i hate anxiety!!!

bipolar2... very low dose of geodon and ativan for when anxiety comes to surface...

i have done everything one with bipolar can do... i've had my run with meds... i've taken all classes and have gone to all support groups possible...

i had a life changing experience happen to me that unleashed my underlying GAD... and i hate it! i'd rather deal with bipolar symptoms than anxiety!

i know everything to do to control it yet it still creeps... and i hate the feeling...

i sometimes feel that the geodon is the cause of anxiety... i asked my doctor this and he said no... but it is the only thing that is different that i've done since the anxiety surfaced- minus the life change thing... i also hate the geodon because it makes me sleep too much... i only try to take the ativan when i REALLY need it because i don't want to become dependent on it...

most days i feel pretty good and i can fortunately get over the creeping anxiety... but i just hate having to "relax" and then all of a sudden it comes on when there's no reason for it to come on!

i just wish i could be normal... does anyone else feel the same?

had to vent...

I hear you. I also had a life changing event a year and a half ago and it, in combination with an SSRI, triggered my current diagnosis of "Bipolar Disorder NOS" (Not otherwise specified) that had been dormant or at the very least manageable. I also have anxiety, although it lately got really bad and would come on , as you say, for no reason, and manifest itself in experiences that mimicked or had flavors of my life changing experience (in which I was threatened and feared for my life). I was prescribed Risperdal, but just switched to Geodon. I don't notice any extra anxiety as of yet on the Geodon, but it definitely makes me tired! I also have a prescription for Valium as I am on call for work at night and if I get woken up, I can't get back to sleep. I think I won't be getting that renewed, though, as my doctors and therapists seem intent on me managing my anxiety through the atypical anti psychotics...I don't know, I just wanted to say that I understand what you're saying, and yes, it is EXTREMELY difficult to deal with anxiety that just "creeps", as you say, and, for me, catches you off guard.

thanks for your reply! i feel a bit better knowing that i'm not alone! isn't the geodon strong stuff? i mean it helps... but it sure is strong!

My anxiety just creeps up on me too. I can be fine all day and then all of a sudden my heart is racing, i'm hyperventilating and feel like everything is shutting down on me... I'm just starting meds for depression and anxiety, i'm on Buspar, Lexapro and Xanax (as needed).

I feel like I finally get things under control and something else pops up and takes me for a spin and throws my whole world out of whack.

hi ami... i feel you! i can be having a good day and then all of a sudden my stomach goes a little sick... and then i get exasperated at myself... i'm still trying to make peace with it but it's very hard because it's such a frustrating thing to deal with...

what do you do to cope with symptoms?

I completely understand as well, I have been dealing with anxiety for as long as I can remember, even in high school....my symptoms also creep up for no good reason (I can be at home and sitting on the couch, under a blanket watching a movie, and BAM! My heart's racing, I feel extremely nervous, get agitated, etc) and pairing that up with Bipolar 1 is just peachy. I'd MUCH rather just have Bipolar than to have to deal with the anxiety.

For me, caffeine irritates it, seems to make it worse...I have really cut bag significantly but until I get put on an anti-anxiety med (tried BuSpar for 4 days and it made me Bipolar crazy x10000 so quit that), I'm trying to not drink a lot of it.
As far as coping goes, for me, art (music, dancing) is therapy. The lyrics music in certain songs helps me express myself and get rid of that anxious energy, even for a few minutes. I also try and workout, I find that long, brisk walks around a scenic park (or for me, campus) help tremendously. Social interaction (I want to withdraw when I feel that way but it makes it worse, so I try to be around people) helps me a LOT...just getting busy and not thinking about it helps me essentially get over it, almost 90% of the time. STill, for the other 10% or so, meds would help.

MUCH luck.

bipolar2... thank you for your suggestions! i think distraction is the best way to kind of deal with the onset of anxiety...

i do have a new thing to be anxious about... .my sleep!!

i have been trying to establish a good sleep pattern but i think the geodon is throwing a wrench in the works... it's like i have to sleep for at least 9 hours on the geodon yet i can't sleep early enough to get the 9 hours in...

i'm starting a new job in a week and i'm anxious about it because of my sleep... i cannot wake up early enough!!

Yup, no problem.

My personal opinion/advice on sleep: SCREW it. I have the mindset that I will function on whatever sleep I do or do not get....so for me, it doesn't matter. It's a really good idea to have a sleep pattern though, so kudos to you for even trying...I quit that a long time ago LOL My schedule is so wonky right now that I just don't care....I go to bed late, sleep for a few hours, and I'm up and ready to go.

bipolar2... haha! yeah... i think i'm just going to have to screw it... but the hard part is that the geodon i'm on makes me groggy in the morning... i'd like to get off of it but my doctor is out of town for the week... and he initially didn't want me off of the geodon because my anxiety was out of hand... he didn't want to disrupt my system more...

oh the joys of anxiety!

THAT's the spirit! LOL! SCREW It :) Good luck with it! Have you tried BuSpar? It's a bit intense (at least it was for me) the first day or so, but it definitely took care of my anxiety...only it made me every symptom of mania & depression in the book all at once....that was great....btu maybe you could give that a shot if the Geodon is making you feel icky.

i haven't tried bupsar but i'll keep it in mind... i was put on the geodon to control my mixed episodes... i was working at a high stress job and so my doctor put me on it... i'm also on the lowest dose possible... i guess i'm just a sensitive thing! it's actually a good drug- the best one i like so far... minus the morning grogginess!

for anxiety i take ativan as needed... i like this one as well... it's a very low dose too... so sometimes when my anxiety is really high, i have to take 2 and then i get sleepy...

Odd thing about Ativan...I have been put on it 2 separate times and both times it quit working after a week. Made me SUPER tired the first day, but other than that, it quit after 7 days....it sucked. The BuSpar was miserable for my Bipolar but GREAT for my anxiety. I would have liked to have kept going on it, but it was making me suicidal, homicidal, mainc, depressed, agitated, upset, etc etc etc (like I said, EVERY manic & depressive symptom in teh book) and it continued for days after I quit taking it. Just proceed w/ caution is all.

I'm SO grateful to be back on Lithium....LOVE this drug.

The best thing I've discovered for anxiety so far is mindfulness meditation. I learned it around a month ago from an audiobook by Jon Kabat-Zinn (Mindfulness for Beginners), but later on I found a talk by him for free on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

I have an anxiety disorder (PTSD) in addition to bipolar, so anxiety is a major issue for me too. I had an accidental overdose of Ativan last year so I completely stopped taking any benzodiazepines because I worried that it might happen again. That's what put me on the search for something non-drug based to deal with the anxiety attacks.

For the past month I've practiced mindfulness meditation for 15 minutes every other day or so, and it's made a huge difference. I don't have anxiety every day any more, and when I do it's a lot milder. I can't believe the difference it's made. And it's really simple to do. I use a 15 minute guided meditation that I also found on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

(P.S. I hope youtube links aren't considered spam.)

800855, I just saw that you had asked me how I cope with anxiety. I find pain to be calming and I will admit that I do what is called "play piercing" (you can youtube it and find a few vids) I find that the rush of endorphins brings me back to earth.

Another thing I do is sit in the shower and try to let the warm water "wash away my worries" it's soothing, calming add some scented candles and it can be nice for meditating.

thank you for the suggestions... i too have been doing meditation and it helps out a lot...

i hope you are all well!