Mental health crisis

Am in the tail end of one now. Unusual and fortunate, this specifically has not happened before. Have been depressed, lonesome, fearful. I am not very trusting. When I try to resurect some faith, I find it a strtch. I do Bikram yoga for a whole host of medical reasons. I have found it helps. I also try to cut myself some slack. I blew off class today and took a mental health day. Yesterday I went to the ocean. The ocean helps alot. It seems to ease the pain and frustration and makes me think all is right w the world.
I am probably entering menapause and I will not go quietly into the night. Screw that. I am going kicking and screaming. My level of acceptance isn't what it could be. Writing this out is helpful, enlightening.
Everthing gets older. Closer to death. Oh well. So what? The beat goes on. Am I going to start to get sad now because some day I leave my kids? Doesn't sound logical but the feeling is there.

My son has bi polar and takes no meds., just pot. On any given day he treats me w contempt and yet we are clearly his life line and always have been.

I am rambling........ And could go on for days.....n

I hear ya about menopause. I went through it recently at age 47. A liitle too young. I think I will get saggy skin sooner than those who go through it later in life. I don't relish growing old and almost fear it. I just wonder what all of these drugs do to promote dementia. Ok, I will stop being a bummer. Geeeshh!

On the flip side, by growing older I don't give a damn about certain persons opinions. There is a freedom in that. Plus, I do feel much wiser. My BP is in good control. Therapy for PTSD is progressing. I get pretty anxious from therapy, but think it is necessary to move on in life. I don't know why it took me so many years to get help for BP and anxiety as I did not start treatment till I was 46. I just did not have a clue about mental illness until I became very ill.

I am sorry to hear about your son self medicating. I doubt he can maintain that forever and will likely learn a lesson along the way. Don't let his comtempt drag you down. I don't have kids so I cannot totally relate, but, it seems that you can only influence so much and then the rest is out of your hands. I think it helps that he knows he is BP.

I too self-medicated when I was young. After a while I realized drugs only spiral you out of control so I stopped using them and rarely even drink now. My turning point was when my boyfriend threatened to leave me if I did not quit using drugs. I think he saved my life. We have now been married 30 years.

I wish you peace.

hey i'm leewayne and trying too find anyone who has been going through treatment without getting any better or maybe even worse

I have just recently switched from a long bout of depression and social isolation and low self-esteem and lonliness, to mildly hypo-manic, if not baseline. It feels strange, I was so used to being down. Does yoga actually help your medical issues? What issues does it seem to help specifically if you dont mind me asking? Taking mental health days are crucial to finding classes manageable and not being too overwhelmed lol. I find the ocean is soothing and calming as well. Sometimes rambling on here makes me feel a hell of a lot better... hope it can help you some!