Agoraphobia?

My comfort zone is shrinking smaller and smaller, and it's getting nearly impossible to make myself step outside of it. I don't (yet) have full-blown agoraphobia, but I'm quite sure things are headed in that direction. I don't like to leave my house except to go to the doctor and therapist and grocery store. If I have to run an errand like get the oil changed on my car or take my daughter to buy clothes, it's getting harder and harder to make myself do it, and the whole time that I'm out on that errand, I crave to get back home.

My pdoc suggested that I go to the library. I managed to do it... but only once, and that was three months ago. My therapist suggested that I do something to get me out of the house. It took me weeks to get up the courage to check out a yoga class. I went three times and then stopped because it became to difficult to make myself go.

I'm particularly freaking out now because I committed to take my daughter on a college visit (she's a high school senior) next week and it's a 2 day road trip to get there. Way, way, way outside my comfort zone in other words. I can't NOT do it, because it's so very important to her. But it's going to be extremely hard.

It's like there are invisible walls keeping me contained in a small, familiar routine, and the walls are getting harder and harder to climb or break outside of. Can anyone identify and/or give me any suggestions on what to do about it? Any words of support would be so welcome I don't want it to get to the point where I can't leave the house at all.

Sorry to hear of your situation. I don't have the homing instinct as you do, but when you mentioned taking your daughter on a road trip to the college visit, my thought was that you could perhaps invite a friend to join you. Maybe having some support could help. If you don't think you have a friend that could operate in that capacity, maybe you need to find some new pals. That could be part of your healing perhaps? Now how to do that is not easy, I know. But, it was just a thought. I think women tend to stay at home and men go out with friends. Most women need a better social network than what they have.

Is your therapist helping? Does he or she really understand where you are at?

I don't have a friend that I can bring on the trip, but you did remind me that I will at least have access to supportive people online because of free internet access at the hotels we'll be staying in. In a sense, that's like bringing a friend along, and it's a comforting thought. It makes me feel calmer when I think of it that way.

My therapist is helping, yes. She wants me to challenge myself once or twice a week to do something or go someplace that is venturing outside of my regular routine, to keep those invisible walls from closing in on me. Any suggestions for some relatively simple things that I could try to do? I live in a small town, by the way, so that rules out things like "go to a museum."

Hi Jadyn,
Sorry to hear your experiencing agoraphobia thoughts. You can have it and still function, go to work etc, so if by "fullblown" you mean you can't leave the house, then yes, thats agoraphobia at an extreme level.

I have agoraphobia, but I have panic disorder which led to it. So I get panic attacks out of the house. At the moment its quite bad, I can't leave the house except to go to the Doctors, and I just want to get home straight away after it, which is only a 2 minute drive.

Do you get panic attacks, or just that 'I don't feel comfortable" kind of anxiety?

Either way, there is help, which is called cognitive behavioural therapy. Staying in the situation even if you do feel anxious, retrains your brain so that the perceived threat isnt there. Hard to do when your having a panic attack though, LOL.

A really good book, which helped me is "Living With It" by Bev Aisbett.
http://www.amazon.com/Living-S...

You can also get a relaxation CD and listen to it (not while driving) something specific to anxiety.

If you have an iphone (or smart phone) there is an application you can download that helps you stay in the moment.

Have a look on some websites for tips on coping (and support group forums) a few good ones are:

http://www.agoraphobia-support...

And this one which is in the USA, if you join and post on there, you will get lots of support. :)

http://www.mdjunction.com/agor...

Today I made myself go grocery shopping at an unfamiliar store in a nearby city. I paid attention to what was going on inside me, and I noticed two things. One was a strong pull to turn around and go home, where everything is familiar and safe. And two was a persistent thought/fear that something bad was going to happen. I ran the errand without any bad incidents, except for having to tolerate the anxiety itself. It wasn't an outright panic attack, but a very strong force trying to pull me back home, and having to tolerate the fear of something bad happening.

I have PTSD, so this is probably related to being hypervigilant for danger, either real or imagined. Those are some good suggestions and links that you posted. Thanks. Staying in the situation and observing mindfully what was going on inside me helped today.

