Self Medicating

Ok not strictly prescription medications.

I was wondering how many on here self medicate with either alcohol, or prescription/non-prescription drugs?

And why?

I have an ongoing prescription for codiene and I only rarely use it when the thoughts are too fast and numerous and I feel like my head will explode.

i admit to self-medicating at times. I use alcohol and other things to feel better. I currently take 5 meds and they are not holding me stable any more so off to the doctor I go on Wednesday.

I used to try and use alcohol, but somehow, I developed an extreme aversion to any form of alcohol. Anytime I would drink I would get violently ill. Now that I am on Depakote and Lamicatal I can't drink anyway.

Early on, before I was formally diagnosed, I would steal my mother's Xanax to help.

I know a lot of people who are bi-polar who use illegal drugs...thankfully I have never crossed that line. I don't want to be "out of it".

Hi

I used to self-medicate my depressions with alcohol. Sometimes it worked and sometimes not. I haven't done it for years now because excessive alcohol ramps up my anxiety and lowers my mood. I still drink a little socially and on rare occasions too much but I've made a conscious decision then that tonight I'll enjoy myself with the ralisation that I may pay for it later. I never overindulge if I'm down. I more often overindulge if I'm up. I've never taken street drugs.

I have met many patients on my various stays in hospital who have taken both soft and hard drugs both as a 'lifestyle choice' and to self-medicate and I have yet to meet a psychiatric patient who, in the cold light of day' could honestly admit such substances were a viable medication option for them. Often (particularly for cannabis, the use of which is very common in psychiatric patients i've met) they know it makes their illness worse, sometimes even think the drugs are the cause of their illness, but they can't stop using.

just an update to let you know that doctor added Trazodone to my meds for sleep.

Trazadone worked for me in the past.

I self-medicated with alcohol during a mixed episode with an emphasis on the mania. I overindulged to extreme degrees, and toward the end of the two month period I got so incredibly sick of alcohol that now even the smell of it makes me heave.

I used to "self-medicate" with self-harm, mainly when depressed but occasionally when manic as well.

For some reason, I never indulged in any other recreational drugs. Though alcohol never ticked it for me, drugs always seemed to take my control away from me even more than my moods did, and the thought of it scared me too much to try.

I am just curious the conversation about self-harm, because I have "just discovered" that I have been soothing myself by pulling out hair and other symptoms of Trichatamalia (spelling?).

I thought that I was the only one, until I looked it up on the net and found that there is an actual website designed to help. There is no magic pill or cure, but they do give suggestions.

I hate that I do that because it is very embarrasing, but I become like an OCD'er on crack until I finish.

Do you guys think that this is a seperate issue from BP or a symptom?

I used to self medicate with codine when I was very manic, it seemed to calm me down a little bit and made me feel more normal. I became addicted to Norco and tried to get opiates from all my friends. When I am severely manic I have a lot of rage, so to me it almost felt necessary some days just to be able to deal with anyone and calm down.

Ajneat: They have you on Wellbutrin and Effexor???? Is that a normal combination or is your Pdoc trying it out for a specific reason?

Back when I was embroiled in my addiction, I have no doubt that I was self-medicating. My bipolar disorder had not been diagnosed yet. I can remember asking my therapist if it was possible that I had "manic depressive" disorder. But, he told me no. There was only Bipolar I and Bipolar II at that time, though. And the criteria for those diagnoses are very strict.

Now, bipolar disorder is being redefined by several enlightened practitioners and researchers. The concept of "bipolar spectrum" disorders is becoming more and more accepted. My particular form of bipolar is Bipolar IV as defined by Akiskal. (please google his stuff if you think you have a spectrum diagnosis)

I am grateful that I now have the correct diagnosis. Because, in my younger life, I definitely medicated my highs. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I used depressants to calm down. I thought I was just "chillin' out." It took me a long time to understand that I was really an addict that I was using alcohol and other drugs for all sorts of reasons that were harmful.

I am grateful to have 17 years of recovery now. The grace of a loving God and a whole lot of hard work has sustained me.

Be well,
Jules

Lizabeth,
yes, I have been on both Wellbutrin and Effexor for about 4 years now. My Psych doctor prescribed them.

I've self medicated before, but not on a regular basis. I use Loratab to help take the edge off. I started using them after an emergency gall bladder surgery a while back. Since then i occasionally use some from my wife's prescription. I'm not a big alcohol fan, but I drink socially, not for medicating though.

Before I had ever heard of bipolar disorder, I self-medicated with alcohol, food, and valium that I stole from a family member.

K

Hi ,

I self-medicate with marijuana and was wondering if anyone else does, too?

I find that it soothes my depression now that I'm on Lithium. Before, it would calm me down after I got angry, sometimes violent, but the meds seem to help with that now, but I still get depressed though, and especially if I run out of my marijuana. I've asked my pdoc for anti-depressants and he said no; I had an assessment done by work and was told to go on citalopram and he still said no. He wants me to quit "pot" and I have cut down to less than half of what I used to smoke, but I get so down sometimes and thinking I can't smoke any makes me even more depressed.

Can anyone else relate?

I personally have always been confused about why marijuana is illegal. Like anything it can certainly be misused and abused, but it has not caused nearly the suffering that alcohol and cigarettes have. In California doctors are allowed to prescribe it and many people do appear to have health benefits for many health concerns. The only reason that I have not tried it, is because it is illegal. The natural treatment that led to the best 1 1/2 years of my life is no longer available because one of its many ingredients was Ma Haung which is now illegal as well.

