Original Dignosis of Borderline Personality Disorder as Kid

Around the age of 14 and 15, I noticed that there was something very different about how I dealt with things. It was always extremes highs or extremes lows. Never anything in the middle. My parents sent my to therapy for years, but I was ultimately said to have Borderline Personality Disorder. Oooooh... how wrong they were. As I got older and into my 20's, my behavior, risk tasking, manic episodes clearly pointed to something else. After my first daughter died of SIDS in 2001, I was FINALLY told I was Bi Polar I. I was put on meds and the long process began to find the perfect drug cocktail for me. Every day was a struggle. I could not hold a job, keep friends, relationships, or even family members in my life. I was crushed. Finally, I was put on some meds that helped me for a good while I started to rebuild my life. I don't drink or use drugs. I later had two more daughters and I wanted to be the best Mom for them, but even with my meds, every day continued to be a struggle. I know most of my triggers, but sometimes things take me by surprise and leave me scrambling to isolate myself. I am 41 now, and it has been a very long journey. I admire the people who have been able to balance their lives and get the right combo of meds. Most people have no idea what our disorder really is about. They think we just have extreme mood swings. I have built a small circle of friends who understand me, and know the signs if I start going off the deep end. I just want to be the best Mom I can be. Some days are very hard, but I struggle through it because I refuse to give up. Having such a great support system has been a life savior for me. I have been in an ongoing process of filing for disability, but we all know how that goes. However, I do want to tell all of you other sufferers, you are not alone. You are not worthless. You are loved and you matter. Don't give up and I encourage everyone to become their own best medical advocate. Keep your records and any meds you have ever taken organized. You do have rights when it comes to your own health care. Ask questions, look up different medications and have a list of questions every time you see your doctor. Don't leave until you feel satisfied with the answers. For all of you who are still struggling, you are in my thoughts and prayers. You can contact me at anytime at my email if you need to talk or just vent. LOL! I will always answer your emails. sherry.lawless@aol.com.
SIncerely,
Sherry xoxo

Thank you so much Sherry for sharing with us and for offering your help and support. I need friends because I moved recently and its hard for me at this point to trust others. Having friends that have BPD too is what I am hoping for :-)

You are most welcome. I am always here if you need someone to talk to about anything. I never judge, Much Love and Light! xoxo