Im glad you were able to observe what was happening with your thoughts, well donhen for staying in the situation, I think that is the key, even if you are feeling anxious, you are supposed to stay until your anxiety drops to a certain level. :)

jadyn, I know your post was like a month ago, but I thought I would write anyways. I also suffer from agoraphobia. Sometimes it's worse than other times. Kind of depends on what's going on around me. I DREAD going on trips, like to where my mom lives is like 1 1/2 hours from where I live. I don't drive, so it's hard going knowing that u have to depend on a family member or friend to take me back. I want to be able to escape if need be.

I just ended a relationship. When my partner and I were living together, it made things really unbearable. A few times a day I had to go into our bedroom, close the door and tell her I need space so she wont disturb me. I lay down on the bed and work on re-setting myself. Collecting my mind, body and spirit. I close my eyes and do this thing called "grounding". Are you familiar with this tool? Sometimes it takes 10 minutes, sometimes an hour.

I hate going shopping for the most part. I feel like when I'm going into a store (especially like Costco or Walmart) I feel like I'm taking a huge breath in and getting things as fast as possible and get out. It's like diving into a pool. I get panic attacks.

I have PTSD too and I'm Bipolar on top of an anxiety/panic disorder. GEE! What a fun date! :-) LOL.

When I'm away from home I designate a "safety plan". Maybe I can't be in my own apartment, but I can get away from people. My family knows of this, so when I go take a "time out" and go into a room and close the door, they know what I'm doing. Sometimes the only semi-safe places when I'm out is the restroom (using the stall) or fitting rooms. I've tried everything.

I'm on disability for my anxiety and all that fun stuff. I got a dog (a pug) and got a letter from my DR. that I need to have her with me. I live in a nice place and they don't accept pets. Because of my disability I can have the dog and not be subject to deposits and such. I'm working on getting a vest for my dog so I can take her more places. This distraction has been really helpful.

I'm also in recovery. I have 13 months clean and for some reason I was shocked about my mental health. I always thought that I was more of a depressive bipolar, but I'm completely the opposite. My drug of choice was "opiates", so I guess if I woulda really thought about it it would be a no brainer. I'm 34, used illegal drugs for almost 20 years. I self-medicated. Went on anti-depressants at the age of 14.

I take xanax and buspar for my anxiety. I don't like to take the xanax because I like lite mania and I wanna get stuff done. Anyway, my god, this is turning into a book. Lol. This is my first post. Yeah, and a bit manic.

xoxox siggy

siggy, may i ask, what do you do for "grounding"? I'm familiar with things like "focus on your breath," or "notice colors of objects around you." Is there something specific like that, which works for you?

I survived the road trip over Thanksgiving. I did have some major anxiety during it, especially when it was my turn to drive the car. I kept having a sense of danger, that something bad was going to happen. Oddly, when it was my daughter or her friend who was driving, I was able to relax somewhat and even enjoy the trip a little. So, there's something going on inside me not just about something bad happening, but more specifically, something bad happening AND it being my fault. This manifests too as having difficulty in making decisions. I'm afraid to make the "wrong" decision, and something bad happening as a result.

Do you have that too, difficulty making decisions?

I used to take Ativan for anxiety, but I accidentally overdosed on it a year ago, and I've not taken it since, for fear of that happening again. So, I'm going it without meds, as far as anxiety is concerned. (I do take my meds for the bipolar, though!) I'm becoming more and more reliant, instead, on mindfulness meditation to deal with the hypervigilance. I learned it only recently, but the more I practice it, the more effective it's becoming. I also practice something that I ran across when I was reading about DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy): distress tolerance. Both of these things are helping a lot.

Since my trip, I'm trying to do one thing each day that is outside of my comfort zone, so that it doesn't shrink down totally to the point where I'm self-trapped in my house. I long to be free of that feeling of danger though.

Way to go, for having 13 months clean. It's not easy, I'm sure, and it takes a lot of continual courage, what you're doing!