A typical anxiety day

I absolutely hate anxiety. I have it every day and have to take ativan every day. It only helps short term. I just wanted to post how I feel to see if anyone else experiences the type of anxiety that I am going through. I just want to know I'm not alone.

On a typical day, I wake up rested yet I immediately have stomach problems because I am nervous about the day. I take an ativan to calm me down so I can start out my work day on a better note. By lunch time, I am panicky, jumpy, and feeling like "I just can't do this." I find myself taking deep long breaths to try to get myself together. I start feeling like I could just cry and thinking about how much easier it would be just to escape the world. Then I push through...just a little bit longer...until after I get off work. Then I ruminate about the day, about all the social situations in which I felt awkward, and beat myself up over it. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I feel like a failure socially and avoid situations if I can. I start feeling panicky again and feeling like I can't breathe. I start feeling like things are 'caving in on me' and the future looks bleak and distressing. There's just no way I'm going to be able to do all this stuff. My mind stresses about what to eat for dinner, whether I brought home everything I was supposed to, and at the same time worries about situations that are months away. If I have to go to the store in the evening, I panic about driving. Driving terrifies me these days, especially since I had a small accident recently. I hate going to the store because I might see someone I know. And if I see someone I know then I will have to talk to them or hide, both are stressful. Then I come home and feel panicky again, the short breaths return, I take another ativan to calm myself down so I can get stuff done and go to bed. I sleep soundly somehow, but then I wake up to return to the anxious routine.

So if you took the time to read all that, thanks. It was therapeutic for me to get it off my chest.

I can definately relate to the anxiety every day! My anxiety reasons are a little different but still have the same feelings and it is like get through one day just to have the same crap the next. I was noticing you take Wellbutrin and that will make anxiety a whole lot worse....at least in my opinion because I had the worst anxiety while I was taking it and ativan was not helping much at all....I was miserable. I still have anxiety about every day but take less ativan now and sometimes can work through them. I am sorry you are going through this....you should let your pdoc know or whomever you see to manage your meds.

My heart goes out to you catlover1162. Some questions and observations. Have you been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder? I have it and you sound like a carbon copy of me. I worry about worrying and while I say that tongue in cheek it is exactly what we tend to do. Second, I agree with turtleluv about the wellbutrin. Third ativan is very addictive and it sounds (from experience) that your mind is subconsciously anticipating things that may or may not happen to upset you in order to get more of it into your system. I did ativan for awhile and let me tell you, you can and will do better without it. There are so many better things on the market.
Please do NOT take this to your psychiatrist and say "teri1960 says this!'' I am not a doctor and neither is turtlelv as I am sure he/she would be the first to tell you. I am just a person who has been at this battle for going on two decades and I know the things that don't work.
Last, I want you to know I understand and while it may seem impossible you are in the right place cat. Keep us informed, know that you are not alone, and these are normal symptoms, esp. if you have generalized anxiety disorder. Use the tools of the charting and journaling and share them with your pdoc. And please, please tell me you are seeing a therapist, a good one, that is teaching you techniques besides the meds, to deal with stress and anxiety. It sounds like getting out into social situations and support groups is hard for you. However there are techniques you can do alone to help with the anxiety attacks. Don't just read a book about the techniques or read Cosmo for gosh sake (Please, please not Cosmo!) I'm being factitious but I'm saying get good, professional help. And stay in touch.

I can identify with your anxiety. I have been diagnosed with a major depressive disorder. My depression has affected my cognitive abilities. I remember feeling very very anxious before my diagnosis.

Cognitive behavioural therapy helps me everyday where I can challenge my thoughts. When I do this, my anxiety goes down a couple of notches.


Staying in the present moment has also helped me immensely. When I focus my thoughts on the present moment, I feel calmer. Engaging or fretting about yesterday or tomorrow only fuels my anxiety. Sometimes, I have to break down my present moment into increments.

I know some people who have been diagnosed with social anxiety. There are mood disorder clinics in Toronto that can help you.

Building a support team around me has really helped me with my recovery on a daily basis.

Good luck with your recovery.

Catlover, could you have PTSD?