Self esteem issues
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July 26, 2012 - 11:37 am
I don't recall a time, except when in a euphoric state, where I did not despise myself. I have been this way since I can remember. I also suffer from PTSD due to childhood emotional abuse. Perhaps that is the source of my self hatred. I suspect that many with BPD also suffer from low self esteem. So my question is to those that have good self esteem-- how did you find it? How do you stop yourself from self harm?
I don't recall a time, except when in a euphoric state, where I did not despise myself. I have been this way since I can remember. I also suffer from PTSD due to childhood emotional abuse. Perhaps that is the source of my self hatred. I suspect that many with BPD also suffer from low self esteem. So my question is to those that have good self esteem-- how did you find it? How do you stop yourself from self harm?
July 27, 2012 - 3:57 am
Total Posts: 671
Joined: 02-09-2010
Joined: 02-09-2010
I have no idea how people do it dude. I'm so close to ending it, it's not funny. I just got out of the hospital today and I am starting to think they need to lock me up for my own safety because I feel like I am less then nothing... All I can do is tell you I completely relate to where you are, and wish better things for you.
I have no idea how people do it dude. I'm so close to ending it, it's not funny. I just got out of the hospital today and I am starting to think they need to lock me up for my own safety because I feel like I am less then nothing... All I can do is tell you I completely relate to where you are, and wish better things for you.
July 31, 2012 - 6:43 pm
Total Posts: 22
Joined: 06-26-2012
Joined: 06-26-2012
Please hold on. I worked with a therapist and did DBT dialectical behavioral therapy and it has helped immensely. My last suicide attempt was in Oct 2011 and I have been stable since then. I have bipolar as well and some PTSD from childhood rapes. You can get better and learn to like yourself. FInd a good therapist!
Please hold on. I worked with a therapist and did DBT dialectical behavioral therapy and it has helped immensely. My last suicide attempt was in Oct 2011 and I have been stable since then. I have bipolar as well and some PTSD from childhood rapes. You can get better and learn to like yourself. FInd a good therapist!
July 31, 2012 - 7:45 pm
Total Posts: 1
Joined: 07-31-2012
Joined: 07-31-2012
I have been in therapy since I was 15 years old, I'm 28 now. I feel hopeless and have very low self-esteem most days. There are my hypo-manic days when I feel I can do anything I put my mind to, but they are quickly replaced with doubt. I too have stayed away from self-harm and suicide attempts for what will be a year next month. I also have had a lot of DBT, but ultamitely I made a commitiment to myself and others to stop the self distruction. My life is very far from ideal at the moment and it gets me very depressed, but what is worse than the depression for me is losing the trust of my family and their support. I hated having them disappointed in me and not able to trust me. Hopefully you don't have to lose soooo much to see that life is better than not. Even if it sucks and you feel trapped in it.
I have been in therapy since I was 15 years old, I'm 28 now. I feel hopeless and have very low self-esteem most days. There are my hypo-manic days when I feel I can do anything I put my mind to, but they are quickly replaced with doubt. I too have stayed away from self-harm and suicide attempts for what will be a year next month. I also have had a lot of DBT, but ultamitely I made a commitiment to myself and others to stop the self distruction. My life is very far from ideal at the moment and it gets me very depressed, but what is worse than the depression for me is losing the trust of my family and their support. I hated having them disappointed in me and not able to trust me. Hopefully you don't have to lose soooo much to see that life is better than not. Even if it sucks and you feel trapped in it.
August 31, 2012 - 10:21 am
Total Posts: 1532
Joined: 08-11-2012
Joined: 08-11-2012
A therapist once told me that I wouldn't really start getting better until I gave up the idea of flight from my problems through suicide. That's easier said than done, since suicidality is a foremost symptom of major depression and bipolar disorder and ten percent of bipolars eventually commit suicide.
That statistic means two things: Bipolars think about suicide a lot, but nine out of ten bipolars never actually commit suicide, no matter how much we thinking about it. And so, for most of us, suicide will never bring us any relief if only because we won't commit suicide. We might try over and over again, but most of us won't succeed and suicide won't be the solution for most of us, even though we might desperately want for it to be our final solution.
I think my single-best strategy for dealing with depression is swimming. It's inexpensive, is hard to overindulge, creates heath and muscles while reducing obesity, makes the body well-relaxed and stretched...and I'm not out causing any trouble while I'm swimming.
Women tell me that my strong shoulders and arms are attractive, and some of the weight I would otherwise gain is burned while swimming. It makes me feel good about myself that I can swim as long and as hard as I do, but I was 22 years old before I even learned to swim and only built up to my current 4km swims over many years.
That statistic means two things: Bipolars think about suicide a lot, but nine out of ten bipolars never actually commit suicide, no matter how much we thinking about it. And so, for most of us, suicide will never bring us any relief if only because we won't commit suicide. We might try over and over again, but most of us won't succeed and suicide won't be the solution for most of us, even though we might desperately want for it to be our final solution.
I think my single-best strategy for dealing with depression is swimming. It's inexpensive, is hard to overindulge, creates heath and muscles while reducing obesity, makes the body well-relaxed and stretched...and I'm not out causing any trouble while I'm swimming.
Women tell me that my strong shoulders and arms are attractive, and some of the weight I would otherwise gain is burned while swimming. It makes me feel good about myself that I can swim as long and as hard as I do, but I was 22 years old before I even learned to swim and only built up to my current 4km swims over many years.
A therapist once told me that I wouldn't really start getting better until I gave up the idea of flight from my problems through suicide. That's easier said than done, since suicidality is a foremost symptom of major depression and bipolar disorder and ten percent of bipolars eventually commit suicide.
That statistic means two things: Bipolars think about suicide a lot, but nine out of ten bipolars never actually commit suicide, no matter how much we thinking about it. And so, for most of us, suicide will never bring us any relief if only because we won't commit suicide. We might try over and over again, but most of us won't succeed and suicide won't be the solution for most of us, even though we might desperately want for it to be our final solution.
I think my single-best strategy for dealing with depression is swimming. It's inexpensive, is hard to overindulge, creates heath and muscles while reducing obesity, makes the body well-relaxed and stretched...and I'm not out causing any trouble while I'm swimming.
Women tell me that my strong shoulders and arms are attractive, and some of the weight I would otherwise gain is burned while swimming. It makes me feel good about myself that I can swim as long and as hard as I do, but I was 22 years old before I even learned to swim and only built up to my current 4km swims over many years.
That statistic means two things: Bipolars think about suicide a lot, but nine out of ten bipolars never actually commit suicide, no matter how much we thinking about it. And so, for most of us, suicide will never bring us any relief if only because we won't commit suicide. We might try over and over again, but most of us won't succeed and suicide won't be the solution for most of us, even though we might desperately want for it to be our final solution.
I think my single-best strategy for dealing with depression is swimming. It's inexpensive, is hard to overindulge, creates heath and muscles while reducing obesity, makes the body well-relaxed and stretched...and I'm not out causing any trouble while I'm swimming.
Women tell me that my strong shoulders and arms are attractive, and some of the weight I would otherwise gain is burned while swimming. It makes me feel good about myself that I can swim as long and as hard as I do, but I was 22 years old before I even learned to swim and only built up to my current 4km swims over many years.
Joined: 06-12-2011