Aw yes, the holidays. Fa la la la la lalala Pffffft!

I have so many inlaws, outlaws, and etc. that is really hard to coordinate and please everybody. It gets me uptight and stressed out to the point that I feel my whole body filling up and brimming over with anxiety. It feels physical, the stress, not just mental. How do you handle it?

Years ago I read a book called "Simplify Your Life," and it had a chapter on simplifying the holidays. I've downsized my holidays ever since, and have no regrets whatsoever. There's lots of ideas on the web if you google simplifying the holidays. There's lots and lots of great suggestions on how to slow down and scale back. One example is http://stress.about.com/od/hol...

One of the things my brothers and I have done is to do a Secret Santa, where each person buys for only one other person. One brother organizes it for everyone. We set a $50 limit on each gift. We do one Secret Santa among us (the siblings and our significant others), and one among all the nieces and nephews. So that's just two gifts to buy, instead of 18 in our case!

Another thing I do is keep my focus on making it a good holiday for my daughter -- "make it about the children," in other words. This helps me decide whether to do this or that, or buy this or that. This means I generally don't go to holiday parties or exchange gifts with my friends. This keeps the holidays a lot calmer (and a lot less expensive) for me. When I decline an invitation, I just say that I like to keep the focus on the children during the holidays, to keep things from getting too stressful. Everyone seems to understand.

Stress is my biggest trigger for an episode or a hospitalization, so I try to keep it way down if at all possible.

I will explore that website right away jaydyn. I too believe that the holidays should be about the kid. I have told my 25, 24, and 24 year old that. The 25 year old gets immature about it. My nephew is divorced and his ex can be very uncooperative about visitation so we want to work around that. Every year another branch or two gets added to our dysfunctional tree so it's more about scheduling than about Christmas, although that does make for a tighter pinch every year too. On the up side I am blessed that the guys that two of my daughters have are really nice (one daughter isn't dating anyone right now). I'm also blessed that all three daughters will be home. Another blessing is that since they are now in there 20's they understand finances and it will just be stocking stuffers for them. I think when they become true adults (about 23-24) they start realizing it's about Jesus and not about the waste that so many presents can be

How does everyone else deal with the holiday hub bub.

And Jadyn thank you about the advice for saying no. People that truly understand the holiday will understand that and if they don't then they don't matter.

I have to remind myself to take a minute to breathe...deeply and slowly, to help me relax a bit.

aaaack... breathe... thanks for the reminder lillypad ;)
the whole christmas gift thing on a fixed income isn't easy!

You have to keep in mind that Christmas is a day that you need to make through. Do only what you can, and no more. I usually spend a fortune on the holiday...gifts, food, etc. Being that I have no job, no cash, and no income, I knit everyone a small gift. I normally go to my youngest daughters for Christmas. I had planned to be in Tanzania on Christmas Day and Zanzibar on New Years Day, but that's how life is....I had to rather use the money for rent, car payments and insurance. I've got a lot coming up and losing much in the next couple of weeks, but I'm trying to fight one crisis at a time.

Well Christmas really went well! I did really well floating above all the scheduling and "who is going where and at what time" arguments and complaints. I have one daughter who is very immature and has to have things her way or she pouts. In the past I would play into that but this year I got much better at just letting it slide. She is 26 and should know better. I neither needed to protect or scold her. Apron strings cut! Of course it is easier this year because I am not working and I had to drop out of school so it didn't matter what time and where I needed to be. That is definitely the silver lining of the cloud that is my being out of a life. lol
New Year's may be a problem. We are having a church New Year's eve party. I am pretty sure my ex guyfriend will be there and there may a guest with him. But I have a contingency plan that I will go and if I can't handle it I will bow out and tell people that I have a New Year's tradition of watching When Harry Met Sally. People that know me (including the ex) know I do this so it shouldn't be a problem. How did everyone else do?

I have a huge family but slowly I have "bowed out" of hosting the big family dinner and such. This year and Last have been scaled down versions and this year we didn't even buy presents, plan a meal or anything. It turned out to be a little depressing but we did go see everybody for a few hours. We decided to focus on smiling and just "let it be". Nobody complained. I turned my phone off Friday before new years. That weekend I was low and slept a lot and forgot to turn the phone back on, and missed a nice date with friends. Those things bother me. I feel that anxiety is my worst enemy so I do a few things fastidiously to combat it, walking it off (20 min) 10-20 min of meditation with my headphones, biofeedback, and relaxing herbal combos. (kavinace is my favorite lately) recommended by my naturopath doc.

Enjoy the holidays :)
That's what they are 4.

The holidays get worse for me every year, and part of living with bipolar is knowing and accepting my limitations. in light of this I have decided next year I will be on vacation for two weeks. beyond that, i dont feel guilty about saying no.