Stress Induced Paranoia- how do you deal?

For the past 5 days now, I have had bad stress induced paranoia (and yes, my Axis I dx is Bipolar Disorder, and that's the one I'm usually concerned with, because stress can cause bad depressive episodes and suicide attempts...but my Axis II is Borderline). I have this completely overwhelming paranoia that my ex-boyfriend (who is 27 years older than me, works at my university, is married and emotionally and verbally abused me for 3 years) is watching me through my window. This is an entirely unfounded, illogical thought, but I still get up every 5 minutes to look out my windows. My psych told me to just keep reminding myself it's unrealistic, but it's still there...and I think may have gotten exacerbated after tonight. But anyway, does anyone have any suggestions or things that work for you? I'm seeing a therapist and getting ready to transition to a psychologist, but I don't see the one until Thursday and the latter til next week.

Also, last night (long back-story to this) I was up in our (he and I are both Crim) department for a meeting (that is one place, our dept and the 7th floor it's on, that is very very triggering for me. The musky musty scent has always very viscerally reminded me of him (he always smelled musty when he'd come to class, or I'd go see him or w/e) and his presence has always been very very strong for me up there.) and I kept hearing his voice, and I'd turn to see where he was, but he wasn't there. I knew he wasn't', but then I kept wondering which was reality, even though I wasn't seeing him, and he's not on campus on Fridays, especially at 6pm, but still...that was really weird and awful. I booked it out of there as soon as the meeting was over.

I can totally relate. I'm in constant fear that my boyfriend (since he's a programmer) will break all my passwords, read my documents, enter my fb and gmail accounts, etc. Consider the fact I love him, we live together and I have absolutely nothing to hide, except my diary, in which I write about my feelings every day. Not that even there is much to hide, since I talk about almost everything to him, but I just think certain thoughts and moods I've been experiencing could hurt him, so I keep them to myself. Everyone with BPD would understand, we're just not proud of some of our thoughts and feelings. During time, I've become paranoid that he even has cameras around our apartment, records all my phone calls and stuff like that. I usually get over those feelings by writing it all down (on paper, not computer) and then tossing away all those writings so he never sees them. I know that's not a permanent solution, but makes me feel better. I will definitely talk to my therapist about that (sometimes next month that is, when she finds some time for me), and I think you should too. Don't be afraid to tell you're afraid. Till then, you could try covering that window that bothers you and trying to distract yourself. That's the best advice I can give right now, but I want you to know there's more of us out there experiencing the same. Be strong!

@LadyJ: Thanks for the sweet encouragement and advice! It's always good to know that I"m not going through this stuff alone, and that I'm not the only one experiencing it. The only problem with my window is that I have pull-down shades, and they are so freakin' old that they don't stay down the entire way, so the window in question is up a foot and a half-ish from the bottom sill and won't stay down :( That creeps me even more because it's plenty enough to see in. I'll have to think of something because every night it's there.

I've had auditory and visual hallucinations before, but these in particular were not fun...I kn ow some of it is because of fear from the abuse, but some of it isn't. Borderline and Bipolar are so much fun!!! Hope you get to talk to your therapist soon!

Hi You'll, Im BPD and new here. I remember back in the early 90's I always thought that everyone was out to get me, even my mom. I would not eat or drink ANYTHING that someone else had made unless I was actually watching and monitored. Today I am not as bad with thinking that others are "out to harm me or sabatoge me". I know that there are most definately some bad folks out there who do very aweful things to people but I honestly had to come to grips with the fact that those people were NOT in my immediate circle. I started eating at eretaurants again, but will not send back an incorrect order (lol). We have to realize and KNOW without any doubt.....That our brains do not work like they should. For whatever reason. Our minds play sick tricks on us and may not even mean to. We have to ACCEPT that it is a checmical issue in our brain and NOT an issue that we caused. BPD and PTSD have caused me many horrible days, weeks and years but I hold out hope for my sunshine to return again, I and I really think it will.....some day

I am in DBT also and my Meds are below :)

Funny, indeed, I think I would be deadly bored if I didn't have BPD.
I have one more advice, but I'm not sure how it will fit you considering your past with your ex. I'll share it anyway.
Sometimes I cope with my paranoia by letting it take over me, and just thinking of the worst things that could happen if my fears come true. I visualize all those situations, force myself to feel everything I would feel if it was real and think about all of my possible reactions, choosing the best one. When I finish with it, I feel much stronger, the fear goes away as I become completely sure I'm prepared for anything. I'm talking about imagining exactly what would I say and do in such situation. Every word, every move. Different reactions of people I'm dealing with and my response to each of those reactions.
Paranoia is coming back sometimes, of course, and as MSB1973 said, that's the game our minds are playing with us, but I just remind myself I've got a solution ready. Sometimes I need to reconsider the solutions I've made, and it makes me feel even more secure, so I guess paranoia about certain things will eventually just disappear.
And about talking to my therapist, please read my new post, since I really need some advice and support right now. Thanks in advance!

LadyJ: That's a good idea, and something my current therapist has kind of promoted...I do Radical Acceptance exercises so sometimes that helps me think through everything logically, but it's just this little thing that continuously sneaks in. My psychiatrist knows, and yesterday I told him about these big plans I have to start a student-based mental health support program on my campus, and he said to put it aside and focus on me (*rollseyes*), which means naturally, I'm going through with it :p I'll try out your idea tonight if the paranoia comes back and see what happens. Thanks!! And yeah, if not for Bipolar *and* BPD life would be boring :)