the same time.....Man have i gone even crazier than i thought i was. Completely full of myself to total hatred in one day....

anyways, i have started a new little thing to be obsessed with.... what i have been obsessed with today was the fact that (if i do have bipolar 2) or i am told it is only depression...... either way i am now trying to convince myself that it would be selfish of me to have a child knowing that it would be highly likely that i would pass it on to my child...

I don't want to be responsible for someone having to go through all of this...

Just a new obsession for the night. does anyone else have these feelings, or ever obsessed about what seems like EVERYTHING?

Hi AlmostHome. I wrote you a whole welcome and the computer ate it Arrgh. Trying Again. Anyway, welcome and you are not alone---a quick read around this forum will show you many of us share your anxiety problems and depression. I am going to post this, then try a longer welcome later.

The best thing is having confidence in your pdoc, so I hope your new one works out and you feel better soon.

Here I am again. Anyway, I was going to say, usually its better not to make any Major Life Decisions when you are having a lot of symptoms.

Extreme mood swings could indicate Bipolar (not the manic-depressive kind) Two. There is a lot written about this here. The main thing to me is how much impact correct diagnosis has on successful treatment. The meds for pure Unipolar Depression are different that the meds for Bipolar Depression which is why almost everyone here is so into figuring out which type they have.

Depression is a major, major, horrible thing that makes you believe all kinds of not true things about yourself, so please continue to figure out what you have and I hope your new doctor helps a lot.

I have Bipolar two also, and right now I have Ultra-radian cycling but we are doing med changes because I had a dx. of Major Depression Unipolar for about nine years until this past fall I started showing blatently obvious hypomanic symptoms. Hypomania is what "makes" Bipolar Two the dx instead of Unipolar Depression. Hypomania can be really sneaky--it was with me. In 20-20 hindsight its obvious I had symptoms everyone missed. I hope you have better luck. Let us know how you are doing.

Lizabeth
were you ever suicidal? my doctor just now diagnosed with ciclothymia but reading more and more ( I have been obssessed about the sites) I think I might be bipolar II or III my mania is was never very noticible and I have mix moodes and I have ypomania episodes when i was on lexapro alone a couple years ago. I was super happy lala land happy, flerting a lot, a got a tatoo and I done things that not that I regret about it but it ws just way to foward for me. well, I'm knew to the site so as you can see I'm asking eryone all sorts of questions
ahahha
thanks for all the info and sorry about all the mispelling, engish is not my first language and topamax makes me a little stupid
:)

Cristty25--Spelling is not that important, getting help is. To answer your question--no I was never actively suicidal but I have on occassion felt that I would not attempt to get out of the way if an out of control car was coming towards me.
Please call someone if you are ever actively suicidal--there really, truly is lots of help out there.
Do you live in the United States now. I know other countries have different health care systems and how you get help varies. I have cousins in Canada--one has Bipolar I and her whole care system is different.
I thought cyclothemia was for Mild swings between depression and mania--but maybe I misunderstood it.
I have ultraradian cycling of Bipolar II which is just a fancy way to say my moods change very quickly. Generally a person will have a depressed mood for a few days, then maybe be at baseline for a day or so, then be hypomanic for a few days. Those of us ultraradian cyclers can go thru all those MOODs in one or two days. My rapid cycling is (I hope) temporary because I am going thru a lot of med changes and that can cause it. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon and get some less groggy making meds. I hate groggy making meds so that is a personal prejudice coming thru.

I live in the US, in the Dc area. I was never suicidal bu my moods change so fast. I use to be able to be more controling but after I had a baby it got my worst. I just started on the meds 3 months ago and still not stalized, my doctor thinks I'm ciclothimic but I think my depression is deep, today I was depressed all day but feel much better tonight, yesterday I was very edgy and ocd with a mix humor and havent feel hympomanic in a while, my hypomnya used to be the happy one were I felt confident and sexy and you know... that type of stuff... I kinda liked it... I was never to crazy or to risky... I have thoughts when I driving how about if I drove of this road but those are intrusive thoughs I dont want to do it but I cannot aboid the thoughs I keep thiking them and I screem my doctor said thats OCD, not sure.... I think I'm more than ciclothimic I'm tapering off effexor which made good at fisr and them a lot of mix mood episodes and now I'm on lexapro and topamax but my mood has been out of control and I have not been able to sleep well even when I take lorazepan...ot sure if I wait untill I;m totally off effexor and see how I feel or i I talk to my doctor about adding something else. I just want to feel better again. Thanks for you responde.