K

I've often thought of self-meicating with my mom's wine coolers and street drugs, but have never done it. On the other hand, I never throw out my old meds. When I miss a day I simply take the pill and put it in a clearly labeled baggie with the others. When I'm having a really bad day I might up my dosage a little bit, but I never up it long-term. I once cut my meds in half by taking only 1 of the 2 pills I was supposed to, and have often told my friends that I would sell them my extra Prozac. At last count I had 530 mgs of extra stashed in my room, and I'm worried I might try to OD if I crash. I've often thought of throwing away all the Prozac, except I always think of it as a 'way out'. I know that's bad, but I feel to ashamed (and scared of over-medication) to tell my therapist. Any information or help would be fantastic.

Dolphin,

It is so easy to allow our shame to stop us from doing things that will help us. Our shame keeps us stuck in the fear that another person's judgement will be more than we can bear. I know.... I've been there.

Please remember that your therapist wants the very best for you. And it is his/her job to suspend judgement of you. The job of the therapist is to meet you where you are... no matter where that is. So, you can put away your shame and your fear, and do what's best for you and your health. Trust the process. Trust your therapist to do what's best for you... to want what's best for you.

As for the Prozac... flush those puppies down the toilet. They are a terrible choice for "a way out." And overdose is not always fatal ... but there are things that are much worse than death. Don't go there. It's ugly.

Do you have a safety plan for when things get tough? One part of my safety plan in that my husband gets control of my meds. That removes the easy accessibility just in case there were to be an impulsive moment. If you do not have a safety plan, that would a really good thing to talk to your therapist about.

I wish you the very best. Please do not allow shame and fear stop you from getting the help, the support, and the treatment you need.

be well,
Jules

Thanks Jules. Next time i see my therapist I'm going to tell her, but I'm still pretty nervous she'll over-medicate me. so many doctors see only the symptoms, or they don't understand that I'm talking past-tense. One of my friends goes to the same person and recommends making-up or exaggerating symptoms to not get over-medicated. I really hope I don't have to do that :(

Since I was young, I've suffered from major depression and social anxiety. I have tried several different medications in pill form (paxil, celexa/lexapro, wellbutrin, xanax, and effexor). I did not enjoy the drugged out feeling each medication gave me.

Marijuana does not interfere with my mental alertness or memory. I have a very detail-oriented career position which is not affected in the least. And contrary to popular belief, it does not intensify my anxiety, depression, or bring on paranoia. It actually allows me to indulge socially because it allieviates a lot of the unecessary worry I deal with.

Before I found out about my illness I self medicated by stealing alcohol from my father and mothers liquor cabinet (13 years old). I would sometimes smoke a cigarette or two to try to calm my nerves as well. To this day I still self medicate with alcohol, pills, or smoking at times even with proper medication (the doctor is still trying to level my moods).

I self-medicated with marijuana,along with my meds for bi-polar for a veryyyyyyyyyyy long time. I am now clean for 41/2 months. I finally realized my meds work alot better without the weed interfering. I'm a addict,I cant just smoke a little...I use to smoke it all day...most everyday. It was getting way outta hand. I quit at first to find a job since most jobs drug test..and now that I've went this long I dont even want it anymore. Well somedays I could use a j but it passes quickly. Feels good not having something control my life like weed has in the past:)

Heather,

Congratulations on being 4 1/2 months clean! That's a miracle one day at a time!! It is amazing how well the meds work like they're supposed to when you're not adding other psychotropic chemicals on top or them.

As a recovering person myself, I know that your path is not the easy one. I appreciate the effort that it takes to stay clean and (in our case with a mental illness) to stay well. I'm an addict too. I can't drink just a little alcohol, I can't smoke just a little weed. Anyway, they aren't treatments for my illness. They simply mask uncomfortable symptoms. Personally, I'd rather have my illness treated than to have my symptoms masked. That's where I have a chance to feel better and function better in the long term.

Who knows, I may not have become an addict were it not for my Bipolar disorder. There may not have been a time in my life where the only option I felt I had was to self-medicate. But, that's all water under the bridge. I am who I am... and that's not so bad.

Be well,
Jules

@Vikki:
I self medicate. Have been for a long time. Stopped taking my Lamictal months ago and can't think of a smart way to get back on. Terrified to tell my doctor and sort of embarassed. Don't know that its ever done anything. They put me on Lamictal first and crazymeds.us says thats not even the offlabel use, its meant to be a supplement to another mood stabilizer/antipsychotic. That makes me angry. I talked to my phamacist about it. She didn't want to get too involved. I often selfmedicate in the midst of a severe episode of either type to end the negative thoughts or extend the positive. It's always worked for me. I do not drink and I never really have. It's never helped me. I never felt "out of it" when high; I don't let it get that far.
@Jester:
Have you considered finding a new doctor? If you've expressed that you're still truly depressed the doctor should assess your prescriptions and condition and determine the best course of action--not ignore it. A change of face might be in order. That's probably the scariest part for me. Changing doctors when they don't listen. Or don't even go that far--get a second opinion. That way you're not breaking up with your doctor and can go back if that's what's best for you. I am concerned that you've become dependant though. You should probably lay off for a while and see how you feel when you're sober. It's good to be sober sometimes. Personally, I don't regularly smoke and not a word of this makes it to my doctor.
@dolphin:
If you're concerned with overmedication give your mom your pills to give to you. DO NOT BE ASHAMED. Your brain is lying to you. We like you better here. If you're afraid, WRITE IT DOWN and tell your therapist that way. Its sometimes easier to tell people your secrets when you don't have to actually say them and your therapist won't think poorly of you. Do not increase or decrease your dosage without your physician's explicit permissions. You're on a medication at what your doctor thinks is a therapuetic level. If you're not feeling better and you don't tell your doctor, your secrets keep you from getting the help you deserve. Let your doctor know what your fears and concerns are. Again, if you can't say it outloud, write it down.